Hanni
Ever since I was little I was introduced to the religion of Christianity. The standards and beliefs of what is right and wrong were set to me ever since. The religion became the morals of my life, it taught me how to act, and it taught me how to speak.
I live a life where I have to follow the rules and expectations that are set to me. I can't commit any mistakes that would be in a form of betrayal to god himself. I can't commit mistakes that would bring shame and disappointment to my parents.
In a way, a fear of failure is my motivation to keep all that is right in my life and what is wrong far away from me.
I had become the perfect daughter throughout the years. Now, a woman who puts god before anything, and family after the great lord.
I was always told that he is the one who protects each and one of us, he's the one who guides us in the path that we call life. The Bible is what holds the holy scriptures of the Christian religion. In other forms, it's the word of god.
The Bible teaches us how it is that we as people should live life. We would be granted the entrance to heaven if we follow the Bible's teachings. That we have to stay away from the devil, or we'll burn in the fire that is his hell.
The devil isn't far away from us either, temptation will always surround us. And as far as we stay away from those inner desires that the devil wants us to fall in to, we'll be more than fine.
But what if I, a daughter of god for years, has fallen in to a terrible temptation? That I'm committing the biggest known sin against the lord that watches over me? That what I want is wrong in every page of that Bible? That I'm seeking for something that I will never be able to have?
I could already feel the disappointment in the lords eyes, in my parents eyes, and in the society of brothers and sisters.
It is said that a romantic relationship is only between a man and a woman, and anything besides that is a sin that will lead you to hell. That people who are attracted to the same sex are a work from the devil.
I read the words of the Bible repeatedly, hoping to burry those feelings away as it puts me in a very complicated situation. And maybe this sin makes me realize just how much of a human I am.
You want to know what's my sin? The sin that puts me against the beliefs I was taught and my wants? The sin that tears me and my heart apart?
I fell in love with a woman. That's my sin.
