Hanni
After our little talk, I decided to surprise Minji. Her parents are out of the city again, and I managed to convince my mom that I would be staying at my friend Danielle's house for a sleepover party. Danielle is a very bubbly girl and my mom likes her, and she offered to help on the little lie. And may god bless her with only good things.
"Are you sure?" Minji asked as she led me in to the familiar house. "Yes, my mom won't suspect a thing, and I'll get to finally cuddle with you and be able to wake up with you in the morning." I said and Minji's worries vanished as she leaned down and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips.
"I'm so lucky to have you." She said with a bright smile as she led me to the living room of the house. But then, I shook my head at her and Minji gave me confused look. "Let's go to your room...I want to cuddle." What I'm thinking of doing is nowhere of innocent. And god, may you forgive me.
I've never been inside of Minji's room, we've never gone to that part as I don't really get the chance to properly spend quality time with her or her family.
Minji now led me to her room, no hesitation at all. Once we reached a door she opened it and guided me to go inside, and I don't know what I was expecting to see. The usual dirty room or the super neat freak room? But I was met with just a well adorned room. And I could feel my heart beating so fast once I saw what hanged on the walls.
Minji was a good painter, she loved painting but I didn't imagine her to have many hanging canvases that were of me. They were all of her point of view of me. Hearts and stars surrounded me in one of the paintings as I smiled. "I may or may not have a little obsession for you." Minji said as she scratched the back of her neck all shyly and embarrassed. She's so cute!
"Aw! You love me so much. I wish I could paint you too, but I can't even draw a stickmen properly." And Minji let out a laugh as she pulled me to her. "And I would still hang that stickmen up on the wall as if it were a medal." She said, leaning down to give me a quick kiss.
"Come on, I'll go get some popcorn while you pick a movie or anything you'd like for us to watch." And before Minji could turn around to leave, I grabbed her arm tightly. Which caused Minji to look back at me confused.
"What's wrong? Are you okay? Your mind has seemed to be elsewhere today, but I didn't want to intrude." She said as she pulled me closer to her again and pressed a tender kiss on my temple.
"You know you can tell me anything, I'm never going to judge you or make you feel any worse about what you may be going through. I hope you know that, but don't kill me with the silence that you keep." I could feel my heart either breaking or warming at her words.
"Yes, I'm okay! I just...I had something planned for us." I said, Minji tilted her head slightly and I just wanted to squeeze her cheeks...focus!
"Which is?" She asked and I couldn't seem to find the proper words to explain to her what I truly had in mind for us to do today. How am I supposed to just blurt it out?! God, please help me.
"I've been thinking...and I don't know, I may be rushing things but I don't think I can let life take you away from me without letting me experience this with you." I said, looking up at her chocolate brown eyes that seemed to be melting me under their gaze.
"What are you talking about?" She asked softly as her hand reached up and caressed my cheek with the back of it. The touch was soft but heart warming.
"Minji, I want us to try it out." Stop being so vague! Just tell her! Minji looked at me with her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to understand me. "Try what out? Hanni, breathe." I could feel my chest rising and falling rapidly and I didn't even know why. It was just a simple sentence, what was so hard about saying it?
And I know Minji wouldn't loose her sense of humanity and launch at me knowing that I gave her the green light and use me for her own desires. She would never.
But a part of me was scared, and I couldn't shake the feeling off no matter how much I tried.
"Whatever it is you want us to do, you don't have to say it, show me instead, if that's okay with you? I can see you're not very comfortable at wording it." Minji said softly as her eyes looked at me with love. How was Minji always so understanding? And how was she always so innocent on times she shouldn't be?!
But it was best for the both of us that I gave her that verbal confirmation. After all, I know Minji would never do anything without receiving my verbal consent. I truly hit jackpot. She's worth more than all the money it offers.
With a deep sigh, I was finally able to find my voice again.
"I want us...to have sex."
I watched as Minji's jaw had dropped and her eyes widening as she was slowly processing what I had said. "You want to what?" Minji seemed to be flabbergasted with what I had said. And in any other circumstances, I would've laughed. But I can't laugh right now.
"Hanni...are you sure? We're still young, and you believe in sex after marriage. If it's about what I said the other night, I'm sorry. I only said it to voice out my feelings and not make you change your opinion about it." Minji said as she shook her head at me.
"You know I'll wait for you, there's no need for you to rush this against your own willing belief. I love you and I'd never want for you to give me something you weren't ready for." Her words were making my eyes swell with tears. She was so sweet.
"Minji..." she didn't let me finish as she continued to talk. "We don't have to do this, I hope you know that. I'm not an animal, or wild beast to try and hurt you. Don't ever doubt me on that." She said and I felt my heart break.
Of course she's not animal! Or some wild beast! She's just Minji, the woman who would always put me first, and make me feel like the most important and luckiest woman alive.
She was a fallen angel with a broken wing that characterizes who she is.
"Minji, I'm being serious about this." I said and Minji shook her head too, not having this conversation. "This ends here, love. We won't have sex until you're truly ready. You couldn't even say it to me." Minji said and that's when my heart shattered.
Minji pulled away from me slightly and looked at me. "Minji." I called out and she just shook her head. And then I called out for her again and she shook her head at me once more. She was stubborn, but I'm stubborn too.
Which made everything perfect.
"I never said I wasn't ready!" I huffed and Minji looked away. "I know, I just don't want us to do something that you might regret after." Her voice sounded so sad. I'd never regret something like this.never if it's with her.
"Minji" and this time she nodded at me, looking at me. "Do you remember what you had promised me a couple of weeks ago?" I asked and Minji stood there for a couple of seconds as she thought of it.
Being Minji's girlfriend seemed to be the most amazing thing. She surprises me with letters, single roses, and small gift so that she could pamper me. But what she had promised was to give me anything I wanted. I'd say, and she'd do.
I looked at her with loving eyes as I pulled her closer to me this time. Her eyes were still confused but she let me in regardless.
"Yes, I remember the promise I made, but why so sudden? Did I break it? Oh my god, I did break it!" Minji said and I could hear her panic, almost feeling it and I shook my head at her.
"That's not what I'm trying to get at." I said and Minji let out a sigh of relief and I couldn't help but giggle.
"You promised to do anything I asked, right?" And Minji eagerly nodded. "Well this is the moment where I ask you to do something. And you can't say no." I said and Minji gave me a nod, waiting for me to say what I want.
I took a deep breath and looked at her in the eyes.
"I want you to make love to me."
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It is so going to get steamy in here
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