True Beauty - 2

12

After the funeral, Gowoon invited me to stay the night at her home, and I accepted, reaching out to Chan for help. He answered promptly, "Yes Al?"

"Channie, could you pass the phone to Hannah? I tried calling her but her phone was off," I explained. After a brief exchange of voices, Hannah came on the line, "Hey Alina."

"I need you to pack my clothes from the suitcase under the stairs. It might be a bit dusty, so don't forget to clean it. Please..." I pleaded, sensing her confusion. "It's just for 2-3 days, I think. Just pack it, I have some matters to attend to here. Ask Chan to drop it at Han Seojun's house. I'll explain everything later."

Seojun and Gowoon drove off in their black car, and I decided to follow in mine, with Jisung in tow. I had discussed with Gowoon about Jisung and Felix, and she had given her approval for me to drop them off and join them. But Jisung insisted on staying with me, so Felix opted to take the bus home.

Soon, I found myself in the guest room at Seojun's house, with Jisung fast asleep beside me. Sleep eluded me as I listened to Seojun's anguished cries echoing through the house. Gowoon was also in tears, but she seemed to have come to terms with her mother's passing. Seojun, however, was struggling to cope. After tucking Jisung in, I decided to check on Seojun.I knocked gently on his bedroom door, saying, "Seojun? It's me, Alina." Gowoon opened the door, her eyes red with tears and desperation evident on her face. "Make him stop crying. He hasn't eaten dinner and he's been crying non-stop," she pleaded."I'll take care of it," I assured her, patting her head. "You go get some rest, okay?"Once she left, I entered Seojun's room to find him curled up in bed, tears streaming down his face. I sat beside him, softly calling his name, "Seojun?"

He turned at the sound of my voice and quickly wiped his tears - "Alina?"

He sat up too, and he barely managed to stay calm for 7 seconds before he started crying again. "its not fair" he said as he cried - his head rested on my shoulder. "not fair at all!"

"I know..."

"She told me she would stay with me forever. SHE LIED" he cried more. 

Nothing stays forever Seojun. Nothing. My mother left me, my friends did-

"she did not want you to worry. she wanted to see you smile Seojun." I said, patting his back. He sniffed and just then Jisung walked in - "Hyung? Noona?"

I extended my arms to him - "Jisungie...come here"

Jisung lied down on my lap as Seojun listened on to me - " Losing a mother is one of life's greatest sorrows, and the weight of her absence can feel crushing. As you navigate through this difficult time, I want you to know that you're not alone. Your grief is valid, and it's okay to feel every emotion that washes over you. I am not going to ask you to stop crying. Crying lets your emotions out. So do cry. 

But remember - Your mother's love will always be with you, ingrained in the memories you shared, the lessons she imparted, and the bond that will never fade. Though she may no longer be physically present, her spirit lives on in the love she gave you and the impact she made on your life.

She will always be with you, watching over you, guiding you, and loving you from wherever she may be. And in the quiet moments of reflection, may you find comfort in knowing that she is at peace, her spirit forever intertwined with yours."

I completed and let out a sigh. Was I being too dramatic? But i just explained him what i felt. What i needed to know when my mom died. What some mature elder should have taught and told me. But no. My dad did not let me cry. I was labelled a 'crybaby'. He burned down her pictures...

I snapped out of my thoughts when Seojun hugged me. And it was a tight hug. Tighter than any other hug. "i needed this" he said. 

"The hug?" I asked him.

"Yes. Hug and words" 

He released the hug and looked at the sleeping Jisung on my lap. "Do you need help in carrying him back to your room?" he asked me. "My room?" I asked him. He cleared his throat as he clarified - "The guest room I mean...."

"Yeah....uhm I can carry him. He is MY brother" I lifted Jisung with practised ease and walked back to the guest room. 

Mom, i hope i told the right advice to Seojun.