S7VEN (La Familia Kingpin Series #1)

59. Flesh & Stones

SANTY

A BAD beginning deserves a bad ending. I frown at my hands that is now stretched above me. Why did those words seems familiar? At bakit tila may isang patalim ang dahan-dahang bumaon sa tagiliran ko dahil sa mga katagang iyon?

Ipinilig ko ang ulo't nag-concentrate sa mga hugis na nagsasalimbayan sa itaas ko. I squinted my eyes, flex my hands as puffy white water crystals passed between my nimble fingers. I was once again lost in this forgotten past time. Cloud watching.

My eyes glossed, and a bitter smile crossed my face as a flower-shaped cloud passed above me. May bikig na bumara sa lalamunan ko nang maalala ang mukha ng tunay na ina. We used to do this before, her reading a book while I lazed around, putting names and shapes on the cotton candy clouds. She would laugh at me sa maling shape o hayup ang masasabi ko. Those days... they're all gone. Her smiles, the warmth. I was left with bitter-sweet memories and clouds. Lots of it.

I blink the tears away.Nagsisikip ang dibdib ko.

"S-stop, Santy," inis na kausap ko sarili't muling itinuon ang pansin sa kalangitan.

Puso. Aso, pusa, bulaklak. Sari-sari. Her. Napkurap ako sa biglang pagsagi ng mukha ni Ate Ada.

Her? Kailan mo siya titigilang maging kapatid at sisimulang tanggapin bilang ina?

I grimace at that thought. Gustohin ko mang sagutin, hindi ko pa kaya. Hindi pa ako handa. I tucked that small voice into the deepest part of my brain. Kagat ang labing pinahid ng kaliwang kamay ko ang gilid ng mga mata. Pagbaling ko sa kanan may mga damong humalik sa pisngi ko, inis na binunot ko ang mga 'yon. Those grasses were sticking out from the blanket I laid out earlier when I arrived at this cemetery.

Yes, you heard me right. Creepy as it may sound, I find solace in a place where everyone's afraid. Amid weeping angels, gravestones, and stained glass windows, I decided to unload my baggage. I might be surrounded by a hundred restless souls, but they're just that. Restless. Maybe I am one of them now, right?

"I k-know you're there. Listening. Or not at all. I don't know," garalgal na simula ko.

Parati na, kapag tinatalikuran ako ng mundo, sa puntod ako ng ate Ada kumakanlo. Today's not an exception. Despite the mounting anger and resentment I felt towards her, I'm still here. Seeking peace, or atleast the bit of it.

"H-he and I....Seven, hindi kami dapat pinagtagpo. Just l-like you and him," patuloy ko't nilingon ang lapida ng ina.

Adelaide "Ada" Dominique Vidal- Too beautiful for this world.

Tila may isang kamay ang dumakot sa puso ko nang mabasa ang mga huling katagang katabi ng pangalan niya. Indeed she was. My eyes lingered on the fresh purple calla lillies that sits right to the fresh roses I brought with me ealier.

I made a mental note to ask the keeper kung sino sa pamilya ko ang palaging nagdadala noon. Last time I was here, may ganoong bulaklak din akong naabutan. I wonder if it was from my mother who happens to be my grandmother. Jeez. Ang gulo.

Sighing, I darted my gaze to the sky which was starting to get gloomy. Nakikiayon sa akin pati ang langit.

"He left me at the altar after we signed that paper. Who does that, right? Sabi n'ya death certificate ko raw iyon, I didn't believe him a bit. Ngayon na-realize kong tama s'ya. The day I uttered I do to Seven, I was already digging my grave," iniunat ko ang mga daliri. The light caught the diamond stone on my wedding ring, I had to squint my eyes as the pain started to pierce my heart.

"G-gustuhin ko mang umalis, hindi na maaari. I gave too much of myself...of my heart and soul to him. I'm sinking– no, naka baon na ako bago ko pa namalayan," pagak akong natawa't itinakip ang kamay sa mga mata ko. "Ang masaklap, ayoko nang umalis sa kinasasadlakan kong 'to. B-but it hurts, ate A-ada. The truth. Six days had passed yet...it's still fresh. The betrayal, yours...him and everyone else's. I'm angry. I treated him l-like a ghost. He's hellbent about it. Ramdam ko iyon bawat araw na magtatagpo kami but I'm too stubborn and numb to care."