A Lover of Rain

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER EIGHT:

When we were younger, a professor asked what do you know about love at such a young age? Not a thing, I'd answer in my head. Yet after realizing my feelings for my best friend, I finally had a reasonable answer to a question I thought about all the time. Love isn't a knowledge you gain by falling for someone else. Love is just a feeling. It's like standing barefoot on a meadow feeling the warmth of the sun on your feet while overlooking the beautiful scenery that makes you feel at ease and comfortable. Other times, it feels like you're standing alone in an empty street with raindrops falling over your head and no matter how much you run away from the rain, it just follows and drench you until you're cold and shivering.

Kylo used to be the meadow for me. Every time his eyes would meet mine with a sweet smile plastered on his face like I have a power to make his day better whenever he'd look at me; that is the warm feeling of the sun on my feet.

But one day when we were younger, he made me do something that I never thought I'd ever do for him. That girl he liked that sold him brownies at school; he asked me to get close to her so I could find out what she liked. Her favorite flower, her favorite color, her favorite food. Everything I had to find out about her that Kylo was curious about, I learned. All of my memories I shared with her felt like I was walking in shards of glasses on the ground from how painful it was.

To Kylo, she was his meadow. That person who could give him a sense of peace and simpleness. Kylo liked her so much that he surprised her in our school's garden, holding a banner I helped him make that said the words I wanted him to ask me. Beautifully calligraphed on a yellow cartolina was will you be my girlfriend? while he's holding a bouquet of red tulips for her that I picked out myself. She was so happy after hearing his question which she ended up saying yes to. I watched the whole thing happen with a bitter smile plastered on my face as I listened to the sound of my heart breaking into a million pieces at the same time.

As a thank you for my help, Kylo took me to a restaurant with an overlooking view of the city where we stayed until it was dark. I couldn't say no to him even though all I wanted to do that night was to stay on my bed and cry on my pillow. I watched him feel ecstatic all night, talking about how he finally got the girl he liked for a few months and I would smile along because if he's happy, then I'm happy.

"I wouldn't be able to do it without you." Kylo said with utmost sincerity, oblivious to the fact that I'm trying not to break down in front of him from the pain he's causing me. I swallowed hard to hold my tears back. "Yeah, you wouldn't because you have shitty handwriting." I joked around even though my whole world was shattering apart.

Kylo pretended to get hurt from my remark but laughed it off afterwards. "No, but seriously. Thank you talaga, Aryn. Don't worry, kapag naging kayo nung lalaking gusto mo gagawin ko rin lahat para tulungan ka sa kanya." He brushed his shoulder against mine. I gazed at his face with sadness in my eyes. It's not like I hadn't given Kylo a clue about my feelings for him. I'd throw an occasional hint for him whenever I have the chance so he'd know that he's the person I like for the longest time. I was doing it for months now, but not one hint ever hit his head that maybe he's the one I was talking about.

"You'd do that?" I asked, still staring at his black eyes that were full of life. Kylo nodded his head before staring back at me. "You're my best friend, Aryn. If you're happy, I'm happy. Hindi ba ganon naman talaga 'yon? If you introduce someone you love, I promise I'd be the first to congratulate you and be happy that you finally found the one."

And from that moment forward, the meadow turned into an empty street where it's always cold and raining.

Even though I kept wishing for Kylo to be the right person for me, I still held on to his promise that night. It's as if my world suddenly stopped and the only thing I could hear was my heartbeat getting faster and faster as they walked towards me. This gut feeling that I had made me wish to be stuck in a time loop and just relive the moment I had with Julian from the car ride up to the Flying Fiesta, so I wouldn't have to deal with what's about to come.