True Beauty - 2

11

{Funeral}

Felix sat solemnly to my right, and Jisung to my left, a somber trio bound by shared grief. The weight of the occasion pressed heavily upon us, casting a shadow over the room as mourners gathered to pay their respects.

As I sat there, grappling with a whirlwind of emotions, I couldn't shake the feeling that Chan's absence was somehow fitting. Guilt gnawed at me, whispering accusations that we were somehow culpable for Seojun's untimely fate. Was it our actions, our words, that led him down this tragic path? The thought churned in my mind, a relentless torment.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Gowoon approaching, her eyes swollen with sorrow, her grief palpable in every trembling step. I rose instinctively, bowing respectfully as she drew near, her hand reaching out to mine in a gesture of unexpected comfort.

"Jugyeong told me about you and my brother," she said, her voice quivering with emotion. The weight of her words bore down on me like a heavy stone, the guilt tightening its grip around my heart.

"I know, I'm so sorry," I whispered, tears welling in my eyes as the magnitude of my regret washed over me. "I didn't mean to...I didn't know..."

But even as I spoke, memories of my own past sorrows resurfaced, memories of loss and helplessness that echoed Mrs. Han's plight. The ache of my childhood, the pain of my mother's passing, cast a shadow over the present, a bitter reminder of life's cruel injustices. How my father did not help her...how she died when I was 10....

Gowoon's touch brought me back to the present, her gentle reassurances a balm to my wounded soul. She cradled my face in her hands, her eyes filled with compassion as she spoke words of solace.

"It's not your fault," she said, her voice trembling with emotion. "I know you blame yourself, but it's not your fault. Trust me. It was simply her time to depart this world."

Her words offered a glimmer of comfort amidst the darkness, a beacon of hope in the midst of despair. I nodded, grateful for her kindness, for her understanding in a moment of overwhelming guilt.

But as Gowoon gestured towards Seojun, tears streaming down his face as he struggled to find his voice, I felt the weight of responsibility settle upon my shoulders once more. Suho's words echoed in my mind, a haunting reminder of the pain we had unwittingly inflicted.

I watched Seojun from afar, his grief etched upon his face, and I knew that our actions, however unintentional, had left a wound that would never fully heal. In that moment, amidst the solemnity of the funeral, I vowed to carry the burden of my remorse, to seek redemption for the pain we had caused, however impossible it may seem.

As the funeral continued, the air thick with sorrow and regret, I found myself drawn to Seojun's side, a silent companion in his time of need. I approached him hesitantly, my heart heavy with the weight of unspoken apologies, uncertain of how to offer solace in the face of such profound loss.

Seojun looked up as I approached, his eyes bloodshot from tears, his expression a mask of anguish. For a moment, neither of us spoke, the silence between us pregnant with unspoken words, with the weight of our shared guilt.

"I'm so sorry, Seojun," I finally murmured, my voice barely above a whisper. "I never meant for any of this to happen. I never meant to hurt you, or your family."

Seojun's gaze softened at my words, a flicker of understanding in his tear-streaked eyes. He reached out, his hand trembling as it found mine, a silent gesture of forgiveness, of shared pain.

"It's not your fault," he said, his voice hoarse with emotion. "None of this is your fault. My mom...she wouldn't want you to blame yourself. She understood why you rejected me. She did not want a girl to live with a man she did not love."

"But I-"

"Its alright Alina." a tiny trembling smile. "I understand why you feel bad. Thanks for coming here....i needed someone to talk to...someone other than Suho or Jugyeong"

"I am here. I know I hurt you...i know that you are just trying to be nice...but besides all that...remember i am still here for you. The fact that i don't love you romantically does not mean I hate you or don't adore you. I admire and adore you Seojun. A lot" I said as I stepped back to walk away. But he held my hand and looked into my eyes - "Please don't leave me"

"I won't do that mistake again." I said and stood beside him. He needed me. So i will be there for him.