i remembered when i was still a student i thought about how much easier for things to work out for me because i had the privilege since i am smart . the thought about having to find a job easily because of my academic performance .
i believed that it will come true .
but why am i getting rejected ... for the fifth time ?
" we are so sorry to inform you but you don't qualify to work in this company . "
i frowned hearing those words coming out from the interviewer . i can't believe this . " what do you mean i don't ? i specialize with this type of work and you clearly know that . "
the interview sighed and shook his head . " i understand you're frustrated but we refuse . if you cannot respect our decision please leave . " he said . i laughed in disbelief and composed myself before bowing and left the building .
" stupid company . " i scoffed and walked until i made it into the bus stop . while waiting , i messaged my grandma that i would be home late and not too long she replied with an ok .
it already has been two years since i moved into the city and stayed in my grandma's house . and since then i only faced nothing but struggles .
i can't believe why i am still jobless despite my academic background when i was a student . it just doesn't make sense .
is this the punishment for what i did two years ago ? because if it is ...
then i will stop complaining .
i sighed and immediately scolding myself for bringing back the past . it had ended two years ago and all i have to do right now is to live in the present and fullfill my future .
the bus arrived and i casually sat beside the window . it is a relief that there are not much people inside the bus or else i will be standing again . the bus stopped at a school and as i roamed my eyes , i saw a girl and a boy whose wearing a basketball jersey with the number 01 holding hands while they laugh .
and for a moment , a memory flashed through my head . a boy with black hair with 01 lee jersey on the back . his tall physique , bambi eyes , and beautiful voice .
someone who i never thought i would call just a someone in the next few years .
i shrugged my thoughts and looked away from the two students . i checked the time on my phone and it's almost 5pm .
maybe a few bottles of soju wouldn't hurt .
—
'cause what i don't understand is why i'm feeling so bad now when i know it was my idea .
gulp .
why am i still standing on the same ground ? why only me ?
gulp .
well to be factual , i am still inlove with heeseung .
the girl drank the last bottle of soju before wiping her lips with her sleeves . her face red because of the alcohol and eyes red because of crying . and it's not because of how ironically she had been rejected to the jobs she applied .
but because of her ex . lee heeseung .
she knew from the start that she'd regret leaving him but it's her only choice . because if she had chosen to stay with him then his future will be blurry and uncertain .
" the result of the two of you still being together will only give him uncertain future . his future is already in good hands but you ... you'll be the reason how possible for it to be gone . "
" he'll inherit his father's company soon . and his father wants him to only focus on it . "
" so break up with him before it's too late . "
she sobbed again remembering the conversation she had with his family assistant . she felt her heart heavy and throat aching because of how much pain a memory could do to her .
she knew she'd regret it and she did . she still is .
she never knew that being with him will cost his future to downfall . and she knew for a fact that she values a better future ahead for herself , especially heeseung . so she didn't think twice and ended their relationship before graduation .
she never wanted to end things with him . the universe witnessed how much she loves him . but as time passes by getting closer to graduation , the consequences and guilt she'll experience for keeping him gets more clearer calling for her to let him go .
she regrets it regularly but knowing that he's probably out their with a better life makes up for it .
" i wonder what my hee is doing right now ... "
—
knock knock knock .
" good evening sir . here are list of the applicants for tomorrow's interview . please sign the applicants who you'd want to interview . "
the man raised an eyebrow and strictly dismissed the worker . he analyzed the applicants one by one , his pen down as no one seems to catch his interest .
not until a familiar name popped on the paper .
" park aera ? " his eyes widened for a second before coming back to normal checking the information to confirm that it was really her .
" my hee ! "
he frowned a bit before slowly signing the paper kind of hesitant because he never thought he would see her again after two years . after the incident .
he thought when and how it went wrong . he blamed himself that maybe because there must be something he did that would make her say that . she wouldn't say that out of the blue .
but a lot of things changed now , especially to him .
because for the first time , he no longer yearned for her . he no longer felt the urge to burst his unwanted feelings and learned to forget the pass .
he no longer needs her . he's free .
aera risked their love as she realized that they're too safe .
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