Hanni
I could smell the scent of food as I stirred awake, I could feel a gentle touch again the soft skin of my arm. "Hanni." Minji's angelic voice called out for me. Was I dreaming? Or was I in heaven?
I opened my eyes to see Minji sitting on the edge of the bed next to me. Her hand moved up and down my arm gently, trying to wake me up. "You looked so at peace sleeping that I felt bad for waking you, but it's almost noon." Minji said. I looked at her with a big smile on my face as I remembered last night.
Minji was now wearing a simple t-shirt and boxers as her brown eyes looked at me so lovingly. I placed my hand on her thigh, caressing her skin softly. Our touches have always been so intimate, but they were never sexual.
Minji leaned down and kissed my exposed shoulder. "You okay, love? I can give you a massage if your body hurts, or I could get you some painkillers?" Minji asked and I shook my head at her as I smiled lazily at her. I was just a little tired.
"I smell food." I said instead which caused Minji to chuckle and reached over for a tray that was on the night stand beside me. "I made you breakfast, I didn't know exactly what you wanted so I kind of just made a little bit of everything for you." She said scratching the back of her neck. She's as beautiful as her soul, and I will never get over that.
"And I also got you some towels ready so that you could shower, I also got the bag that you brought with extra clothes from your car, it's in the bathroom too." She said and I could only look at her fondly. She's so attentive and caring.
I sat up on the bed as she put the tray over my lap carefully making sure not to hit me with it or spilling anything. I quickly dived in to the food because I was truly starving. "I'm glad you liked it." Minji said with a smile as she watched me eat. Her eyes on me made me feel a little shy.
After a couple of seconds she looked away, she seemed a little troubled. "What's wrong?" I asked and she let out a sigh. "I wonder when we'll get to do that again, I loved the feeling more than I'd like to admit but it's because I got to experience it with you. I just felt like we were finally one, and I'd like to feel like that again. I want to be one with you once more." She said, her eyes looking at me so lovingly but I can tell there's a glint of sadness in them.
"Soon, okay? Maybe one of these days we both get lucky and mange to get a moment together." I said and she nodded at me, believing that we will get our alone time one day again. "I love you, Hanni." She said and I could feel my soul shattering a bit with the way she was looking at me.
Special moments only last for so little, and I really hated it. It wasn't fair for me or Minji. We deserved to love each other freely but we couldn't even do that. We would be forced apart by our own people if we ever dared to show them the beauty of what we had.
"I love you too, my Minji bear." I said and she let out a smile as she looked at me. "I would choose you in a every life even if it's like this in every single one of them, just to be able to have these moments with you, even if it meant that I would condone myself to being imprisoned in the burning flames of hell for it." She said, looking at me with eyes that just held as much honesty her voice did.
"Even if it meant for people to treat you so horribly? I'm not worth all of that, I can't possibly mean that much to you, Minji." I said and she shook her head at me. "You're worth dying for, Hanni. You're worth more than you can ever imagine. You're my world, Hanni. You're the air I breathe to stay alive, you're the light that brightens my life, you're the one thing on this planet that makes it worth living everyday." Tears swelled in my eyes as she spoke.
"You're so beautiful, both inside and out. How do you expect me to ever go find someone else? Who else would love me the way you do?" She asked and I could only look at her, she's trying to prove her point because she knew me, she knew that I believed I wasn't worth it, that I had no value, that I meant absolutely nothing.
"My heart and soul would look for you even down to the ruins of earth. You're my woman, Hanni. And as long as you're my woman, you have to come to terms with the fact that you're worth more than life itself, okay? I will never let you badmouth the woman I love." At this point, I was crying. I could see tears forming in her eyes as she looked at me.
"You're so perfect, Hanni. I hate hearing you bringing yourself down, bringing down the love of my life with you. Please don't do that to her, to yourself. You don't deserve to treat yourself like that, and much less does she deserve to be treated like that." She said as tears streamed down her soft skin and I could feel my heart squeezing at the sight.
I was the love of her life, such a simple sentence made everything within me burst in happiness.
I didn't deserve her, no one in this world did. But I'm going to selfishly keep her to myself. As much as a part of me hated myself, her love for me was changing it. It felt like a blooming flower, that was coming to life. Her words always managed to stir something on my view of myself. But it only made me realize even more on why I didn't deserve her.
"Minji.." she shook her head at me. "Don't you dare say it, don't you dare say you don't deserve me, because I'm the one that doesn't deserve you." She said, coming closer to me, moving the tray of food to the side, later grabbing both my hand and bringing them up to her lips, kissing my fingers gently.
"In so many eyes I'm the walking creation of the devil, and you knew that well. But did that stop you from approaching me and offering me something no one ever has?" She said, the tears in her eyes were filled with pain. I shook my head at her, she grabbed my hands and made me cup her cheeks.
"You offered me company, a friendship, and the newly found feeling of love, Hanni. How can you say you don't deserve me, when it's so clear that I don't." She said and I shook my head at her. "And if you don't want to choose me, that's more than okay, Hanni." And I felt my heart drop.
"I would completely understand if you wouldn't want to live every life time like this, hiding away and never having the time for us. Never being able to love me freely." Her eyes teared up once more and I quickly pulled her closer to me shaking my head. This is where I reassure her, because she doesn't deserve having her mind consume her completely.
"That's not what I meant, Minji. I wouldn't want you to choose living a life over and over again where you would be treated so wrongly just for loving me, Minji. I would choose living with you on every one of our life times, and that I swear with my life." I said. Minji let out a sigh as she pressed her forehead against my own.
"Loving you is the best feeling ever. And just to be able to feel the tiniest bit of it, I would choose to love you, over and over again." She said as she pressed her nose against my own.
"Because loving you is the best thing that has ever happened to me. And having you love me would be my point of existence. Just to feel your love, I would get on my knees and worship you. I would let you walk all over me just to be able to get the tiniest bit of your love." She said and I could only look at her in surprise.
"I crave your love, I crave you." She let out a shaky sigh as she spoke again. Her eyes finding mine, brown orbs drowning me completely.
"I want you to love me in every life, Hanni."
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Minji is just so sweet to her 😭🤧
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