Hanni
Tears swelled my eyes, as the exhaustion finally hit me. I looked over at Minji who now held Min-Joon in her arms. Talking to him and playing around with him. The little being giggled as Minji tickled him.
I have already breastfed him and now we're just waiting for the nurses to come back and take him to NICU so that they can make sure he's fully ready to go home with us.
When I held him, I couldn't help but laugh at how much he looked like Minji. Min-Joon is definitely the mini version of Minji.
"Baby, you should go to sleep. You're so tired and I know it." She said as she sat down on the edge of the hospital bed. Looking at me with worried eyes.
"Can I hold him again?" I asked instead, Minji was hesitant because she was right, I was tired. But I wanted to hold my baby again. Minji gave me a smile as she carefully placed Min-Joon facing down on my chest.
"He's so tiny." Minji said as she placed her hand over my own, as my other hand went up and patted Min-Joon's back.
I let out a giggle when he let out a little baby noise, Minji chuckled as he moved around. Minji tried to hide it, but she wanted to cry. Her eyes held tears as they looked at me and at Min-Joon.
"Go ahead and cry, loser." I said jokingly but Minji shook her head as she laughed, letting the tears finally fall. At the end of the day, within Minji still existed the little girl that never thought she'd have any of this.
The little girl who only wanted love.
Minji laid her head on my stomach as she cried, I could feel my own tears forming as I patted the top of her head to comfort her.
And it was as if Min-Joon could feel his mother's emotions, he started wriggle in my hold and make a whining noise. Hearing this, Minji lifted her head up and forced herself to stop crying and wiped the tears away.
"Is he hungry?" Minji asked, right about ready to help me get ready to breastfeed him but I shook my head at her. "Hug him, baby. He feels your emotions." I said and she looked at me as she stood up, her red and puffy eyes made her look so cute.
"My poor little one, I didn't mean to make you sad too." Minji said to the little one as she carefully picked him up and placed him over her chest. She motioned me to scoot over and I did, the bed was big enough for us both.
And then she laid down next to me, carefully as she held Min-Joon tightly against her so that he wouldn't fall. He looked so small compared to her big frame. Minji's a giant.
Her arm went under my neck and pulled me closer to her once she was fully lying down next to me. My head landed on her shoulder as Min-Joon was at the center of her chest already sound asleep.
"He's one sleepy head." I said as I let out a lazy laugh and Minji laughed along as her hand stroked my back in a loving manner.
"And you, should be going to sleep now. Min-Joon will be fine, you need to rest, my love." She said and I already felt myself falling asleep in her embrace.
I already feel dread because my dad couldn't come and be here with me as my mother dragged him out of town to go see my grandma. And I really wanted him to be here and hold Min-Joon for the first time. But it's not his fault.
The Kim's were outside, we already had a whole photo shoot with Min-Joon. It was so cute when we were looking over the photos, they already had everything planned out as they had already bought a photo book to be able to put all of Min-Joon's pictures in as he grows up.
Only if my family could do that.
I could only smile lazily as Minji kissed the top of my head. "You know, I want more kids, but seeing you go through this much pain just makes me not want to put you through that again." She said and I placed my hand on her stomach, caressing her abs that flexed under my touch.
"No matter how much it hurts, it's all worth it at the end. And if you want more children, you know I'll give them to you." I said, sort of in a mumble.
"I want to have a big family with you." I said, drawing random shapes on her stomach and Minji giggled as it tickled her. "But are you sure you want to do all of this again? I don't want you to be hurt, it was already torture having you scream and yell out in pain. You almost broke my hand!" She said as she showed me her bruised hand, I may or may have not gripped her hand a little too tight.
"But that's not what I care about, you can break my hand all you want. But I care about you, my heart shattered seeing you go through all of that just to give birth to a blessing. And it's not even fair because I don't go through any pain." She said, I could already see her pouting as she spoke.
"Giving you children is the least I could do for you, and that the end of this conversation. We're having more children." I sounded a little more stern so Minji didn't argue any further.
"I love you so much, marry me already!" She said jokingly and I lifted my head to look at her and lifted my hand up. "I'm waiting for the ring." I said as wiggled my fingers at her and she let out a chuckle.
"I'll put a ring on your finger soon, trust me." She said and with the last bit of energy I had, I cuddled up to her, my hand landing right below her's on Min-Joon's back.
"Careful, baby. You're still sensitive." She said and I could only nod as my heart was racing. Everything about Minji made my heart race, but seeing her hold our baby with a giant smile on her face as she held me closer to her just made me melt in to her.
I never knew that seeing that would make tears swell in my eyes. Something about it just made me so emotional. I wanted to kiss Minji all over her face and tell that I love her a million times until it became engraved in to her brain.
If giving birth granted me this view, I'd give birth to her children a thousand times. I would be out of my mind to do that, but for Minji I would be. Just to see that big smile on her face.
"The next one will definitely be a girl, and I would want to name her Ha-Joon, you know? For Hanni?" And my heart melted more.
We chose his name to be Min-Joon for Minji, and we chose good as he's a clear replica of her. He's Minji's boy. And I could already see them playing around, Minji chasing after him, building some random stuff with him. I can't wait to watch him grow up.
"I like the name, but we'll have to brainstorm some more in case we end up having twins." I said and she let out a chuckle. "You're right, that's why you're smarter than me." She said and I shook my head at her.
"But for now, Min-Joon is more than enough. We're still young and we are still going to try and adapt to all of this. But from right now, I promise you to be best mother and girlfriend. I will do my very best to take care of the two of you, I won't be perfect and I hope for you to forgive me for that." She said, and I shook my head at her.
"I'm not expecting you to be perfect, I just want you to try, and I know you will, I'm not worried about that. And if you make mistakes that's fine, especially now, we're young and still trying to figure life out." I said and Minji nodded holding me tighter.
It was silent for a couple of seconds until Min-Joon started to open his eyes and make some odd noise. Minji looked down at me and I looked back up at her and we both started to laugh.
I can get used to this.
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