First Glance

Chapter 7

SARYIA

So...

This is how it felt like when you're heart's breaking into pieces. And the aching in my stomach didn't help at all.

Looking at her earlier while smiling at him when he's feeding her makes me want to punch the hell out of him.

I'm fucking jealous because he can do that to her. He can make her smile, he can fed her and most of all he can hold her freely without her pushing him away.

While me?

I'm always forcing myself to her.

Ang sakit.

Nakakawalang gana.

Hindi ko man lang nalaman na may boyfriend na pala ito, anong klaseng tao ako na pinipilit ang sarili sa taong may kasintahan na. Mahal ko siya, mahal na mahal pero kahit ganunpaman hindi sumagi sa isipan ko ang manira ng may karelasyon na.

Is this another heartbreak for me? I thought bitterly.

"Sary, the class is done and Prof Griffin has been calling your name." Yvette softly caress my back as she whispered.

I blinked the tears away and smile at Yve, I don't wanna cry in front of them, especially in front of her.

Hindi ko man lang namalayan na tapos na pala ang klase niya sa amin, my mind was clouded with pain that I didn't notice my surroundings.

"Bansa, kanina ka pa tinatawag ni Prof Griffin." this time si Shantelle na ang nagsalita.

Tumayo ako sa pagkakaupo saka kinuha ang aking gamit. "Ah. Can you tell her that I'm not feeling well?" I said to them. "I want to go home now, I want to be alone." I said quiet enough for the both of them to hear.

"Alright, Sary." Yve responds, before giving my cheek a peck. "You take care, okay?"

I nodded.

"Text me when you got home safely." Shantellemo kissed my cheek before fixing her things.

Pagkatapos kong magpaalam sa dalawa kong kaibigan ay lumabas na ako sa classroom ng hindi siya tinatapunan ng tingin. Sa kabilang pintuan ako dumaan para hindi ako nito maharang.

Bukas nalang ako pupunta ng detention lalo na't may 1 and a half weeks pa ako dun dahil sa pag-park ko ng sasakyan sa parking lot nila.

Pagkarating ko sa bahay ay wala pa sila Mom and Dad, nasabi na nila kagabi sa akin na mal-late sila ng uwi ngayon araw. Mabuti nalang dahil ayaw kong makita nila ako sa ganitong estado.

They're used to me being hyper and cheerful and I intend to keep it that way.

When I'm already in my room, I lazily slumped my body on my bed as I let my tears that I've been holding earlier to fall freely from my pillow.

I silently sobbed as I hold my chest tightly because the pain is too much to bear.

I've never experience this kind of heartbreak before with Yve, well, maybe because I'm always with Yve and then Yve doesn't give a fuck about her surroundings that's why I've never been jealous.

Pero ngayon? Tangina.

Parang mas gugustuhin ko nalang lumaklak ng sleeping pills dahil sa sobrang sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

I continue sobbing on my pillow, thinking all the crazy things I did just to get noticed by her. I'm not regretting it though, but I did regret the part where I'm forcing myself to her not knowing that she's already in relationship.