Ruined With Me

CHAPTER 34

Nova Pov:

"Don't hate yourself because of my sin." He murmured, leaving me bewildered. I just stare at him not understanding him, his words, his emotions.

I can't even understand myself, my own tangled emotions. I don't want to see his face, don't even want to be near him.

But here, I found myself inexplicably drawn to his presence, sharing the same space and air with him.

What is happening to me?

I looked at his head on my lap and beside him, my baby, crying his hearts out. I wiped his tears and kissed his whole face.

His cries became lighter. With a heavy heart, I untie my dress and closed my eyes for moment to collect myself. I hate myself.

I quickly opened my eyes when I feel his mouth on my nipple. Tears started flowing my eyes as I looked his peaceful face. He had his eyes closed, clutching my skin in his tiny hand.

I grabbed his hand and kissed it. He smiled and seeing his smile, a smile appears on my face too.

"Just because my life is ruined, why should I ruin this little life?" I told myself while looking at his sleeping state.

I cleaned his mouth and stood up him on my shoulder. He mewed in irritation, opened his eyes and looked at me. I pecked his forehead and he went back to sleep.

I closed my eyes and inhaled his baby smell. I rocked him in the air to put him in sleep. I wants to stand up, but Alexander's head is still on my lap.

I sighed out when he stood up moments later, my movement must be disturbed him. I heard footsteps fading away, meaning he had left the room.

I laid the baby down on my lap. A smile crept on my face when I looked at his pouty lips. He has tucked his lower lip into his mouth. I gently took it out and he quickly rubbed the spot.

I flinched when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned to look- Alexander came in room with a tray in his hands. I narrowed my eyes when he came to me, place it on table.

"Y-You haven't eaten since last n-night, right?" He asked, settling the food in front of me. I smiled- A genuine whole heartedly smiles at hearing him shuttering.

He gulped hard when he looks at my face. He stands up and take baby from me, went into room to put him on bed. He again came back and sat in front of me.

"St-"

"I'm not hungry." I cut him off, resting my head on the seat and looking at the sky.

"Why aren't you hungry?" He asked sternly and I laughed in my mind. So, he really thinks, he can still order me around.

"I asked, why aren't you hungry?" He repeated, louder this time. I stood up and went near to him. He looked at me with wide eyes.

I wrapped my hands around his neck and sat on his lap. He closed his eyes and started breathing heavily.

My smile grew when he didn't wrap his hand around my waist. He is digging his nails into his palms.

He quickly opens his eyes when I take his arms in front of me. I kissed his knuckles. He tries to snatch it, but I held on tightly. He didn't even react when my nails dig into his skin.

His silence gave me a pleasure, I hadn't felt since last night. I wrapped his hands around my waist. God knows, how much courage I gathered for this stunt.

I leaned on his face. Our faces inches apart. I could feel his warm and ragged breath on my face. He's looking deep into my eyes, searching for something.