All for what? -A Finnick Odair x OC fic

Two

One Year Later - The morning of the 66th Annual Hunger Games Reaping

"DON'T!"

    The shout startles me awake. I sit up quickly and notice instantly that Finnick is thrashing around under the covers, his sleep overtaken by nightmares again. Finnick came home different, the boy who was once my rock, needs me to be his most nights. His victory from the games, cost him so much. 

  My hand presses against Finnick's cheek, but before I can speak his hand wraps around my wrist harshly. His eyes snap open, bright sea green meeting my pale blue eyes. The look of fear and anger flashes across his face, but soften as his eyes focus on mine. His grip loosens and he now looks fearful in a whole new way. His eyes widen, "Ivy, did I hurt you?"

  "No-" But as I begin to speak I feel the aching from my wrist, it is reddening already. In the moment I hadn't felt how hard he had grabbed my arm, but neither did he really. Finnick's nightmares are full of memories from the games, his fight or flight never quite turning off. 

  "Oh God, Ivy I'm sorry, I-"

   His voice trails off as I pull him into me, holding his head as if he's a small wounded child, which in some ways he is just that.  His body trembles in my arms, I brush his hair back lightly. After a while he calms down, tears trickle down my cheeks, but not from any pain I am in, for the pain I am seeing in him. 

   

   Finnick's nightmares worsened after his victory tour. For the first few weeks after he returned he claimed it was because he missed me, then it was because he carried guilt for missing my birthday, but the truth eventually came out. Finnick is beautiful to many more eyes than my own. The capital fell in love with his beauty and President Snow decided he wanted to capitalize on that. He came to Finnick with an idea, "special visits" to the capital, in which Finnick would be sold to citizens for them to do as they please. The very thought makes my skin crawl and Finnick said no. Snow didn't like the idea of anyone disobeying him, so he warned Finnick 'You'' regret it Mr. Odair and your little vine too."

   That 'little vine' being me, Ivy. Finnick believes it means I will be reaped today. That Snow rigged the reaping and mine is the only one that resides inside of that bowl. I can't say that I disagree, knowing how horrific the President can be, I doubt nothing. However I don't let Finn know this, instead I shrug it off, insisting he wouldn't dare tamper with the reaping.   

  

    This year I get ready at Finnick's house, where I spend most nights. The victor's are all given a home, regardless of age, he is now his own person in the eyes of the district. My father doesn't question me being gone most nights, when he is even sober enough to remember I am there at all. 

  As I pull on the same dress from last year, I take note that I will need a new one next year. I have grown a few inches and filled out in the past year. I look at Finnick, as he buttons his shirt I notice how much he too has changed. He is taller and more muscular, his boyish looks are disappearing. 

  During Finnick's games I watched him change. The weeks went by and he gained more muscle than I would have imagined, while loosing the childhood weight. I am not ready to say goodbye to him for the weeks to come, but more than that I am not ready to say a final goodbye if my name is drawn. 

  We got lucky once, Finnick came back home to me. We will not get lucky again so soon. It is nearly unheard of for two from the same district to win back to back. 

  "Are you ready?" Finnick asks from the kitchen.

  I flash a weary smile and make my way to him. Our fingers intertwine and we walk out the door, making our way to the much too close town square. "I love you Ivy," Finnick says to me just as we must part ways. 

  "I love you Finny," I squeeze our fingers together one last time and we separate once again. 

   I have my finger pricked, get checked in, then stand among the other fourteen year old girls. The same video that plays each year flashes on the screen and the victors stand under the screen. Maggs, an older lady who won the eleventh games, and Finnick. 

Ollie Hope says words that don't quite make their way to my ears and as he begins walking to the bowl with the girls names inside, I watch Finnick's face flinch more than my own. Ollie is back at the mic before I pull my eyes from Finnick and as he speaks all of the air escapes my lungs, "Juniper Lee."

It is not me.

I am not going into the games.

Snow was bluffing.

   Although I am not able to tell Finnick goodbye, I am jittery as I return home. Snow had been bluffing, he didn't rig the reaping. I pass Victor's village and head to the shore, where my father is likely slumped over the table by this time of day. 

   As I approach my house, I notice the door open at a slight angle. My brow furrows, "Dad?"

  I continue to the house, noticing the lights are still off, "Dad? It's Ivy."

  No answer. I make my way down the hall, but my father's bed is empty. I turn back, and that's when I glance into my own bedroom. My father lays face down on the floor, even as I rush to him I know he is gone. The cool touch at my fingertips when I check for his pulse confirms my fears. 

I shake him, but there is no movement. "Dad, please," I cry, "Please."

  I begin to cry heavily, sobbing over the body of my father. I fall back, running to the only place I know to go. When I reach Finnick's mother's house, I run straight inside, not caring how rude it would be. However, I wish I didn't. 

  Angela Odair laid face down in her kitchen, deep red flowing out the sides of her mouth. I place my hand on her neck, waiting to hear a pulse, but even though her skin as not yet grew cold, she was already gone. 

This is what he meant, this was Finnick's punishment for daring to say no.