Leaving my heart with you

Ch:10 Don't let me go

Ishan's pov:

Standing near the hotel reception, I exchange final goodbyes with our teammates, but my gaze keeps drifting back to Shubman.
As I stand here, suitcase in hand, the weight of Shubman's words still lingering heavy in the air around me.

"Go away from me," he said, his voice cutting through my heart like a knife.
"You are free." Each syllable etched itself into my heart.

Deep down, I know Shubman didn't mean those words. Yet, the wounds left behind by his words cut deeper than any physical pain. It's as if he's afraid to confront the tangled mess of emotions between us, preferring to push me away rather than face the truth.

So, i'm going to let him go, hoping that in my absence, he'll find the courage to untangle the knots within himself.

Perhaps then, my Shubman will return to me, whole once more.
But for now, all I can do is stand here, alone with my shattered heart, pretending not to notice the tears staining my cheeks.

_______

Shubman's pov:

As Rohit bhaiya stands before me, speaking words I can't seem to hear, my attention remains fixed on Ishan. His demeanor, once lively and bright, now shrouded in gloom, his tears falling like silent raindrops. He doesn't even notice my gaze, consumed by his own sorrow.

I know he's crying because of me, and the weight of that realization weighs heavy on my heart. But in my own turmoil, I can only hope that he'll come to understand, to see beyond the harshness of my words.

I never mean those words Ishan.
I just want you to go, to disappear into the distance, far away from the impending reality of
'My marriage tomorrow.'
The thought of seeing his face on such a day fills me with a sadness I can hardly bear.

Emotions swirl within me, trapped and suffocated by the weight of his 'Sachin Sir's' authority. I feel vulnerable, stripped of my autonomy, unable to muster even a whisper of protest against this forced union.

The thought of the impending marriage leaves me numb, my mind recoiling from the reality of it all, casting a pall over my existence. It's as if the very essence of who I am has been diminished, my spirit dulled by the inevitability of a fate I cannot escape.

Yet, amidst the desolation, one thought pierces through the fog of resignation: Ishan.

......

My thoughts were interrupted by Ro bhaiya.
I turned to look at him, Rohit bhaiya's gaze beckons me to focus ahead, I turn obediently, only to find Ishan standing directly in my line of sight.
His eyes, like windows to his soul, plead with me, 'don't go.'

"I'm sorry," I whisper into the void, my words lost in the cacophony of emotions swirling around us.
In that moment, I am acutely aware of the magnitude of my failure, of how I've let down the one I love most.

Before we can exchange another word, Surya bhaiya intervenes, pulling Ishan away with him. Yet, despite the physical distance that separates us, our eyes remain locked in an unbreakable bond, each desperately clinging to the other, unwilling to let go.

In that fleeting moment, amidst the chaos, all I can silently plead is,
"Please don't let me go, Ishan."

"Please don't let me go, Shubman"

Ishan's pov:

Each step we take away from the hotel feels like a step closer to our separate destinies.

______

Flashback:

"Rohit bhaiya, please, could you just send Ishan away? You understand why I need this, right?"

"I know he'll be upset that he won't get the chance to play T20, but please, this is for his own good," Shubman implored, his voice tinged with a sense of urgency.

"I don't want him to find out about my wedding now. I dont want to face him, I can't bear to see him at my own wedding," Shubman confessed, his gaze fixed on the ground.

"What's happening with you guys? I'm sorry, Shubman. I couldn't do anything for you," Rohit bhaiya expressed, his tone filled with sympathy.

"I'll send him away. It's the least I can do," Rohit bhaiya assured.

"Thank you, bhaiya," Shubman responded gratefully, a sense of relief washing over him.

Flashback ends

Author:

Shubman had to orchestrate a charade, pretending that he was bound for Punjab, all to ensure Ishan's departure from Mumbai.
In reality, though, Shubman would remain in Mumbai, his fate dictated by Sachin Sir's ironclad orders.
His marriage being held in Mumbai, under Sachin's watchful eye, filled Shubman with a sense of suffocation.

Sachin agreed to Shubman's condition, a fragile lifeline in a sea of constraints. The stipulation: no word of the upcoming marriage should reach the media for at least few days.

Shubman was resolute that Ishan shouldn't hear about the news of the marriage through any other means.
He warned all his teammates to maintain secrecy and prevent Ishan from becoming suspicious.
Understanding the potential impact on Ishan, Shubman was determined to personally break the news to him, giving Ishan the space to process it himself.

It was a small victory, a fleeting semblance of control in a life dictated by others' whims. Yet, even in this moment of supposed triumph, Shubman couldn't shake the feeling of being tethered, a puppet dancing to the strings of Sachin and Sara's desires.

To the outside world, Shubman may seem unaffected, his stoic façade masking the turmoil within.

But little do they know of the demons he battles each day, seeking solace at the bottom of a bottle.

He drinks to drown out the cacophony of his thoughts, to silence the doubts and fears that gnaw at his soul. In his mind, every sip brings him closer to Ishan, prolonging their fleeting moments together in a haze of alcohol-induced bliss.

Shubman knows deep down that this fleeting respite comes at a cost. Each drink brings him closer to the edge, teetering on the precipice of self-destruction. But for the chance to hold onto Ishan, if only in his intoxicated fantasies, he is willing to pay any price.

"Agar mere tabahi ki wajh tu ho to tabah hone me kysi sharam"