The Counselor | S. Aizawa

XIV

" I will leave my heart at the door, I won't say a word they've all been said before "

—

NARRATOR

"Sign here and then initial here." Y/N's Lawyer spoke no emotion evident in her voice. The sound of papers being ruffled through; a single click of a pen filled with black ink graffitiing the divorce papers can be heard throughout the silent room. He only ever spoke a few words to her consisting of "Hi" or "Let's get this over with..." other than that he was obedient. He never saw her again, she was never home. He couldn't be worried anymore, he couldn't call her anymore. All he did was work and cry after getting off work. Nothing seemed to make sense.

Soon he had to move, soon he had to figure things out for himself, soon he had to focus on himself, soon he had to break the news to his family and probably hers. As she never bothered too. Soon, it was official, it was over and he couldn't do anything about it. He mourned her, he mourned their marriage. It was quiet and distant everything around him became a white noise, he could pick out her voice from a crowd of strangers even people he knew. They meant nothing at least in this moment.

He wasn't sure he could ever love again, but eventually he felt he would be fine. He wished he could turn back time to say yes maybe then things would be different. He had no idea if this was what God would've intended or any God for that matter. None of made it sense. It as though he was lost something more then his identity but an extension of himself someone who brought out the best in him. Someone who made him who he was and only ever wanted the best for him. Y/N was and will always be his last.

After signing the final sheet of paper concerning financials and where everything would be spilt down the middle none of it seemed to matter anymore. He put the pen down and Y/N's lawyer along with his own talked briefly, he blocked out everything and stared at the empty seat beside Y/N's lawyer and sighed a single tear escaping his eye.

Oh how he missed her, he's never been someone to show emotion unless it was with Y/N he remembered seeing her sobbing in her car and it felt like five years ago when they found they made it into the Hero Commission.

Although, any young hero's dream was getting into the agency of their dreams or even making it on their own but their paths were aligned. It was a memory he chose to cherish the most, they were happy then. 

He couldn't run to her anymore, he couldn't cry to her anymore, he couldn't be anything to her anymore. It all hurt.

H/N stood up and shook hands with someone and mumbled a short "bye." and walked out without looking back. He kept his head down and rushed out the building and jogged to his car and as quickly as he walked out he shut his door and cried, cried as if his life was over and while it wasn't it felt like it was. The silence that rung out, made his sobbing louder. There was no one to hold him, to comfort him now. He felt like an empty shell that was filled to the brim with love, respect, reassurance and with someone to share it with. He missed her and it's only been a month.

While getting divorced took longer then a month. They had many connections and some colleagues knew of some really talented lawyers who fought tooth and nail for their clients not that a fight would break out.

A part of H/N died that day, it couldn't be replaced and it couldn't be fixed. To him it was the end. The day he lost his wife was the day he denied her wishes, ignored her voice and focused on himself. While all this wasn't actual grounds to really leave someone it was enough for Y/N.

He was only human and while he made mistakes this one hurt the most. He hadn't seen his childish ways and he could only accept his part in this.

(🤍✨)

An hour had passed and H/N had woken up again in the half empty parking lot. A tension headache in the front of his head ached.

He hadn't bothered to even look at himself, all he wanted to do was sleep. It seemed like the best option to him. So, he took a few deep breaths and headed home, a temporary home as he had to move. He sighed wanting to forget everything.

Mindlessly as if he was the undead he started the car and silently made his way to his ex-wife's house. He wasn't sure if he could even call it home anymore nothing made it feel like home since they still slept in separate rooms.

"I can't do this.." He mumbled as more tears threatened to fall.

—

ngl, i know it's short but next chapter will be much more exciting and also, i was sobbing writing this. divorce is like losing a part of yourself but at the same time you reinvent yourself. — A. 💕