Butterfly's Year

60. The final end

Victor finally put me down, and I remembered what had dulled my instinct for self-preservation and made me come here with Manuel.

Victor and I are no longer together. We are two people with a shared past and a separate future. Or maybe not. If it's all because of Manuel, then maybe...

I quickly pushed the thought away, not wanting to get my hopes up. As long as he didn't say anything, I couldn't take anything for granted, lest I suffer even more later.

So I stood like a peg in the ground and waited while he positioned me with my front facing him and brushed my hair away from my face.

– Paulina, I... – he began incoherently, driving a look of fear and relief into my eyes.

I waited for him to say more, but he fell silent as if it was very difficult for him to speak in this situation.

I had no idea what to do in this situation. Everything seemed to have been cleared up, but I wasn't 100% sure that he hadn't meant something else earlier. Perhaps he was referring to my past, which he had clung to before in his threatening monologue?

My heart burned with despair and longing, like the house behind us. He had come to me. He had come here. He had saved my life, and now he stood before me and spoke to me. He was here. He was still here, so it couldn't just end. Why didn't he say that? Why was he still silent?

The little creature that lived inside me stretched her frail arms towards him. Her eyes were glazed over with tears, she tried to stand on her legs, which were shaking with despair and fear, but nothing came out, and I tried with all my willpower not to fall apart and to hold on until I was sure that this was all just a big mistake.

– How did you find me? – I cough out the first question that came to mind to break the silence between us, to get my mind off the roar of the fire raging behind my back.

– After the location of your phone – he admitted, a little embarrassed, but in this situation, I was so grateful for his rescue that it didn't even occur to me to resent his spying. – I returned to the flat and found all your belongings untouched, which seemed suspicious to me. And it was obvious that he had been involved even before I arrived. Manuel blackmailed me that if I didn't break up with you... – He paused and looked at me so meaningfully that he didn't have to finish. – I called Rafa, and we sorted things out together. He'll probably be here soon. This is his house, after all. And a fire like this is a great loss.

I groaned mentally because being in his company in this situation was beginning to get beyond me. Why was he telling me about Rafael and his material losses now? I felt like I was falling apart, and it was only a matter of time before I burst into tears or lost all feeling in my legs and fell motionless on the damp grass beneath my feet. Why couldn't he say that it was all a misunderstanding, and now that I knew everything and Manuel would be taken care of by the proper medical or funeral services, everything could return to normal?

I could tell by the look on his face that something was bothering him, but I didn't have the strength to pull at his tongue. I just wanted him to shout it out and come home with me.

His phone rang, but he just looked at the screen and rejected the call, then looked straight into my eyes again.

– Why did you go with him? – he finally asked, and I realized why he was so confused.

He probably thought I'd swapped him for Manuel or something.

– I didn't want to – I replied immediately so that he would have no doubt that this trip had nothing to do with feelings. – I just found it hard to think, and he said he would take me to Rafael's. I thought maybe I would stop thinking for a while, and somehow, it worked. I guess I wasn't thinking completely sober. Sorry.