Poem Book | A Journey With a Shy Soul

Blue Chrysalis

So gentle the color
So exotic the fire
Much in change of pink
Yet, I could only sit and think

When blue fails to lead, pink takes the leap
When it fails in quantity, I ration and make
Of dolls with twine look nothing like swine
The most beautiful creations my hands has built

Artificial it may be but because of the world I've seen
Like zombies drained of the color, like umbrellas torn
I did what I can, I mended and made again
But it could never reach its full color

So while it is little, it will still be there
I mixed with what is in abundance
And there I had it, purple at last

Still so different, still so unique
It's unlike the two sides I've seen
But at the same time it glows from the rain

I can't do things fully
My abilities test their limits
But still, I do my best to bring it to life
For them to catch a breath during the rife

-----------

I don't feel so confident about this one, but I want to practice being bold and saying my opinion about things. I mean, if others can, why can't I?

This poem is about boys and the male characters I made. Blue is for boys and pink is for girls- the basics, right? I am a girl and for this poem, I am pink. I am very happy being a girl, so my entire body is pink. I live in a family where there are more girls than boys, and that makes me sad because no I don't know some ways in a few areas in life too well. My imagination is big and many characters are like my children. They want to be what they were made to be and find out their original personalities, but its hard for me when I don't know what real and good men are like when there are very little examples presented. There is a big difference between both genders and I need to find them out, I want the best for my work.

It's complicated to explain my views on this in an easy way for others to understand, I'm sorry. Maybe you can still get it even with the struggle?

*Meanings

[First stanza, second verse]
Because there is a lack of blue in my life, I consider it precious when I find something that's worth it. I am happy when I find the type that truly shows how valuable it is. Although, sometimes I can also find those tiny discoveries and sparks of knowledge simply by venturing in my thoughts, like in the last verse.

[Second stanza, third verse]
The words sound rude, but it's true. If you give your pearls to the swine they will crush them and make them dirty. My characters are dolls for me to play with, but I put value in them. So even when they are not real, they will still show the value I have/put in them when they tell their stories. They make me happy because of that, and it's like the love I laid in them is reflecting back at me.

[Third stanza, second verse]
Most loose their value while being caught up by the waves of influence and internet. They don't realize how important their identity was before it was shoved deep down as they continue to absorb opinions and rubbish- male or female alike. Identity isn't just important for one's self, but also for others. When you loose that part of you that keeps you human, that keeps you caring and thoughtful, you also put others in danger.
Mom said, we have different attributes and roles in each gender. There is a natural thing about men, they wish to protect and lead for a better future. They have potential too, it is like an umbrella for the family and community. But because of the times today, most have their umbrella torn and worn out. It is either because of influence and because no one guided the, or because no one listened and shoved them away.

[Fifth stanza, second verse]
The two sides don't really represent the girl and boy sides, as it is are made from both. It talks about the experiences I have from both my imagination and from the physical world. It's like they joined together to form that purple that I talked about- by birthing these characters from pure imagination, but still try to make them realistic.
~(do you understand me?)

[Fifth stanza, third/last verse]
Rain is a representation of sadness, right? When I get sad because I sometimes think of things that make me think I didn't do well enough, I get reminded in the end that they are enough. My characters are already happy that I did my best to make them as realistic and as much as I can, so why am I still crying? They shine, they make me realize that there are more sides to creativity that others haven't seen yet. And that brings joy to me.

----------