Darling your different (Polly Gray/Shelby x fem! Oc)

Cuts and apologies

(Tw: MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM  AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU MAY BE TRIGGERED BY EITHER TOPIC!)

(Avyanna's pov)

I groaned as I woke up, the sun blaring through the window of polly's room,
Polly was beside me, holding my body to hers In a comfortable, protective embrace.

I tried sitting up but her arm around me tightened making me groan because I REALLY had to pee.

"What don't you like cuddles darling?"
Polly pouted opening her beautiful chocolate eyes.

"No it's not that, I just really have to pee." I Huffed, and She giggled before letting me go.

"Well go on.." she giggled and I immediately got up and fast walked to the bathroom.

After I finished using the bathroom I got up and washed my hands, looking at the now lighter bruises on my arse.

I walked back to Pollys room and tackled her, straddling her waist and pinning her hands above her head.

"Well good morning to you too."
She let out that giggle I adored.

"Good morning, My love." I smiled and kissed her head

"why are my hands above my head?" She asked in a playful tone.

"Cause I wanted to have them there."

"Do you really think you can't top me, luv?" She smirked.

"I-" I Started to say something but she flipped us over and she was on top, my hands pinned above my head.

"That was way to easy." She leaned down pecking my lips, before getting up.

She went to her closet, and grabbed her favorite grey suit and the put it on.

"You're staring." She stated with smirk.

"I know." I Smiled playfully and stood up.

I walked to My bedroom and got dressed in Black trousers, a white blouse, a black blazer.

I walked downstairs, Polly already drinking her morning coffee.

"You look nice."

"Thank you, darling. So do you." She smiled and continued reading her paper.

I sat down, crossing my legs.

"What's on your schedule today?"

"I have to go to an orphanage with Thomas later this evening, Then I have to go check on ada, then I'm going to see Esme, John, and Elisa." She answer.

"You have a busy schedule then." I giggled.

"What about you luv, what's your plans, well I'm going to see my father, Then I'm pretty much free for the rest of the day." I shrugged.

"Well have fun, I should head out."
She stood up and put her mug in the sink, before walking over to me pecking my lips.

"I love you, I'll see you later, alright?"

"I love you too, Be careful." I smiled softly, she returned my smile then walked to the door grabbing her Coat then walked out.

(Time skip)

I sat on my fathers couch.

"Father..."

"Avyanna, That's enough! I told you you had a week and a half! Now you have a week! Now get out and pack your shit!"
He Snapped and I left slamming the door.

He wouldn't actually do anything would he... I'm his little 'princess'...right....wrong... But he's a man, men are cruel...not all men just most of them in this day in age..

I walked down the street and making my way home

What would Polly think...
She would think I left her...
What about Elisa and Finn and ada..
What would tommy, arthur and john think....
I'm just disappearing...
Maybe it would be better if I died instead of disappearing that way I wasn't betraying anyone by just leaving...
Polly would be better off without me...
I'm a bad influence for Finn and Elisa anyway...

No one would care if I died right...?

Before I knew it I was home
It was calm and quiet within the house, I went upstairs to the bathroom, grabbing my blades, looking Into the mirror.

"Do I really need to do this...." I whispered to myself the little voice In my head saying yes.

(This is the beginning of the Self-harm, don't really if it may trigger you)

I locked the bathroom door, then sat on the floor, taking one of the blades.

I pressed the sharp piece of metal to my light skin, then jerked my hand to the side making the blade rip my skin, leaving a deep gash on my upper forearm.

I watched as blood seeped from the deep wound, Then pressed the blade just below the wound copying my action, watching the blade rip my skin once again.

I moved to my other arm, my hand shaking as I copied the action at the same place on my other forearm, blood dripping from my arms as I added another deep cut to my forearm.

Then I added one to each wrist, each slash left deep wound, blood dripping to the floor from my forearms and wrists, each cut stinging as my eyes watered.

Everything began spinning as I closed my eyes letting my life flash before my eyes every childhood moment, My father, My siblings, The Peaky blinders, Elisa...Finn ......Polly....

(Polly's pov)

I got home, Tommy and Arthur were with me, it was about 7:45 pm, the house was quiet so I assumed avyanna was still out.

"I'll be right back I'm going to the bathroom.." I stated as Arthur and Tommy sat down, and then went to the bathroom, but the door was locked.

I knocked on the door, assume avyanna was in there.

"Avyanna?" I said calmly.

"Avy?" Nothing

"Darling?" Still nothing.

Now I was getting worried.

"Avyanna come on, open the door please..." Nothing, I bent down and picked the lock, nothing could have prepared me from what I see when I opened the door.

"ARTHUR, TOMMY!!" I yelled, running up to avyanna's body.

"No, no, no, avyanna don't do this to me... don't leave me..." I whispered, checking her pulse it was very weak but it was there.

Arthur and Tommy ran in

"Polly what's- avyanna..." Arthur paused.

"Avy wake up, please... Avyanna.. don't die on me..." My voice cracked as Tears began to trickle down my cheeks.

"Polly..." Thomas gently pulled me away from her as Arthur picked up avyanna limp body.

"We'll take her to the doctor, alright...?" 
Thomas spoke while holding me tightly in his arms, all I could do was nodded, my chest was on fire, I could physically feel my heart breaking.

Why would she do that..
Is it me..?
Is it us..?
no...No! Avyanna wouldn't kill herself because of us right... because of me..?

{A/n.}

Hii, I'm sorry this honestly sucks and hurts...

Also sorry I haven't posted in ages, I was taking a break to take vare of myself...or at least try to.

Also I can't believe I'm saying this but I have a crush on a guy and in real life
Like what the f*ck?

He's literally older that my father to! Like what the F*CK?!

He's also Italian...so I'm learning Italian...but he speaks English so at this point I'm just trying to impress him...like seriously idk what the F*ck is wrong with me rn...

So ughhhh!! Anyway have a good day, night, evening or whatever.

Also I love you guys! And I'm very proud of you.