Peace In The Noise

It's a Bad Idea Right?

We pulled up in my driveway and went into my house. We sat on the sofa and I stared at him. He still hadn't told me his surprise. ''So, what is this big surprise?'' I asked, leaning forward eagerly. ''I can't believe I'm saying this.'' Marko paused. What could he have possibly done?  ''Darling, this past month without you has been hell on earth.'' He paused again. I was beginning to get restless, I almost started begging him just to spit it out. ''I wanna stay out here a while, I love Croatia but, you're not there.'' My eyes widened. Was I happy? A part of me probably was, but right now I was shocked more than anything. ''How long?'' I asked and he shrugged. ''Five, maybe six months or so?'' I sighed but cupped his face. ''You don't have to.'' He shook his head, making me confused. ''I know I don't, I want to.'' He moved closer to me and placed a soft kiss on my lips, and then on my head. ''Can you stay here then? I don't wanna have to travel to see you.'' He laughed lightly and put his arm around me. ''If you want me to stay here, I will.'' I suddenly remembered, I was supposed to be mad at this guy. He ghosted me for weeks, blamed it on a broken phone but yet was able to get in touch with my sister through Instagram? Why not me? Why couldn't he message me?

''Marko? Why didn't you get in touch with me?'' I asked, he was shocked by the sudden question. I think, like me, he'd forgotten about it with the whole Erik stuff. ''I told you, my phone was broken.'' I pulled away from his embrace and frowned at him. ''My instagram?'' He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Here we go. Is this where I find out I'm not the only one and that Marko is like every other man to exist? ''I wanted to surprise you, I thought you'd be okay.'' I shook my head, mainly out of anger. He thought I'd be okay? Prick. ''Marko you can't just ghost someone for two weeks then turn up, beat someone up and expect it to be okay! What's wrong with you? Vad fan är det för fel på dig?!'' I yelled and stood up. ''Calm down Ev, I'm here now aren't I?'' I scoffed. ''Whatever, kuk.'' I grabbbed my bag from the sofa and stormed off to my bedroom. Why this was suddenly bothering me, I'll never know but it was and that's all that mattered. ''Ev! Wait!'' I slammed my door and fell onto my bed. I looked out of the window and sighed as I heard Marko coming up the stairs. ''Darling? Can I come in?'' I scoffed once again. ''Yknow Marko, you call me all these pet names, you claim you love me but yet you haven't even asked me out? How can I know that you're even serious about me? About us?'' He suddenly burst through the door. Rude. ''I fly all the way from Croatia, I'm willing to leave my family for months for you and you're really going to question whether or not I'm serious about us? About you?'' I shrugged and sat up. ''I don't know.'' He sighed and crossed his arms. ''If you don't know, maybe we shouldn't be anything.''

My heart felt like it was about to beat out of my chest and tears already began to form in my eyes. Was this it? Was this really it? ''No, don't say that Marko I-'' He cut me off. ''Well, it's what you're implying is it not?'' My heart went from beating out of my chest to feeling like it had stopped completely. ''Marko, stop this isn't like you.'' He shook his head. ''No, but I guess this is what love does to you.'' He just, walked out of my bedroom. He didn't leave my house, but I didn't want to go after him in case he needed some time to think. I was so scared of losing him before we even got together and all because I couldn't handle some shitty excuse because I was insecure just because of some shitty ex boyfriends.

I layed in bed that night, waiting for Ella to come in, but she didn't. Instead all I could hear was Marko crying quietly on the sofa downstairs. It was breaking my heart. I decided to go downstairs. I leaned against the door frame with my arms crossed. ''Älskling, jag är ledsen'' I said, knowing it would get his attention and it did. He huffed and sat up, wiping his eyes. ''I'm sorry.'' I said as I sat myself next to him. ''Jag älskar dig'' He tilted his head and I sighed. ''I love you'' He smiled softly and buried his head in the crook of my neck. ''I love you too.'' Maybe we were going to be okay, but something was still bothering me.

Why wouldn't he just ask me out?

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Translations! :3

Vad fan är det för fel på dig?! - What the hell is wrong with you?!

Kuk - Dick

Älskling, jag är ledsen - Darling, I'm sorry