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To say Carina has been worried about Andy was an understatement. She had barely spoken to them since the attack and seemed to have withdrawn completely. Carina decided to go and see Andy on her day off, taking around some of Andy's favorite snacks.
"Andy...it's me..." she called when Andy didn't open the door.
Andy was inside her apartment, wrapped up in a blanket on her couch, trying to tune out the world and block out what happened to her when she heard Carina. Andy figured the Italian wouldn't go away until she answered so she shed the blanket, sighed and walked to the door and opened it.
"Carina? What are you doing here?" Andy asked, opening the door slightly.
"Andy, hi." Carina was relieved to see Andy was okay. "Can I come in?" Andy didn't give a verbal response but opened the door more to let Carina in. "I brought snacks. Figured you might not have been eating much these last few days." Carina looked around Andy's apartment and didn't see any dishes out or anything else indicting that she was eating.
"Haven't had much of an appetite," Andy said as she ran a hand through her curls.
"I'm not surprised. Can I get you something to drink?"
"Could use a shot of vodka...maybe two." Andy tried to joke but it came up dry. "Water would be fine."
"One water, coming up." She quickly went to the kitchen, pouring Andy a cool glass before placing it on the coffee table in front of her. "Is it okay if I sit?"
Andy nodded "Of course." Andy moved to sit down as well and wrapped the blanket on the couch around her again, picking up the glass of water and taking a sip. "So, what are you really doing here, Carina? Shouldn't you be with Maya?"
"I came to check on you. Maya is at work, it's my day off."
"Oh, right." Andy shakes her head. "I guess with everything that happened I've kind of forgotten the regular schedule for A shift."
"That's understandable. It's a lot to process." Carina sympathized. "But being alone right now probably isn't helping much either?" She guessed.
"Being around others isn't going to help much either." Andy said, putting the water back down "I can't take all the looks of pity everyone gives me, and I hate that I can't do the one thing I'm best at right now."
"Have you thought about talking to Diane about it all?"
"No, I haven't." Andy paused, sighing. "The only times I've ever talked to her were mostly centered around Robert. How I was falling for him, how I was worried for his well-being after he got arrested, and then around the time when he signed the divorce papers. I don't know how I would talk to her about this. I can't even get myself to go into details with anyone since that night with those cops and detectives."
"It's painful to think about the memories, but talking about it really does help. Why don't you try talking to me about it?"
"Carina...I appreciate you offering to listen, but I- I just can't seem to do it. I open my mouth and choke on my words, and I just end up in tears."
"Then do it, let the tears flow..." she encouraged gently.
Andy looked up at Carina, saw the concern in her eyes, and thought back to when she was talking to Robert the morning after the attack. When he just sat and talked to her, reassuring her that Jeremy was the bad guy and that she wasn't.
Andy feels it, she feels her eyes start to water, feels that ache in her chest, and she just lets go. And breaks down into heartbreaking sobs.
Carina wrapped Andy in her arms, letting her cry. "I've got you...you're safe now bambina."
Andy continues to sob in Carina's arms, having flashes of what happened come rushing back as she gripped Carina tighter.
"That's it...let it out..."
Andy could feel Carina running her hand up and down her back, helping her to calm down after minutes went by and her sobs began to slow down.
Carina wanted to do whatever she could to comfort Andy. "You know, you don't have to stay here alone."
"Well, where else would I stay? I was couch surfing for a year, Carina. Most of it with you and Maya. Isn't it good that I'm finally spending time in a place that's my own?" Andy asked, pulling back from Carina's hug, wiping the tears off her cheeks with her blanket.
"You could come and stay with us till you're feeling stronger."
Andy scoffs "I haven't felt strong in over a year, Carina. This was just another trauma added on top of Ryan, my dad, getting transferred to 23, which no one even seemed to care about by the way, seeing the engine memorialized to my dad go up in flames and putting the fire out myself because of Beckett's carelessness." Andy rubs her forehead and looks at Carina, still seeing the concern, and sighs. "I really don't want to burden you and Maya with looking after me."
"You're not burdening us. We're offering."
"Carina, you and Maya are trying for a baby. I'll only be getting in the way."
"You wouldn't be, not at all."
"You say that, but I would still be forced into hearing you and Maya having sex in the next room over." Andy lets out a laugh.
"Point taken" Carina couldn't help but chuckle.
Andy looks down at her hands, thinking about Carina's offer, vulnerable she asks, "Are you sure, Carina? Maya won't mind?"
"I am 100 percent sure. Maya would love to have you there."
Andy didn't need to be told twice, she packed her bag and headed over to Maya and Carina's that evening with Carina. She was still jumpy and anxious but didn't want to be alone.
When they got to the apartment Andy watched as Carina unlocked the door and walked in. Andy hesitates behind her. She thought about how this would be the fourth time staying at Maya's and felt guilty that she kept invading her space. And now it wasn't only Maya's, but Carina's too.
"Carina," Andy called from the doorway "I know you said you're sure, but are you sure Maya will be? We haven't exactly been super close lately."
"Maya knew I was going to ask you. She actively encouraged it" Carina tried to reassure her. "You're family Andy."
Andy teared up and walked further into the apartment. Taking in the familiar surroundings then turning to face Carina who was in the kitchen. "Thank you, Carina. I really appreciate having your and Maya's support."
"You'll always have it, no matter what..." Carina promised, reaching out to offer her hand an affectionate squeeze.
Andy squeezed back and smiled, the first genuine one since that frightful night outside of Joe's.
