Beached Whale

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You sit on your couch, lazing. You're waiting for your boyfriend to come home, and in the meantime, you pass the time by watching a nature documentary on the ocean, while snacking on any candies and snacks that you had in the cupboard. It's a fascinating watch. This episode is about whales, in fact. The narrator is talking about their enormity. He begins:

"The humpback whale is among the largest of all creatures. They can weigh up to 30 tons. "

You scoff. I'll soon weigh more than that if I keep eating like this... you think, feeling a little shame at the display of laziness that you've put yourself in, surrounding yourself in wrappers and not moving a muscle except to shovel more greasy food into your mouth. But the momentary guilt is banished by how delicious the potato chips you're snacking on are, and so you put those thoughts away, focusing once more on the documentary.

"We can see here how the creature sustains its massive weight: with over one and a half tons of krill a day. That's about as much as the average person eats in an entire year. "

Once again, you're overcome with a sudden awareness of your own situation with the narrators words. You've certainly eaten more than one and half tons of food over the past year... hell, it felt like you had eaten more than a ton of food just in the past hour, with how heavy and bloated and heavy you were feeling... Maybe I should stop. You think. Before the thoughts get to you, you pop and M&M in your mouth. Mmmmm. The concerns disappear.

"You can see the whale feed. The krill they eat are tiny, barely visible to the naked eye. You have to wonder how such a massive creature sustains its weight on such tiny prey. But the sheer volume of the amount that Whales consume is what allows them to grow so big. And the fact that when they feed, they essentially eat all day long"

You begin to grab snacks with more intensity, watching as the majestic whale feeds on the screen. The beautiful imagery, the calming music... the talk of eating... it's got you in a trance. You shove more chips into your mouth. Soon, you realize the bag is empty. But, like a whale, you don't stop. You scoop up the crumbs, licking the grease off your fingers. When even that is gone, you simply reach for another bag. You struggle a bit, your belly has grown stiff, your arms are weak and pudgy, but you reach it eventually. You sigh from the effort and continue eating, eyes locked on the screen.

"Of course, sometimes whales' enormous weight can provide some problems. When whales get beached, their sheer size makes it almost impossible to move their massive, blubbery bodies back out to sea. "

You groan. Suddenly, everything comes to you, how much food you just packed into your stomach. You look at your massive, round tummy stuck in front of you. You try to push yourself up, but it's too much. The weight of everything you've stuffed yourself with is too much. You try once more. You fail, collapsing back down, gasping and sweating. You rub your hand over your belly and press a little, wincing at the tightness of it. You lay your head back down, rubbing your belly, surrounded by wrappers, too fat and full to get up.

That's when your boyfriend comes in the door. You barely notice him, but he notices you. He smiles at you, at his own beached whale.

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