scoring you

Chapter 19

Alyssa

The sun rises as I exit the gym on a Sunday morning.

My legs ache, my stomach churns for food and my head feels so dizzy that I could collapse on the pavement right now.

When I reach the apartment I head straight into Tess's wardrobe were I find the scales that somehow disappeared the first day we arrived here.

I read 110 pounds and let out a loud shaky sigh.

There's been no improvement in the few days I've started to attend the gym, working a sweat until I almost faint.

I've barely eaten either apart from my usual green smoothies and the occasional granola bar which I practically have to shove down my throat and force myself to swallow.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror and I can hardly recognize this girl before me.

Her undereye bags are so very dark, her skin is a pasty white, her makeup has evaporated from her face leaving dripping mascara around her eyes. Her posture looks sullen and unworthy of herself because she doesn't believe she is and maybe she isn't at least that's what she thinks.

I hop into my bed after a hot shower- a shower so hot it burnt my skin that's when you know t's working.

I turn off all my lights and close the curtains- there giving me a headache. I tuck my legs up to my face and scroll through Instagram for god knows how long.

My legs bump up and down as a wave of unknown nerves crash over me like a to on bricks.

It's okay, it's okay.

Keep telling yourself that and look how far it gets you- fucking no where except for in the middle of your own twisted game.

I pass over a video that Aiden had posted to his saved story a couple of days ago. It contains myself holding onto his hands as he skates backwards leading me along the trail of the ice. He has a large grin spread across his face that I happen to be mimicking- forgetting all the fears that overwhelm my very state of mind and skating with him- Aiden- fucking Aiden Peters.

I re watch the video a couple more times to find myself smiling over the fond memory. At the very end Matthew shouts, "go get a room!" Which makes me giggle. Aiden points the finger up at him as I tilt my head back laughing with pure happiness.

Huh.

Maybe Aiden Peters really isn't as bad as I thought.

Because as I think of it I want to do it all again.

---

"You cannot be serious," Tess says through the phone.

"I'm as serious as they get Tess."

She scoffs, "yeah, whatever. Ugh, I wish I was there." I hear waves splashing around her.

"Your in fucking Miami and you wish you were here?"

"Uh- yeah duh, it's so interesting you like Aiden!"

"Hey!" I say, "don't twist my words! I said he was nice and I had fun with him," and he helped me forget about my shitty ass life which I still haven't mentioned to Tess.

"Exactly!" 

I hear a knock on the door my getaway, "hold up Tess, some one is at the door." I say as I walk towards it, swinging it open to see a brown haired boy, "Aiden?"

"Did you just say Aiden?" Tess asks through the phone which I almost drop, "helloo?" She asks again.

"Um- yeah Tess can I call you back? Thanks bye." I don't give her the chance to answer before hanging up.