scoring you

Chapter 17

Alyssa

It's been a one week since Tess left me for her trip. 

Two weeks since I got those messages.

It's okay. I keep repeating to myself in the mirror each morning. I thought I had it hard before, but at least I had Tess. Now she's gone for a month and a half!

I make my way to the ice rink at eight in the morning and once I get there I see all the guys practicing on the ice already. Matthew grins at me and smiles with a slight wave as he skates past me on the ice.

I get out a clipboard with a booklet of random papers to do with the finance of the teams expenses. I have to use the calculator on my phone, it's way to early for math and the caffeine I had this morning is yet to go to my head.

My phone rings, I look at the caller ID, it reads: Mum

My brows furrow in confusion and worry, it's pretty early for her to be calling me and normally she texts be beforehand.

I see the hockey players making there way off the ice so I walk down the hallway to the first room I see, a storage room filled to the brim with boxes.

"Mum?" I ask when I answer.

"Hello Aly!" She says very over excitedly, I can practically hear her smile if that's even possible.

"Hi- is something wrong?"

"No Aly, of course not," she says, "why do you always assume that?"

"Oh, no reason."

Maybe it's because I'm scared of my Dad, maybe I'm scared he'll hurt my Mum. Not physically- of course- mentally I mean- because words can be worse than actions and my Mother is about as fragile as they get. I'd kill anyone that hurt her- she's one of the only stable figures in my life I'd never let anything happen to her.

"What's up then?" I ask.

I hear muttering and a muffled voice in my ear, the line sounding static.

"What are you saying? I can't hear you," I say.

"Oops, sorry I keep forgetting to take my mouth away from the microphone," she chuckles, the static sound leaving. "I have some good news for you Aly."

"Oh?"

"As you know it's your dads birthday in three weeks," she says.

"Yeah-" I say slowly, my dads birthday is a date I try my best to forget along with others.

"So, we booked a flight for you to come up here and see him!" Her voice is excited, thrilled, like she's proud of the idea she has came up with.

My breaths feel ragged, they feel improper, uncontrollable. The same feeling looms in my heart, ready to explode, the same feeling when I read those texts, the dread that clouded my vision. "What?" I breath shakily.

"Your coming back home!" 

Home. An odd word, your supposed to be comforted in your home with family. Home is supposed to feel like a warm hug, I'm supposed to be happy right now though I'm not- my entire body refuses the thought of this happening. My stomach feels as if it could flip inside out with the thought of returning.

How long has it been since I've left? Three months.

Three months and I can't visit, three months and I can't return because I've been better. I haven't been perfect but I've been better and now I feel as if I could just stop breathing- I feel like I could collapse and never return because I feel light headed- and- and-