Sincerely yours I Severus Snape - A Harry Potter Fanfiction

No regrets, only mistakes

"Wait!" Mary yelled.

Severus stopped and turned around. Their eyes locked.

"What?"

Mary remained quiet for a short while, trying to come up with a good explanation for the reason why she was looking for Severus. Surely, she knew why she was looking for him. She just didn't know how to explain it to Severus so that there wouldn't be any misunderstandings.

"I, um... Actually, I was looking for you", Mary started, twiddling the hem of her shirt between her fingers".

Severus furrowed his brows and took a step closer towards Mary.

"You were?" he asked, a surprised tone within his quiet voice. Mary blushed and nodded, her eyes wandering down to her feet.

"I was", Mary admitted. Wait... No, don't get embarrassed! You have to be strong.

Like a flash of lightning, Mary eyes shot up from her feet and locked with Severus' black ones. A determined gleam in her dark-green eyes, Mary took a deep breath to steady her trembling body and stepped closer towards Severus.

"Why did you run away?" Mary blurted, her hands beginning to shake immediately after saying those words to Severus.

Severus stared at Mary, a mixture of confusion and something Mary couldn't quite comprehend lingering in his eyes. Another spike of bravery took a hold of Mary's body, as Mary walked through the corridor, in front of Severus and reached out her arm. Before she managed to do what she had planned to do, which was to grab Severus' hand, she became hesitant and pulled back.

"Why did you do it?" Mary asked, sorrow and anger glittering in her eyes, as she clenched her hands into tight fists. "Do you regret it?"

Mary's last words made Severus flinch as the man took a step away from her.

"Regret it?" he muttered quietly, an indecisive expression on his face. After a few moments of thinking, he closed his eyes and shook his head.

"No, Mary. That's not what this is about", he said and sighed deeply. "Maybe you should come in."

Saying that he carefully took a hold of Mary's left arm and guided her back to the end of the corridor and inside his personal chamber. As they entered the room, Mary immediately began to explore the room with her dark green eyes. The room was dark and smelled like herbs and old books. There was a desk on the left side of the room and a bed on the right side. In addition, on the right side of the room were also two bookshelves, located on either side of the bed, and a sofa.

"Please, sit", Severus said and gestured towards the red sofa between the door and one of the bookshelves. Mary nodded and sat down on the sofa. Severus followed her and sat next to her. With a sigh, he turned his face towards Mary and took her hands in his ice-cold ones.

"Mary", he started and took a deep breath. "I am sorry for running away. I don't regret kissing you if that was what you were wondering."

Mary felt a rush of relief washing over her body. That was the thing she had most feared. That Severus regretted kissing her. That he thought it was a mistake.

"But I shouldn't have done that", said Severus.

Well great, Mary thought, he does think it was a mistake.

"I am going to be honest with you. I do have feelings for you. A kind of feelings that, if I have understood everything correctly, you also have for me", he explained, still holding onto Mary's hands. "But even if our feelings towards each other are mutual, it doesn't change the fact that I am a teacher and you're my student."

That was the answer Mary was afraid of. A small part of her had hoped that now that they knew they both had feelings for each other, they could have something. Something more than a teacher-student relationship.

Mary sighed and gently pulled her hands out of Severus' hold. "I know", she said softly, turning her gaze away from Severus.

"Mary", Severus said and carefully lifted Mary's chin with his fingers, trying to meet his eyes with Mary's. Part of Mary wanted to look into those comforting onyx eyes but another part of her knew that it would only increase the pain. She pushed Severus' hand away and backed away from the dark-haired man.

"I'm sorry, Severus", Mary whispered as she stood up. "I understand what you have said, and I respect it. But I can't. I just can't."

"Can't what?" Severus asked, confused tone within his voice.

"I can't be with you like we used to. It's too painful", Mary sniffed.

For a couple of minutes, the pair remained quiet in the flickering light of Severus' personal chambers before Severus sighed and stood up.

"Perhaps you are right", he muttered and tapped his chin with his index finger, eyes locked to the floor. When Severus didn't add anything for a good while, Mary decided to head to the door.

"Well, I'll go now", Mary whispered, a mixture of sorrow and regret seeping through her usually melodic voice.

"Yes, that's... I suppose that's wise", he nodded in agreement.

****

"Mary", said Clary, who was lying on her bed in the Girls' Dormitory, reading a book about Quidditch.

"Mhmm", mumbled Mary, who sitting on her own bed, also reading a book. She was reading a book about a young and ambitious woman called Lisa Cameron, who was investigating a mysterious murder of an elderly man, who also happened to be quite comfortable when it came to financial matters.

"Don't you have to be somewhere?" she asked, a suggestive tone within her voice. Mary frowned, took a look at her watch, and realized that it was 8pm.

"Oh, right. Severus and I decided that it was time to quit the lessons for this semester", Mary explained, avoiding Clary's blue-grey eyes. Clary took a long look at Mary and narrowed her eyes, mumbling something under her breath. Mary was too tired to care what she was thinking. All she wanted was to sink into her book and forget her troubles.

"If you say so", Clary muttered and rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, what's going on between you and Alison", Mary asked, partially wanting to change the subjects, but mostly because she truly was curious about the relationship between her best friend and the raven-haired Slytherin girl.

Mary's question turned Clary's face bright red. Mary's curiosity piqued as she noticed the sudden shift her question had created in the blonde girl's demeanour.

"Clary!" Mary exclaimed, her lips turning into a playful smirk.

"Fine! Alright, alright..." Clary mumbled, her face still being as red as a tomato. "After you and I had the big fight, Alison comforted me and we talked about my, well... My sexuality", Clary started, clearly finding it difficult to speak about this subject with Mary. Mary gave Clary an encouraging nod, signalling her friend that she shouldn't be ashamed of talking about the matter with her.

"A couple of weeks ago Alison told me that she was like me. That she also liked... Liked girls. After that, we started talking and hanging out more. One thing led to another, and... We're together. I think."

Mary's jaw dropped to the ground. A small part of her had suspected that there was something going on between Alison and Clary, but now that Clary had confirmed her suspicions correct, Mary was dumfounded.

"Clary, that's amazing!" Mary rejoiced, stood up and gave her friend a big hug. Clary, who seemed genuinely surprised, answered Mary's hug with trembling arms.

"You think so?" she asked. Mary looked into Clary's eyes and nodded.

"I'm happy for you. I truly am."