Peace In The Noise

Don't Go

''I love you Ev''

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It was now Saturday and Marko still didn't know that I knew he told me he loved me. Things weren't even awkward between us somehow but I was glad. Although it had made me come to a certain confusion, I knew I liked Marko, but did I love him? Was it still too early? It was driving me crazy. If he said he loved me even when I was near blackout drunk, surely he meant it? I dunno, maybe it's just what I wanted to think, maybe he didn't even mean it. Then again, we'd slept in the same bed last night too and we planned to tonight as well, did that mean anything? Who knows, not me that's for sure.

''Ev? You okay?'' Marko questioned from across the room as I stared endlessly at my phone. I shook myself out of whatever trance I was in and sighed but gave him a smiled and nodded and he came and sat next to me. ''I'm gonna miss you Ev, promise me you'll still text and call me?'' He admitted with a somewhat croaky voice and there was even a few tears rolling down his cheek. He meant what he said. ''Hey, of course, you're not rid of me that easily, sötnos.'' My words caused him to smile but he rubbed the back of his neck, his classic calling card for when he's about to ask something slightly risky, and I waited oh so eagerly for it. ''Can I-could I-can we hug?'' I nodded and wrapped my arms around him, as he did too. It sounds creepy, but I loved how easily I could smell his cologne. It was comforting. ''We should probably go to bed Ev, I gotta be up early...'' He walked off and I heard him sniffle. It pained me so much to even think about him being this sad, but he couldn't stay in Sweden any longer and I had no intentions of going to Croatia anytime soon.

That night was, boring. We didn't laugh until our stomachs' hurt, we didn't even talk. Marko went straight to sleep while I was up all night awake, overthinking everything that I possibly could. I tossed and turned all night before I gave up and went back downstairs. I figured I'd try the sofa, away from Marko. Unsuccessful. Instead it made me crave his touch even more, I want to hug him. Suddenly, the stairs started creaking and in came Marko. I wanted to tell him how I felt, but it didn't feel right, but if he left thinking I didn't love him back nothing would come of this and that hurt more. He sat himself beside of me and sighed. ''What's wrong, ljubav?'' I sighed and put my head in my hands before running my hands through my hair. Was I really going to do this? What could even happen from this? Not a lot I imagine, I left it too late.

''Marko, I need to tell you something....'' I said and he sighed again. What? ''I need to tell you something too Ev, it's been bugging me since Thursday night.'' I bit my lip, and gave him a nod for him to go first. He took a deep breath and uttered the words I'd been praying to hear again, ''I love you Ev.'' He paused and took my hands. ''I know it's been a week, but I love you so much. You're so, so beautiful and you light up any room you walk into. This week has been the best week of my life, there's a reason I stayed in Sweden, and as you already know it was you. I wanted to get to know you, and now I have I never want to lose you. I don't know how you feel but-'' I cut him off by pressing my finger on his lips. ''I-I love you too Marko...'' I said and his eyes lit up and he blushed, as I was sure I was right now. ''Really?'' He questioned and I nodded. ''I thought love this quick only happened in those shitty online stories'' I said and he laughed and cupped my face. ''Don't go Marko, please don't go...'' Great now I was getting soppy. ''Oh, moja ljubav I have to'' He said as he wrapped his arms around me and held me in a tight embrace. ''No, you don't! Please, I can't lose you Marko, not before I even have you'' He pulled away and smiled softly. That damn smile. ''You have me, if you want me then I'm all yours dragi.'' Damn, I melted.

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''Text me when you land?'' I asked as I gave Marko his suitcase. ''Of course darling, as soon as.'' I sighed and looked at him, he was smiling that cute smile, as if he was telling me it was all okay. ''You'll be okay Ev.'' This is when I lost it. I grabbed hold of him and hugged him tightly, which he didn't hesitate to reciprocate. He placed a soft kiss on my head and I began to lightly sob. How could he be leaving me? What was I going to do? Who was I going to laugh with until I fall asleep? Who was I going to take random trips with? ''Sweetheart, there's no need to cry. I'll be back soon.'' Marko said before kissing my cheek. That's when I pulled away. ''I love you'' He said and he pressed his forehead against mine. This felt like some kind of romcom cliche, I loved it. ''I love you too'' I replied and he looked into both of my eyes and then my lips. I bit my lip, out of nervousness before I gently moved forward and placed my lips onto his, he cupped my head and it genuinely was like fireworks. We couldn't seem to stop, which was a problem considering his flight was departing. I eventually pulled away and he placed another soft kiss on my forehead. He walked away and I just cried.

I cried because I was confused, hurting and annoyed. How could I feel this way after a week? Why did he have to go? Why did this have to be the one time I actually get something real? When was I going to see him? Was he even going to text me or was he going to ghost me? What was even happening...?

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Little filler before I sleep :) (Sorry that his departure was a bit, rushed and boring but I couldn't wait any longer for them to admit their feelings lmao </3)

Translations! :3

sötnos - Sweetheart

ljubav - Love

moja ljubav - My love