Butterfly's Year

54. Nowhere is safe

We never found out who was behind the attempt on my life. My would-be tormentor kept his mouth shut and didn't say a word that might have led anyone to his boss. I suspected that Victor knew, for as soon as he heard of the whole affair, he rushed to London and spoke of this unknown man as if he knew him well. But he told me nothing concrete, and the more I tried to find out the identity of the man who wanted to harm his love and now me, the more Wik closed himself off.

When we returned to Warsaw, Wiktor hardly stayed at home during the day. He would get up early, come home late, and when he got to the flat he would often sit sleepily in his study and spend a little time with me, which was usually limited to a quick number before going to bed and wrapping his arms around me until I fell asleep.

Actually, I didn't always fall asleep, but I didn't let on when he thought I was asleep and slipped quietly out of bed. I would watch him go to the window and stare out into space, or listen for the footsteps that announced his return to the bedroom, as he went out into the corridor and disappeared into the depths of the suite, or moved about for no apparent reason. Sometimes he would return more quickly, spreading an intense smell of tobacco smoke around him, which confirmed my suspicion that he was worried about something, and a lot.

One day, when I returned to the now-empty apartment with my two bodyguards, thirsting for my lover's touch more than the dry ground of the rain, I was pleasantly surprised to find a note on the bed, scented with his perfume and printed with an inscription.

A surprise awaits you in the bathroom.

Intrigued, I immediately made my way to the room next door and even before I opened the door I could smell the aromatic scent of lavender and rose.

As I stepped over the threshold, my eyes were met with the sight of a bathtub filled with hot water and an enormous amount of foam. On the side of the tub was another piece of paper.

I stepped out for a moment. Get into the bath and wait for me there. I'll be right back and I'm all yours.

So, excited about what was going to happen next, I lay down in the bath and waited.

I have no idea exactly when I fell asleep. I just remembered that the wait was getting longer and the hot water was getting colder.

It was only Viktor's nervous voice that jolted me out of my slumber.

– Paulina, is something wrong? – he called in a slightly hysterical voice, shaking my shoulder vigorously. – Wake up. What happened?

I blinked several times, confused by this sudden awakening. The water in the bath was almost cold and the foam had almost disappeared.

– I think I fell asleep in the bath – I mumbled incoherently, not understanding his excitement.

Victor looked around the bathroom nervously, as if searching for something, and then he looked at me with such terror in his eyes that I froze, even though I still had no idea what was going on.

– Fuck, someone's been here! – he shouted, frightened beyond belief. – Someone was here while you were in the bath. He slept off the protection with something and walked around the flat, or I don't know what else he was doing.... – He cast a terrified glance at my naked body and swallowed his saliva nervously. – Did you hear anything?

–  N-no... – I opened my mouth in shock, lost in the flood of information. – I lay in the hot water, waiting for you, as you wrote in the note, and then .... I fell asleep.

Victor made a face as if someone had punched him in the face.

– What note? – he asked, his eyes searching every inch of my face.

– Well... this one – I muttered, looking around for the note I had seen earlier, but it was nowhere to be found.

– There was a note from you – I explained confusedly, still searching my eyes, hoping that the tiny piece of paper that had been on the bathtub before I fell asleep had just been misplaced somewhere, but all the signs were that the note was nowhere to be found. – And another on the bed. A bath had been prepared. You wrote for me to get into the bath, to wait, and when you came back you would be all mine.

Victor looked at me again in undisguised horror.

– When was that? – He asked, pale as a wall.

– When I came back from class... – I replied hesitantly, trying to count how much time had passed.

My lover seemed to be sinking into himself. He retreated a few centimetres, then sat down on his knees by the bathtub and looked at me with the eyes of a wild animal driven into a corner.

– Fuck me, I can't take it – he moaned helplessly, burying his face in his hands. – I can't take it anymore... I can't. I can't protect you from him.

He looked like a castaway who had been tossed ashore by the sea after days of drifting in its depths without fresh water, and the truest tears welled up in his eyes.

– From whom? – I asked with a mixture of concern and trepidation in my voice, completely helpless in the face of his sudden collapse. – Victor, what is going on? Who are you protecting me from? Who wants to kill me? Who wants to hurt you?

He didn't answer and I looked at him, feeling fear and pity at the same time. My brave Victor, my happiness and my love, was sitting on the floor next to me, looking as helpless as a motherless baby. I had no idea what to do, for the fear that was in him was almost instantly transferred to me, wreaking complete havoc in my head and taking away my ability to think logically.

So we sat there in silence for a few minutes, until Victor must have calmed down a little, because he grunted and sat up a little, and when he looked at me, there wasn't a single tear in his eyes.

– The water's cold already – he announced in a matter-of-fact tone as he stood up. – Come to me. I will warm you up.

He grabbed a towel lying on the edge of the tub and stretched his arms out towards me.

Cold from lying in the cool water, I gratefully accepted his offer, but I wasn't about to let the matter drop.

– Victor, don't run away from the subject – I said as he carried me in his arms to the bed. –  Talk to me. What commitment have you broken that now someone wants me dead?

I tried to make eye contact with him, but he just sighed softly and buried his face in my damp hair.

– Paulina, if it were that simple, I would have told you – he whispered in a tired voice as he laid me down on the soft bedding. – The problem is...

He hesitated, as if wondering if he wanted to tell me more.

– What? – I pressed him when he hadn't said anything for a long time.

I finally managed to make eye contact with him and I could see a kind of struggle in his brown eyes, but eventually the hot chocolate hardened and my darling made that grim face I knew so well.

– That doesn't make any sense– he muttered dryly. – Get dressed. Don't go out anywhere. I'll try to get back as soon as I can.

With that, he kissed me on the top of the head, then left the bedroom, and from the sound of the front door closing, I assumed he had left the flat as well.

So I sank back against the pillows and stared at the ceiling until I fell asleep.