Genshin Impact Oneshots

Hu Tao x male y/n 🔪

(Shoutout to @Only133Rdr2 for the chapter request!)

It was commonplace for me to visit Hu Tao at the funeral parlor she owned—though somehow she was Mr. Zhongli's boss. Together we had fought in the Archon War, and yet after his, quote, "death", Rex Lapis is no longer, and Zhongli now fills his place. 

Though the most of Liyue has no clue of his true identity, a share of friends and other adepti know. I am one of them. Due to sheer respect for the god of Geo, I have not told anyone about him. Which includes Hu Tao. 

I am an immortal being, and have seen almost all of Teyvat changing over the thousands of years I have viewed this planet. Everyone, mortal at least, comes and goes in my lifetime. I've learned to not get attached, because soon enough they will succumb to their mortal bodies. 

Surprisingly, for one being oh-so-connected to the spirit realm as she calls it, Hu herself is not immortal nor has any unique physical characteristics. She's just another human, like everyone around her, and what she thinks I am. 

Even though I have told myself to not get attached, I cannot bring myself to do that towards her. I'm not sure; possibly it's because of how attuned to life and death she is, that I feel a deeper connection. Like almost every day, I approach the building and let myself in. I see her polishing a coffin, (not uncommon for her line of work) and scrubbing it tidily. 

"Hu! What're you up to today?" I ask her, waving as she turns around to greet me. 

"Y/n! I'm fine. Y'know, the normal business and all. Aiya!* There's this old woman though. She's going all bonkers over her husband and is trying to make the funeral as fancy and proper as she can- problem is, she's dirt broke." She says, pouting a bit. 

*'Aiya' is an exclamation of sorts she uses in multiple of her in-game voicelines. Think of "wow" or "oh my", etc.*

I sigh, not quite sure how to respond. 

"Is she causing you too much trouble? Because if she is, I'm always here to-"

"None of that, y/n. It's fine. More of a headache than anything." She says, cutting me off. I chuckle quietly. 

"But, y'know, everyone dies eventually. Soon enough I will, and so will you. I mean, if you're not immortal or something." She laughs. I look down at my shoes, but quickly regain my composure as to not worry her. 

"By the way, I might be gone for a few days." Hu Tao informs me. 

"How come?" 

"Lumine and Paimon want me to go with them to the overlapping area in Liyue to try and communicate with some spirits. Something about Chongyun..." She says, turning back to the coffin. 

"The exorcist?" I ask.

"Mmhm," she nods, "he has a pure yang soul, so he's never actually seen a spirit before." 

"So the Traveler is doing him a favor?"

"Yeah. And because I know all about it, well, yeah. They want me to tag along." She explains. 

"Are you okay with helping?"

"I'm okay with it. I'd say yes to everyone if they need help--with payment, of course. Wait... No. I'll say yes to almost everyone." Hu Tao says with a frown.

"Who's the exception?" 

"Oh y/n.... You don't know?" She asks me teasingly. 

"No... Should I?"  I ask, tilting my head to the side. 

"Baizhu." She says, shuddering. 

"What's your beef with him?"

"Well, I'm interested in Qiqi, that zombie girl. They both work at Bubu Pharmacy, but whenever I try to steal her away, Baizhu comes in and ruins the fun. Such a party pooper~" She sighs.

"Interested, like, romantically?" I ask a bit frantically, "she's like eight!"  Hu Tao's eyes widen in shock at my question. 

"Of course not, y/n!! Interested as in, she's a zombie! My whole thing is dead people!" She exclaims. I purse my lips and click my tongue.

"Sorry for assuming." I mutter quietly. She places a hand on my shoulder. 

"No sweat. Anyways, can you help me polish this thing?" She asks, handing me a towel. I take it and help her scrub it. 

"Anyways, about the whole death thing..." She starts. 

"Almost everything we talk about is death-related..." I say, looking over at her. She smiles.

"Nah, about the immortality thing." She clarifies. Immediately I feel my breath hitch and my heart beating faster. She had never mentioned it before until today, and I wasn't prepared for the topic. 

"What about it?" I ask, pretending to be innocent. 

"Well, you're not actually immortal, right? Like me?" 

"Your whole shtick is death. If I were immortal, wouldn't you know?" I ask her nervously. 

"Not really." She admits. 

"Well, are you?" I ask, trying to deflect the attention from me to her. 

"I wouldn't be the 77th owner if I were immortal. I'd be the first or something. My family dies, which is why the ownership gets passed down." She explains. I nod, pretending like this is the first time I've heard this. 

"Anyways, thanks for visiting." Hu says, stepping back to admire the shiny and spotless coffin. I take my hands off of it and look at it too.

"So our work here is done?"

"The life of a funeral parlor owner is never done. People die every two seconds." 

"...Huh. I think I'm gonna go into the mountains for some air." I tell her. 

"Like, a hike?" 

"Yeah. Just to admire the land, y'know?"

"I know. Well, have fun with that, y/n!" Hu Tao says, waving goodbye. I wave back and leave the building and head off on my way. Passing through the streets of the city, I can't help but feel sad knowing that everyone here is going to die sooner or later. With the exception of a few adepti, within a hundred years, none of these people will still be here. At least, not in a coffin.

At least, for now, I have Hu Tao to talk with. I know a lot about spirit stuff, but I don't have a Vision, so people don't really admire me. All the other adepti I know have one, but I have to be grateful for what I have. 

And I guess that applies to having a friend, too.