[Edited 10/7/2016]
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I won't keep chasing ghosts, I need somebody I can hold
Gave you my heart and soul
Thought I was chasing love, I was only chasing ghosts.
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It all started after Lissa saved Dimitri with her Spirit magic. My personal hell. Love fades, mine has. His words drew cuts on my skin, ripped them open, then pierced itself into my shattered soul. I honestly thought that saving Dimitri was the best choice that hurt the least people, but it turned out to be the worst. I not only shattered my own heart- I got rejected by Dimitri and I broke Eddie's trust in me. Ever since Lissa saved Dimitri, he had been ignoring me and even at the time I went to visit him, he rejected me and tore my soul with those four cruel words.
It would've been fine if he just rejected me. But to rub the salt in my wounds, everything he might have felt for me before... had been transferred to Lissa. Every time Lissa looked at me apologetically as Dimitri stared unabashedly at her face in wonder, my heart clenched, until the pain was a regular reminder of the rash decisions I've made.
His gaze was not only filled with wonder- love and a hint of lust showed in his familiar eyes. Sometimes I wondered if he was even cured at all, with the confusing attitude and the abrupt shut-down to me. But nonetheless, it was a look I once expected to be trained on me.
Once, I thought I could have a happy ending. Once, I thought love was a item that I wouldn't have to sacrifice for. But there isn't a free thing on Earth, is it? Now, I've grown up. I've learnt how life can be bad, but it can get even worse. I've learnt that even the smallest scattered thing on Earth has a price.
I thought I knew everything; I thought I could conquer the worst of battles. But now, everything was spinning out of control and Christian, my sworn enemy and Lissa's boyfriend- was my only tether to sanity.
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Songs on loop during writing:
Kill 'Em With Kindness - Selena Gomez
WILD - Troye Sivan
New York City - The Chainsmokers
Pity Party - Melanie Martinez
Carousel - Melanie Martinez
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It All Started As Revenge
FanficWhen Lissa saves Dimitri from the clawed grasps of the darkness in being a Strigoi, everything changes. Dimitri no longer harbours feelings for Rose, and there borne the words, "Love fades, mine has." But contrary to the book, Dimitri actually meant...