*WARNING: SELF HARM. DON'T READ IF YOU GET TRIGGERED OR UPSET BY SH!*
(Monday, 4:00PM, LA)
I sit in the chair next to Mani's bed, holding his hand tightly. Mani opens his eyes and looks at me, smiling as tears fill his eyes. We found out 2 weeks ago that we lost one of the twins. We didn't even know Mani was carrying twins. They rushed him into hospital yesterday so that they could induce him.
Mani kisses my hand, making me sob quietly. "Oh, Cameron..." His voice trails off. "It's all my fault. If I hadn't fucking pushed past you and hit your stomach..." I say, letting go of his hands. Mani looks at me. "It's not your fault, baby. Some things aren't meant to be." He says. The door opens and Dad walks in. I stand up quickly and storm out, Mani calling after me. I exit the hospital, walking quickly.
I start to run, my heart pounding as my feet pound against the ground. I run for hours, not stopping.
(7:30PM)
I enter the house, slamming the door behind me. I run up to my room, shutting the door. I grab my sh blades, sitting on the floor. I slice at my arms, hands, legs, thighs and stomach. I feel my eyes get blurry as I start sobbing, the tears streaming down my face. My phone buzzes and I grab it, answering the call. Jamie looks at me, frowning.
"I'm at your house, my love. Is everything okay?" He says. I nod. "Y-yeah, everything's f-fine. I'll come and let you in." I say. I hang up, tossing my phone to the side. I sigh and grab a long-sleeved sweatshirt, pulling it on. I hiss as it rubs against my cuts. I run down the stairs, sprinting to the door and opening it. Jamie smiles at me. "Hey." He says, kissing me. I kiss him quickly, pulling away. Jamie frowns, pulling me upstairs by the arm. I wince. Jamie looks at me, confused. We get to my room and Jamie shuts the door. He sits me on the bed, tugging at my sweatshirt. "Take it off..." His voice trails off. I sigh, pulling it and my jeans off. Jamie gasps. "Baby..." He says. I look down, disappointed and disgusted by myself. Jamie looks at me, tears in his eyes.
"Why didn't you tell me?!" We could've gone through it together!" He cries. I grab my blade, putting it to my wrist. Jamie's eyes widen. "NO!" He shouts, grabbing the blade. It nicks my wrist. Jamie holds out his hand. I grab it, interlocking our fingers. He pulls me into the bathroom, smiling weakly. He grabs the first aid kid under my sink, opening it. He dabs antiseptic into each of the cuts, making me hiss in pain. He covers all the cuts in gash cream before bandaging them up. Jamie kisses my forehead, stroking my hair gently. He grabs my hand and pulls me back into the bedroom. We lie on the bed, falling asleep.
