CLOSED - The Hot & Bothered Awards

WINNERS - Short story

🥇 1st place winner 🥇

Love Letters by ArabelaTaylor

Originality - 10/10

Writing style - 8/10

Pacing - 9/10

Grammar and punctuation - 10/10

Overall impressions - 9/10

Overall score - 46/50

This story was both interesting and cute. My initial impressions changed as I continued to read the story, and I can say that this one is quite unique. I would like to mention that even though I read the Prologue, I did not consider it because it was not written by this author.

Overall, the narrative was good, and I found no plot holes or major mistakes. The writing style was decent, and the author was fairly consistent throughout the story. There are a few issues, but they can be resolved with a little more editing.

For example, you should try to avoid, as much as possible, repeating words. I understand how difficult it can be to find alternatives to what you are writing, which is why I said you should try to do so as much as possible. Sometimes, you just can't avoid it.

Personally, I believe you overused the words 'my Moon' and' my Sun'; while I understand you wanted to emphasize their relationship, it can become a little repetitive. As well as always mentioning their eye color; if you really want to mention their eye color, maybe try to do it just one per chapter or in moments in which that information is very important.

I'd recommend trying to separate the flashback a little bit - maybe write it in Italic. I think it could help with the flow of the text, instead of using the words 'flashback' and 'the end'.

I found no mistakes in grammar or punctuation.

Now, as a reader, I can say I enjoy the story. It has interesting characters, and even if it has a small plot, you provided me with enough details to create an imaginary picture. They were so sweet together, and I am glad your story ended happily.

The book's cover was simple, but it worked perfectly with the story and title.

🥈 2nd place winner 🥈

24 hours by LoveEthereal07_

Originality - 10/10

Writing style - 6/10

Pacing - 7/10

Grammar and punctuation - 6/10

Overall impressions - 7/10

Overall score - 36/50

Oh, this short story really surprised me. The premises are excellent, and there is no doubt that the author of this story is extremely talented. This book is what I consider to be original.

I must admit that I was slightly disappointed by the technical aspects, but there is nothing that cannot be fixed.

The writing style in general was fairly simple, which I appreciated given that not everyone on this platform speaks English fluently. I believe it is appropriate for the genre, but it lacks the ability to paint me imaginary images. It wouldn't be much of a deal because you added pictures to show what you actually meant, but I think that, with a little bit of effort and practice, you will be able to paint a vivid picture only with words.

In general, the pacing was good, but there were some parts in which I believe you rushed a little bit, such as when Rory asks her to accompany him. It appears that you rushed through some parts, afraid that if you gave a little more detail, it would no longer be considered a short story.

The most significant issue I found in your story was with grammar and punctuation, but do not worry; it is easily fixed with some editing.

First of all, there are phrases in which you used no dot to end the sentence, and no commas as well. There are times in which you over use the ellipsis (I mean this sign - ...). Most of the times, this sign is used to indicate a pause or omission of words and sentences. So, you have to use it if you want to create suspense, indicate a trailing off of thoughts or to show that something was left unsaid. In your case, there are many parts in which the ellipsis shouldn't be there.

Furthermore, you have some issues with the topic of a phrase, as well as a lack of linking words.

Consider the following paragraph, which you wrote in your book:

'Talking about our day, sharing stories, lessons, fav line we encountered today... It was so much fun to listen to him. I must say he has read far more interesting and amazing books, which I felt regretted not reading it'

You can remove the ellipsis because it is unnecessary here, and pay closer attention to the time of the verbs.

This is just a recommendation for how it should be.

'We talked about our day and shared stories, lessons, and favorite lines. It was so much fun to listen to him talk. He has read more interesting and amazing books than I did, and I felt a little remorseful that I did not get to read as many as he did.

Here is an additional example. Here's how you wrote it:

'We danced like the princess and prince would do in a ball dance room... But with a slight difference that was instead a room we were amidst nature, while accompanied by false snowing yet giving realistic emotions to me'

A more refined version would be:

'We danced across the floor with the grace of a princess and prince at a royal ball. Yet, instead of a grand ballroom, our stage was nature itself. We were surrounded by faux snow that somehow felt achingly real'

Now, as a reader, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It has a lot of potential if you make some changes to your book (I can help if needed). Some parts were difficult to read due to grammar errors, but the plot is compelling. I was a little heartbroken by the end, but it fit the story.