All for what? -A Finnick Odair x OC fic

Thirteen

Seven years later - One month after the Victory Tour of the 74th Annual Hunger Games

TW--The later part of this chapter contains mentions of sexual assault, abuse, and violence, Please read with caution. There will be no in depth details, but as always if you feel like you need to skip any parts feel free to message me or leave a comment, I will explain the rest of the chapter to you :)) -Carlz

Finnick wraps his arms around me as I hum in the kitchen, our bodies swaying to the sound of my tune. A kiss is placed on my neck and I smile softly, turning to face Finnick. His arms spin me, as he pressed his body to mine. These moments are perfect. Not all of our time is, with both of us still suffering from our past games, the trips to the capital, mentoring. One tribute from our district has won since my games, Annie Cresta, she won the 70th games at the cost of her sanity. Poor Annie has not been the same since.

Finnick and I have both been living in his house, though I still have one a few doors down. I only sleep well when he is around and I know things are the same with him. Even during our trips to the capital, as long as we do exactly what Snow wants us to without complaints, we are given a room together once morning comes, to be together once more.

I am pulled from my thoughts when the Tv flashes and Snow comes on the screen, its time for them to announce the rule for the third Quarter Quill. The first had people of the districts vote on who would go into the games, the second had twice the number of tributes. Finnick walks with me closer to the screen, his arms never leave my side.

"Wouldn't it be ironic if it placed two tributes as winners?" I ask. Remembering last year, when the star crossed lovers from District Twelve won the games together. It is no secret that Snow is angry about it. The lead Game maker from last year was found dead under mysterious circumstances.

Finnick snorts out a laugh, "Please, Snow might actually implode."

I join Finnick, giggling at the sick joke. I watch as Snow reads the paper, similar to the way Ollie Hope does on each reaping day, "-will be reaped from the existing pool of Victors!"

He finishes the sentence and I laugh again, I actually laugh. "You're fucking kidding me?"

"Ivy-"

"No, no, seriously," I am still laughing, but I know I shouldn't be, "I survived the games, I survived the victory tour, I survived-" I pause, "I'll die in the games afterall."

Finnick holds my shoulders, looking right into my eyes, "You won't have to go back in, there's others- there's-"

"Who?" I am no longer laughing, "Maggs? Annie?" I raise my hand, holding his cheek lightly, "It'll be me, Finn. Me and you."

He doesn't speak, but nods his head. He turns, smashing his fist into the counter top we leaned against moments ago, before the world ended. I step back, the smashing sound startling me. I bump into the chair and stumble. Finnick spins back, facing me, he holds his right hand close to his body, cradling it. His anger filled eyes soften when they see me, I'm sure fear is all over my face. I have never seen him this angry. "I'm going to talk to Maggs and check up on Annie."

"Okay," I respond softly.

Maggs came through the door a few minutes later. She walked straight over and knocked the glass of red wine I had been gifted the last time I was in the capital out of my hands. My intentions had been to leave it in the bottle forever, or maybe if Finnick and I ever decided to get married, but today seemed special enough.

She shakes her head at me with a look on her face unlike any I'd seen in years. The last time she looked this upset it was when I was reaped for the 67th Games. She knew how much I meant to Finnick then and she knows now too.

I reach for the notepad we keep next to the couch, sliding it towards Maggs with the pen. She lost the rest of her ability to talk within the past year, but I can tell she would be yelling at me if she could.

She writes on the paper and I give my answers.

-Where is Finn?

I read the paper as she turns it to me, "Went to talk to you and Annie, probably blowing off steam somewhere that wont leave holes in the counters," I point behind her.

She looks to the counter, frowning.

-Thought you quit?

I roll my eyes, "I did."

-I'll go

She didn't even have to finish the word "go" before I pushed the pen down from her hand. "You will not!"

She nods.

-Thought you would say that

"It's such bullshit you know?" I ask as if it is a question, although I am just wanting to tell someone how I am feeling, "They put us through the games, sell us for the weekend like were pieces of fucking meat, allow people to do anything they want, and-" I throw the glass that rests on the small table, "I cant kill myself but of course Snow fucking can!"

I fall to my knees, punching the floor hard. Maggs grabs my elbows, rubbing circles while standing behind me. She comforts me, allows me to sit on the floor and cry, and then helps me to bed. She points at Finnick's side of the bed, the to her own heart, then outside. I know she means she will be looking for him. I give her a light nod and close my eyes.

Three Years Ago

Haymitch Abernathy is the best and worst person I have ever met. On one hand he is one of the only victors who I can stand to be around or who can stand to be around me over the past five years, on the other he enables me drinking my life away. The 72nd Hunger Games began weeks ago and are still going strong, both of the tributes I mentored died in the bloodbath, along with the two Haymitch mentored. We are on the roof, drinking and keeping eachother company.

This has became a comfortable routine for us. Haymitch has no other victors to trade out with and rotate years, he is here each year. Finnick and I are forced to come each year, along with every other chance Snow has to bring us here. Finnick makes friends easier than I, he surrounds himself with other victors and learns everything about everyone. Finnick made friends with Johanna Mason, the victor from last years games, District Seven.

Johanna was nice to me, but being around her felt tense. Finnick and I have done our own thing and met back up around dinner each evening. The weeks have went on, seven to be exact, these games are going longer than everyone has expected.

    Tonight I need a few hours alone. I just finished one of the various appointments Snow has been setting up for Finnick and I over these weeks. The man handed me the roll of cash that I'll never actually need, and small white pills. I've taken them a few times before, just enough to sleep through the night. Instead of going to bed I sit on the roof, looking over the capital. I chase the pills with dark whiskey, lay my head back against the wall and watch the stars.

     "Ivy- Ivy please breath," I'm throwing up. I cough hard, someone's hand is in my mouth. Peacekeepers are on the roof. Haymitch is holding me, Finnick is here. Finnick is crying. The world is spinning and I am angry. Angry that I am alive.

Now

   I feel Finnick beside of me before I am completely asleep. He wraps himself around me, "I'm sorry for leaving."

   I don't respond, I just scoot into him, allowing him to wrap his arms round me. I am not angry, at least he only left for a few hours. I tried to leave forever. 
 
    This is our forever. We will both be going back into the games and only one will come out. I'll loose my best friends, I'll loose myself, because there is no way I am living in a world without Finn.