Watched some of the earlier seasons' episodes. Depressed now so this is what happened.
Ryan had died. Her other half. Her ride or die. Her childhood best friend/high school romance. Her person.
Andy sat in her bunk a week after Ryan had died. A few days after finding out her "best friend" was being named captain.
"What I need is for just one friend to not look at me like you're looking at me right now. One fried to just sit next to me and talk or not talk or cry or not cry and not have an opinion about it. One friend. That's all I need. Can you be that friend?" Andy had asked Maya, and she didn't know what hurt worse, Maya saying that she would be there for her and then accepting a job that would've been given to her had it not been for her dad talking to Sullivan or that her other half had died and now she had no one to talk to.
Andy brought her knees up to her chin and grabbed a blanket. She wanted to be at work. She needed to be at work but at the same time, she found she couldn't focus. All around the firehouse, she had memories of Ryan and her as kids and it broke her heart every time she would get hit with a memory. She hears the alarm goes off and was grateful when it was just the Engine being called out.
Andy leaned back against the pillows and closed her eyes. She wanted to sleep but all she saw was Milo with the gun in his hands. Andy opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling. She didn't know what to do anymore. She was physically at work but mentally she was anywhere but.
What's the point anyway?
Andy shook the blanket off of her and walked into the beanery to get a cup of coffee, hoping that would help clear her head. When she got in there only Jack was sitting at the table.
"Herrera." Andy heard her name be called but she just continued to get her coffee. "Andy." Andy heard again and this time she looked over to where Jack was sitting.
"What?" Andy asked, voice void of any emotion.
"I know you're not okay but is there anything I can do?" Jack asked, concerned for his friend. Jack watched Andy practically drop into a chair at the table before she looked at him, with no emotion in her eyes.
"No," Andy whispered before looking down at the table. The two of them had been sitting at the table for five minutes when Andy suddenly spoke. "I don't know if I can do this anymore," Andy admitted before rushing out of the beanery, past Vic, Dean and Travis, leaving her untouched coffee behind.
"What's going on with Herrera?" Vic asked but Jack just rushed past the three firefighters and tried to follow Andy, the others following too.
"Andy!" Jack called when he saw Andy in the parking lot going to her car. Andy looked up and Jack saw her shoulders slump and her head lower.
"Jack, please just leave me alone," Andy pleaded, opening her car door but Jack closed it and took the keys from Andy.
"We need to talk about what you just said, Andy," Jack told her, grabbing one of her hands. Andy looked down and tried to pull away, but Jack wouldn't let go.
"Let go of me, Jack." Andy tried to rip her hand away, but Jack just held it and pulled her into a hug. Andy tried to push him away for several moments. "Jack, I said let go!" Andy spoke, voice cracking and that's when the floodgates just opened, and she sank into Jack's arms. "I-I sa-said let me g-go." Andy cried in Jack's arms.
"Shhh. Shhh, Andy. It's okay, It's going to be okay. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." Jack continued to hold her and rub her back while Dean, Travis and Vic watched on in shock. Jack looked at all his friends and shook his head, telling them to stay back. "Andy," Jack waited for Andy to pull back. "I don't think you driving is a good idea right now. Just stay in the house okay? You're not okay." Jack said, stating the obvious.
"I know," Andy said, tears still falling down her cheeks. "I'm just so done, Jack," Andy admitted, and Jack pulled Andy back into his arms, feeling tears hitting his neck. He just ran a hand up and down her back. He didn't know what he could do or what he could say to make this any better. Jack continued to stand in the parking lot with Andy for several more minutes when the alarm sounded for the ladder truck and aid car. Jack let go of Andy. "Go up to your bunk. Try to get some sleep. I'll cover for you." Jack led her back into the station while he and everyone else loaded up in the trucks.
Andy wanted to go with them. She wanted to go and fight fires. She wanted to go and be a paramedic. But she knew everyone would be at risk if she were to go out there right now. She knew that she wasn't in the right mind space, so she just walked through the barn and up to her bunk.
Andy sighed, lay down and closed her eyes. She just wanted to sleep. She just wanted to get some rest. She hadn't been able to since Ryan died and after an hour Andy's eyes blinked closed and she fell asleep.
"Some days, the job breaks you. Some days, life breaks you. Sometimes it's too much to feel at all or to feel...any of it." - Jack Gibson
