Poem Book | A Journey With a Shy Soul

Paladin

Aliferous, my feathers grew
Querencia, in the mother's room
I shall mature through correction and tame
Looking forth to befriend the lame

Wisdom and knowledge is given and sought after
Munificence is taught faster
With how I've grown, one principle I've known
To pass what's true— an example shown

Thus a desire to rise just to love
Love as fire like redamancy's laughter
How my heart sings one song
To mature, eunoia, selcouth my joy

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*Wordbank
Paladin - A determined advocate or defender of a noble cause.
Aliferous - Having wings
Querencia (ker-ren-sha) - This is a spanish word meaning  "a sanctuary where you feel safe".
Munificence - The quality of being very generous
Redamancy - The act of loving someone who loves you back, a love returned full
Eunoia (eh-yu-no-yah) - Beautiful thought or the act of trying to foster feelings of kindness and trust either within a group or a relationship between spouses.
Selcouth - Unusual, strange, and rare

This poem talks about the willingness to mature and to know better not for personal gain, but to feel love towards another human being. This woman who is speaking wants to feel older in a gentle sense and wants to know more than her counterpart, to feel like she can have someone to cover under her wings. It can be within a relationship— but it does not need to be romantic and can be any connection between two people, including friendships.

This is likely connected with me and my sudden desire to act older towards another, not just to teach the things I know, but to give joy and the feeling of gentleness within a healthy friendship. I want to have a deep connection with someone younger than me but there is none. However, I am still slightly passionate about it, and through this poem, I express how being above someone in terms of knowing more things than them can also introduce a new type of love. That love is gentle and pure-hearted, unconditional, and wanting to nurture a connection.

Though you don't necessarily need to teach one everything you know and to be deep all the time, you can still have this profound redamancy through simply providing joy to another. By spending quality time, playing innocent tea parties with a child, I could already feel this new feeling through my thoughts and imagination alone.

*Meanings

[First stanza, first verse]
This shows the beginning of growing up. As I collect knowledge and experience on my way, I believe that I am still a novice in understanding the world around me. Because I am growing and entering a new stage of life, I know that there will come a time where I must be exposed from time to time in order to grow. I look at other people in my age group and see that they already have some experiences that I don't have, and that makes me wish that I could have had a different way of going about life to be much more prepared earlier.

However, I realized that we all develop at our own pace. I was given knowledge and was guided differently to have a better understanding of how things worked, before being put out. It is time to grow my own wings after knowing and learning for a long time.

[First stanza, second verse]
This shows the safety of being kept shielded from the world. My life was different, it was always protected and I never had too many problems, unlike most pre-teens or teenagers. I had no bullies, everyone was a friend— even if they were rude at first. However, I was unaware of the problems and studied them in a nurturing environment. I was allowed to see how the outside world is, but I was always protected from something that could potentially destroy me for a very long time. Yes, I of course had problems, but probably not the same as the other people in my age group.

When many people hear this, they think my mother is overprotective. Actually, it's the love and grace of my Heavenly Father who guides me to the path He wants. I think He doesn't let other things happen because it won't help me grow, and the problems I will have are for development.

[Second stanza, second verse]
Wisdom begins with the fear of the Lord. I asked for wisdom once, and the Lord gave generously. I was taught many things that I should hold with great value. I should learn to also be generous in the blessings He gave me and I should share them with others. It doesn't have to be through work all the time but rather experiences they'd remember as they grow older. It can be through bonding time and strengthening relationships, then growth begins from there.

[Second stanza, last verse]
Paladins are warriors whose job is to stand up for justice and remove evil from all around them. These warriors are often used in fantasy and literature but also have historical roots. In this poem however, it is used in the title to show that if you know the truth and what is right, you should not be afraid to stand up for it. Sometimes others will not notice your work or not know who you are (the word paladin is quite rare), but you do it because it is right.

Many people don't know the importance of relationships and connections with others— how greatly they can influence the other person and how much potential one can hold. Very few people truly know these things, so if you know it, it is important to stand up for it.

[Last stanza, last verse]
I know that not everyone is like me, so I would like to share my thoughts with the world. Yes, I know that most people might think I'm strange and unusual since it's not often for someone to express or feel this way towards others. Yet I know that this is another step for me in growing in some aspect and I am ready to see that.

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