A Lover of Rain

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE:

You never realize the importance of somebody in your life until they're no longer part of it. Letting go of Julian's hand when he didn't want to let go felt like a dream when I opened my eyes, yet the unbearable pain in my heart reminded me that it's real. I woke up feeling like I'm drowning from guilt and regret while hearing my heart shatter into a million pieces as my mind shows memories I have with Julian that I treasured the most. Every time I'd think about them, it used to make me smile knowing I'd have more opportunities to repeat these moments again. The way our hands would touch and send jolts of electricity in my body as my heart jumped from joy. The look in his eyes that is full of love and admiration every time our eyes meet in the sea of strangers. His kisses that would put a smile on my lips whenever I'd remember his gentle kiss in different parts of my body. I realize that the opportunity to live with these trivial moments with Julian has come to pass.

I did this to myself. I don't deserve him. I tried everything I could to be deserving of all his affections and love, but I was just fooling myself. At the end of the day, I didn't change. Not at all. Not one bit. I was still the girl who was in love with the same person she thought would fall in love with her someday. I was still the same Aryn whose world revolved around Kylo. I just became good at burying it deep within me without realizing it was still there all along.

My eyes scanned the room while I was still laying down, realizing I fell asleep in Julian's bed. The events of what happened after running away from Julian was bleak. I was crying too much that I couldn't retain my memories from last night fast enough, having the same feeling as if I was drunk. Several looks as I tried to sit down were thrown my way by Clyde and Charlie–who frantically didn't know how to approach my situation. Their eyes were shifting, afraid that if they stared too much or started asking the questions lingering in their minds, I might break. Even the way they were breathing was taken with care.

"Cookie?" Charlie broke the silence by offering me a jar of half-eaten cookies they had on their bedside table. I tried to talk so I could act unaffected in a way but no sound would come out of my mouth. I just woke up yet I don't have the energy to deal with everything around me.

So I did the only thing I could do. Even gesturing 'no' by shaking my head made my energy get depleted. "You know..." My tired swollen eyes glanced toward Clyde who's showing a rather unusual affection to me right now. "Sinubukan ko syang pigilan kagabi. Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyari sa inyong dalawa, pero ang masasabi ko lang ay hindi lang ikaw yung nasaktan. Julian left devastated... something I have never seen before."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry that he left." Clyde added. I've only thought about him as a douchebag who's bound to hurt my friend's feelings, but the tone of his voice and the way he looked at me made me feel the sincerity of his words. I couldn't exactly say thank you for telling me since I'd rather not talk about it but I appreciated the effort to comfort me.

I nodded as a response instead. I closed my eyes shut to gather my strength to leave the bed Julian has slept in every night, but a loud exchange of heated arguments coming from outside our room broke my concentration. Clyde and Charlie ran out to see the commotion. I was the last one to get out of the room to see what was going on. Suddenly, some of my friends tried to drag me back to the room but having a glimpse of Kylo on the floor with a bloody nose was enough for me to get out of Yohan and Eric's grip. A fuming Hiro was standing in front of a collapsed Kylo who couldn't fight back–or rather, didn't want to fight back anymore. "You're a fucking mess, Sevidal! You and I were starting to become friends yet you pulled this kind of bullshit to my brother?" The tone of his voice raised even more as his fist was shaking from anger.

"Hiro!" Markie screamed his name but it didn't calm him down.

Kylo wiped the blood dripping from his nose when our eyes suddenly met; his eyes went from being nonchalant to shocked that I'm witnessing him get beaten by Julian's half-brother. "Do you have any idea what you put us through? My mom couldn't fucking sleep from getting worried because she thought her son was missing. I drove all night around the city, calling Julian non-stop but he wouldn't answer, until this morning when he told me what happened."