Awake

Chapter 10

The kiss shared between the two was almost like a plea for acceptance from Yibo. He wasn't too aggressive but was very intentional with every slow movement he made. He didn't want to scare Zhan off but made sure to communicate his intentions.

In the beginning, Zhan's hands were hanging on his sides, but as the kiss progressed, he found himself not only reciprocating Yibo's movement but also holding on tightly to his back. As soon as Yibo felt Zhan's hands on his back, he deepened the kiss, seeking deeper intimacy with him.

Yibo pulled away first to stop himself from getting ahead of himself. Even though he pulled away from Zhan's lips, he rested his forehead on Zhan's shoulder. He was not ready to look at Zhan's face because he didn't know what emotions would be there.

Zhan was thankful for the moment to also recover from his racing heartbeat. Seeing the men without having seen what just happened, it would be easy to think they just completed an exercise because of how breathy they were.

"Mr, Lang...I don't..."

"Please don't say anything right now. Please just let this moment sink, if not for you then for me."

"OK."

The two men stayed like that for what felt like forever. Yibo buried in Zhan's neck and Zhan hugging Yibo's waist.

"I am sure your food is getting cold. Let me wam it up for you."

"No need. I can eat it as is. It hasn't been long since you made it."

"Let me warm it, I need something to do to distract myself."

"OK, in that case, do it."

Yibo went to warm the food and brought it to Zhan. They were struggling with making eye contact due to Zhan being extra aware of Yibo. So when Yibo noticed this, he just decided not to look at Zhan so that Zhan wouldn't get indigestion.

"Are we going to talk about what you meant when you said you didn't hatet he kiss?"

"Well, it means exactly what I said, I didn't hate it then, and I don't hate it now. Please don't misunderstand, I am still not sure how I feel about you."

"Why would you kiss someone who you have no feelings for, though?"

"I didn't say I have no feelings for you, I said I don't know what I feel."

"OK, I am not going to push you to admit anything because that might make things go pear-shaped between us again. I am just happy I didn't judge incorrectly?"

"What do you mean by "judge incorrectly.""

"Well, I am a man, you so are you. So, I was pursuing you not knowing whether I had a chance or not. I actually still don't know if I have a chance. All I know is that right now, you are curious about me and for now, that's wnough for me."

"I am actually not sure about all this. Don't you think you are taking a risk letting your heart feel all this for me? What if you discover that you actually already have a life partner? What will happen to us... to me?"

"Is that the reason you won't give me a chance because you are afraid once my memories come back, I might leave you?"

"That's just common sense. I can't be reckless with my heart. I have never allowed anyone inside, and the one time I am considering it, it happens to be a person who carries too many risk factors."

"I honestly don't know what lies in my past, but I can assure you my heart belongs to you. Everything inside of me wants you. I can not even comprehend there being anyone else."

"You can't know that for sure, and therefore, you can not guarantee that my fears won't come true. That's scary to me. Also, I would be diving into something that I had sworn I wouldn't explore."