Butterfly's Year

2. Night stalker

The silence reigning in my small student apartment room was interrupted by the ringing of my phone. Sleepily, I looked at the smartphone display and blinked a few times to see more clearly who was trying to reach me in the middle of the night.

On the backlit screen in the dark, the name Alexandra appeared. I quickly declined the call, hoping that the ringing phone hadn't woken up Victor, who was sleeping next to me, and muted the sound in case Alex tried to call again.

I put the device back on the nightstand and buried myself in the bedding again, trying to fall asleep.

– Who called? – Victor's sleepy voice sounded in the darkness; he had heard the ringtone after all.

– Wrong number – I replied quickly.

I preferred to keep to myself the fact that this was not the first such call, and that Alex often called under the influence of alcohol. I could imagine how violently my boyfriend might react if I told him that my would-be ex, whom Victor couldn't stand from the beginning, was calling me in the middle of the night. After all, he must have gotten bored eventually.

Victor, visibly reassured, snuggled into me and quickly fell back asleep, while I glanced once more at the phone display, where I saw yet another missed call from Alexandra and a message.

Alex: Sometimes I wonder if, if I ended my life, you would miss me even a little. Would you feel sad?

I deleted the message and the calls, then sighed quietly. I didn't want him to feel this way. When I spoke to him to tell him about me and Victor, he seemed calm and accepting of the situation.

– So, you're saying you might be in love? – Alex broke the silence that had fallen between us.

– Yes – I nodded. – It looks that way.

I no longer had any doubts that I loved Victor. In this case, it was black and white. My boyfriend didn't want Alex in our lives, and I didn't need him, so I decided to end this acquaintance without any regrets.

Vic would undoubtedly be most pleased if I never saw Alexander again, but I couldn't just cut off contact via SMS. That would have been unimaginably rude, so I told him that, whether he liked it or not, I would talk to the pilot one more time in person.

– I was afraid of this – Alex muttered, more to himself than to me. – As soon as I saw him for the first time outside your apartment that night. I didn't stand a chance against him.

Silence fell again, broken by the sound of an incoming message. I flinched and took out my phone.

Victor: Have you taken care of it yet?

I struggled to keep from rolling my eyes. Victor had to oversee everything. He even insisted on driving me to the meeting and waiting in the parking lot.

Paulina: We're talking right now.

Victor: Hurry up, babe, I miss you already.

– Are you in a hurry? – Alex' voice brought me back to reality.

– A little – I admitted, eager to leave this awkward meeting as soon as possible.

Alex gave me a forced smile in response.

– I guess we don't have anything more to say to each other – he said with a pained expression, standing up. – It was nice to meet you, Paulina. It was nice to be part of your crazy life, even for a little while.

With that, he threw on his jacket and simply walked out, not looking back at me once.

I breathed a sigh of relief. I finally had it behind me. At last, the burden of deceiving and leading on a decent, good man was lifted. He didn't deserve such treatment. He deserved an ocean of love, and although I wanted to, I couldn't give him that.