Ruined With Me

CHAPTER 32

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Nova Pov:

I'm breathing, but there is no part of my body wants to live anymore. My body is writhing in pain.

"Stella" He speak but stop in midway. Is he still not satisfy after what he did to me?

I'm lying on bed, powerless and he's beside me. I want to just run away from here but my body isn't helping me.

I close my eyes when he grabs my hand. His touch is scaring me more than anything now. Tears started flowing my eyes when he wears me his shirt.

Please, leave me alone!

I want to yell at him, but I can't. My throat feels so dry, and my lips are not parting from each other. I start shivering in my place when his fingers travel to my chest as he buttons up.

Please, leave me!

I flinched in my place when someone knocked on the door. My body jerked, and I sit down when I hear my baby's crying voice.

I lean on near the wall for support and stand up. It's takes moments for me to stand there without wall's support. With my shaky legs, I go to door and open it.

"Nov-" I head Zoe's voice, but she stopped may be seeing me in this state.

I ignore her gaze on me and take my baby from her. It's mid night. He must be hungry. With my shaky legs, I walk to my room with him in my arms.

I hear Zoe calling out my name but I'm too powerless to do anything now. I can barely walk. I take duvet from bed and went to my room's balcony.

I really need fresh air...!

I sat down on the ground with him on my lap. I pat his head for a while, and he stopped but my eyes get wet when he clutch my breast, meaning he is hungry.

"Zoe, can you please make the milk for baby?" I asked her as I feel her presence behind me.

"Nova, please tell me what happened? I'm here. And why you want me to make milk. You can feed him, right? Is something happened than please tell me." She said and I turned my face to other side to hide my unwanted tears.

I know, I'm not going to cry, but now I feel powerless when I see him crying and I can't do anything. I can't even feed him.

"I am no longer pure as a mother." I breathe out and started crying my heart out embarrassing him. After moments, I straighten myself and looked at him.

At first, I thought that he was going cry with me, but he doesn't. I weakly smile at him when he wiped my tears with his tiny palm.

"Nova, I'm sor-"

"Don't pity me and please bring milk for him." I cut her off. I hear steps fading away and I breathe out.

"Pa pa pa..." My baby said and I quickly open my eyes and look in the room. My breath hitches when I see him standing at the door.

I turn my face to other side as I don't want to see him. I don't even want to think about him. He's monster!

"Here" Zoe said as she gives me his milk bottle. I take it and start feeding him. I breathe out in relief when he drinks without his any tantrums.

"Mum" He speak after drinking whole bottle and I smiled at him. I stand up him on my lap and he started clapping his hands.

But he stopped when tears started flowing my eyes. I'm trying my best to control but I can't. He started crying to and my heart arched in pain.