Butterfly's Year

33. Guardian

I didn't even finish my coffee. I didn't need any more information, and the prospect of spending more time with this new, transformed Manuel didn't appeal to me at all. I already knew everything I wanted to know. I still had no idea what to do with this knowledge, but at least I knew I wasn't crazy and the handwriting I saw belonged to Manuel. I wasn't one hundred percent sure he was involved in my father's death, but that letter clearly indicated that he knew about my father's passing before any of us. This knowledge made me even more reluctant to be in his company. He didn't want to hurt me or anyone who had never tried to hurt me, but that didn't change the fact that I felt very uneasy in his presence and dreamed of hiding in the depths of a safe apartment.

– An apartment where an infuriated Victor is probably waiting, an intelligence ace and graduate of extraordinary espionage – a little creature interrupted.

Exactly. Him and his control over what was happening in his and my world. This time he really went too far. How could he spy on his own girlfriend? If he had said something, it would have been one thing, but this silent lack of trust was below any criticism! The spy Karampuch found himself. God, how he annoyed me! He knew perfectly well that I hated it! If he wanted to handle this damn protection, he could have at least informed me instead of sending some guy from the land of rainforests after me.

I stormed into the apartment, ready to confront my overzealous boyfriend, but he was nowhere to be seen. So I prepared some food to have more strength for the discussion with Victor and was just finishing my meal when I heard my annoying sweetheart open the front door.

– Paula? – Victor's agitated voice came from the hallway. – Paula, are you here?

I didn't respond, still angry, but I didn't have to because he quickly found me.

– Why? – he growled as soon as he made eye contact. – Why didn't you tell me you were going somewhere with him?

I withstood his steely gaze and lazily swallowed the last bite of my salad.

– You were supposed to stop spying on me – I hissed through my teeth.

– I wasn't spying, although now I know I should have been, since you're secretly meeting with Perez – he snarled, piercing me with an accusatory look.

– I don't have to confess every meeting to you – I retorted, putting the dirty dishes in the sink instead of the dishwasher. – And I'm not meeting him, I met him once. I can meet him if I have something to discuss with him. And how do you explain knowing exactly who and where I was if you're not spying on me?

I grabbed a brand-new, unused sponge and started scrubbing the dishes with excessive enthusiasm, imagining it was his dick. I really needed to take out my anger on something so I wouldn't strangle him.

– Olivia Baar called me – he replied dryly – because she's as crazy about him as he is about you. And what could you possibly have to discuss with him, since all your business with him was settled, from what you told me in Berlin.

– It was a new matter – I muttered, scrubbing the plate with determination.

Victor raised his eyebrows and looked at me as if I had just told him I slept with Manuel for money.

– What kind? – he scoffed.

– Suspicious – I grumbled tersely, placing the plate on the drainer louder than necessary.

– Fuck, Paula! – Victor exploded so suddenly that I jumped and almost dropped the bowl I was holding. – Why do we always have to go back to square one? I worry about you, don't you get that? You mean so damn much to me? Why can't you understand that? I don't trust him at all and I don't want you seeing him. If he was capable of doing everything to get you to Berlin back then, he could just as easily do anything to get close to you now.

I wiped my hands and looked at Victor as if he were a child insisting there was a monster in his closet after watching a horror movie.

– You know what – I said in the most patient tone I could muster at the moment – I know that lately a lot of things have been happening in our lives, but I don't need to be watched twenty-four hours a day. Manuel won't do anything to me.

– When that crazy blond guy was following you, you said the same thing – Victor muttered, giving me a look that said: "You don't realize how fragile you are".

– That's completely different – I protested. – That guy had some delusional grudge against me, and Manuel is... He's not... I think he's trying to atone for his sins or something. Anyway, he definitely wouldn't want to hurt me.

Victor rolled his eyes to the ceiling, clearly struggling not to yell at me.

– Paula, I don't trust him – he said in a tone of a man barely keeping his nerves in check. – He looks at you like you're something to eat. He claims he saw me threatening Lotnik, yet he wasn't there with us. And if he was, that means he was lurking around that apartment like Lotnik. Why? Was he camping on the sidewalk? Who else could he have come to see there besides you? I have serious suspicions that he's been watching you for some time now. You need protection. No discussion.

The little creature living inside me rolled its eyes. We were going in circles, and he really had no reason to be jealous and didn't need to worry about me so much.

– Vic, I really don't care for Manuel – I said patiently. – And meeting him for coffee gossip is the last thing I'd want to do, but sometimes there are situations where you have to... – I trailed off, searching for the right words to gently convey to my sweetheart what was troubling me about the letter allegedly written by my father.

– What? – Vic prompted.

I frantically searched my mind for a way to tell him, but I still didn't know how.

– I had to talk to him and clear something up.

– What?

– My father's death – I finally said.