Butterfly's Year

28. Cocoa

I turned to him, my heart pounding like crazy in my chest, and when I saw it was just him, I leaned against the kitchen counter, relieved, and nodded.

I waited for the additional portion of milk to heat up, poured a generous amount of cocoa into each mug, added a big spoonful of honey, and then sat next to Victor on the stool by the kitchen island.

– I can't sleep – I muttered, stirring the sweet mixture with a spoon.

Victor took a solid sip of cocoa and carefully licked his lips.

– I know, sweetheart – he replied quietly, putting his mug back on the counter. – I tried to find out something, but there wasn't much more we could do... We just have to hope it's not as bad as we think. Maybe she just met someone...

I glanced at him skeptically, and from his expression, I could see he didn't believe it himself.

– Who? – I muttered glumly. – She doesn't spend the night with barely known people. It's not her style.

Victor didn't reply. He carefully hugged me, and I nestled into his chest. It didn't help, but at least I didn't have to battle my thoughts alone.

– I'm a danger to myself and everyone around me – I mumbled aloud what had been on my mind for so long.

I felt Victor tilt his chin, probably to look at me, but I didn't lift my gaze.

– That's not true – he murmured in a low, pleasant voice that would have melted me instantly under different circumstances. – Don't say that.

He stroked my shoulder tenderly, but I barely felt it, lost in despair.

– What else would you call it? – I asked in a hoarse voice, feeling a lump growing in my throat. – If I hadn't been messing with him then, nothing would have happened to anyone. The car would be untouched in the parking lot, and Julia... – I trailed off as the lump grew so big I couldn't make another sound.

Victor immediately pulled me closer and started stroking my back even more intensely. Tears finally flowed from my eyes, and a powerful wave of sobs shook my body. The world shrank to the space within my lover's arms and stayed that way until I managed to calm down to just light sobbing.

– A car is just a thing that can be replaced, and Julia surely just stopped somewhere and will come back – he said soothingly when my sniffling was a bit quieter than before. – It's not your fault. Besides, that guy is dead. It's not him.

I finally looked at him and tried to give him a grateful smile through my tears for being with me, but it came out as a crooked grimace. It didn't discourage him, as he smiled at me very gently in response and then kissed me carefully on the top of my head.

– It'll be okay, sweetie. No one would hurt your sister.

I looked deep into his eyes, and, drawn by some unknown magnetic force, I brought my face closer to his. I carefully placed a kiss on his lips. He didn't respond immediately, but after a few attempts from me, he parted his lips and let me begin the dance of our tongues, and the longer it lasted, the more I wanted more and more.

Again, like that time when we returned from my father's house, where the police had just taken him down from the chandelier, I needed his closeness. I wanted to feel him beside me and within me. To have him fill me and occupy all my thoughts. To shrink the world to the size of a section of the kitchen counter our entwined bodies touched.

I reached for the tie of his bathrobe and, with frantic movements, first removed his fluffy garment, then mine. I placed his hands on my breasts and pressed them so he'd know how much I wanted it. I rhythmically kneaded my breasts with him until he took the initiative.

Between his greedy kisses, I let him throw me onto the kitchen counter. I spread my legs wide, inviting him in. I clawed at his back with my fingers and clung to him as tightly as I could. I accepted each of his thrusts and didn't want it to end. My body screamed for more and more, and I surrendered to that desire, spreading my thighs as wide as possible.

– I can't hold on any longer – Victor panted into my cleavage as I tilted my head back, lost in ecstatic pleasure. – I'm about to come.

Reluctantly, I let him pull away from me. I quickly jumped to the floor and knelt before my lover, opening my mouth wide. I didn't take my eyes off his beloved face. The familiar, bitter taste spread across my mouth. I licked it off my lower lip, and the stream that trickled down my chin, I gathered with my index finger.

Meanwhile, Victor didn't waste any time. He sat me back on the counter and wrapped my arms around his neck.

– Hold on to me tight – he commanded.

Without hesitation, I followed his order.

He carried me to the couch and sat me down on it, then knelt and nestled between my thighs.

– You're tired – I said, catching his heavy-lidded gaze, which clearly showed that his brain had already considered his male duty fulfilled and was signaling him to lie down and regenerate.

However, Victor shook his head and smiled warmly at me.

– I want to give you pleasure, sweetheart – he whispered, sending me a still-darkened look of arousal. – Don't think about anything tonight. Just feel this pleasure and forget everything.

He didn't say anything more and dove between my thighs, and I didn't intend to stop him. I let him take over all my femininity and focused only on the increasing tension accumulating between my legs.

The long-awaited orgasm exploded within me with doubled intensity. I writhed in convulsions of pleasure, and he didn't stop. He slid his fingers into me and began to tickle them from the inside, enhancing the pleasurable sensations. I reached my hands down to signal that I was already satisfied, but he continued to slide his tongue over my pussy and circle his fingers faster inside me.

Another wave of orgasm caught me off guard, and then another and another. I placed my hands on his short hair and pressed his head to my loins, melting inside like foam dropped into hot cocoa. The chain of wonderful sensations continued unbroken until I finally had to push him away, unable to scream or tense my muscles any longer.

I slid off the couch to the floor and clung to my lover's hot body.

– I love you – I mumbled into his chest. – I know it wasn't the right moment, but I love you, and your closeness helps me a lot.

Vic tightened the embrace we were entangled in a little more, making me believe he didn't think the sex was out of place at that moment.

– Don't worry about the moment – he whispered, reinforcing my conviction. – Any moment is good for love. Even the darkest one.

We sat like that for several more minutes, then Victor carefully untangled himself from my embrace. He settled me on the couch, then lay down on it himself and gestured for me to do the same.

I glanced at the kitchen counter, where two mugs of barely touched cocoa stood, but the milk was probably cold by now, and I didn't feel like reheating it. I might as well lie on this couch in Victor's warm embrace until morning.

So, I slid into his strong arms and curled up into a ball under the blanket he covered us with. Victor reached for the TV remote on the couch's armrest and turned on a movie, which was actually a fantastic idea because the silence that enveloped the entire apartment, combined with the awareness that somewhere out there in the sleeping city or beyond it was my sister with an unknown person, was deadly.

Vic fell asleep quickly, but I, though no longer plagued by the frantic rush of thoughts, still didn't feel sleepy. I stared mindlessly at the scenes of Harry Potter until I finally managed to drift into a restless sleep.