The Best Mistakes

39. Nolan

The cafe still buzzed with crowd in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday. I sat there patiently in the corner, with my hands on the table. For once I wasn't late to meet Ethan. I couldn't because I had to talk to Ethan and be honest with him.

I kept fidgeting with my fingers, while looking out the window for any signs of him. Though I was fifteen minutes early to prepare myself. I'd never done confrontations and I wasn't really sure if I was any good at that.

I took a deep breath when I saw him entering the cafe. He scanned the cafe and walked towards me when I raised my hand for him to see. “You're early. That's not like you.” Ethan took off his coat and hung it on the chair and sat in front of me. “Were you busy?” I asked as he was wearing his scrub.

“Of course. We're in the middle of the day,” he said and ordered two coffees for us. It was past lunchtime so we figured that we'd already eaten. “So, are you in trouble?”

I choked on air when he just casually asked me that. “Why do you ask that?” I frowned, I took offense from his words. “Well, you asked to meet up when we just met two weeks ago. You surely didn't call me just because you missed me. So what did you do?” He clarified and I felt more offended by the way he was saying all this like it was nothing new to him. Even if I had called him a few times in the past when I was dragged in messes, he still can't just assume that I'll do the same every time.

“So you think I can only call you when I cause trouble? Seriously, what am I? A five year old?” I scoffed.

“Well, Theo causes significantly less trouble compared to you, a 23-year-old. So I don't think age has anything to do with causing trouble.” He shrugged. Even though he was right, it still pissed me. I mean, I've been in significantly big messes, a little too many times than I'd like to admit but it was too much. He compared me to Theo.

I can't do this. This upright jerk doesn't deserve my time. I'd forgotten how much he annoys me and got emotional. I'm leaving. No, I can't. I shook my head in an attempt to lighten my irritation.

“I didn't cause any trouble, okay? I'm just here to talk to you,” I said defeated. I had to talk to him, that's why I was here. I looked at Ethan as he sipped his coffee. I will have to make this quick, I can't keep him here during his work hours.

“I'm sorry.” My head dropped. My voice became heavy. I couldn't look him in the eye but my head jerked up at his words. “That's how it goes when you cause trouble.” He is so very unserious.

“I told you I didn't cause any trouble. I'm just apologizing because I'm late… I never asked about you before.” My voice trailed off in the end. “So let me ask you now?” I met his eyes. I wiped my sweaty palms on my thighs. He looked confused but it looked like he realized I wasn't joking.

“Ethan, do you hate me?” I finally asked. It took me a lot more courage to say this. But now that I said it, I felt like it was easier than it seemed. “Why do you ask?” Ethan said with the same look as me in his eyes.

“Because…I took your things from you. I took the love and care from Mom and Dad and the company that should've all been yours and I never even apologized to you.” The rest flowed out once I began. Really, the first step is the hardest. My eyes moistened when I poured everything out one by one.

“You didn't take anything from me. I got everything I've ever wanted. Mom and Dad love me enough and I don't need the company. I am happy Nolan…” My vision blurred with tears and I couldn't see his expressions very well. A tear slipped from my eyes and I saw everything clearly.

Ethan never cried, let alone showed any emotions. But when I saw his face, there were many emotions reflecting on his face. Seeing his glossy eyes, raised eyebrows and honest feelings, tears slipped from my eyes one after another. “And I don't hate you. Even though you are a brat, a troublemaking fool and a careless ugling but most importantly you are my brother. I can't hate you, though I don't like it when you call me out to clean up your messes.”