Awake

chapter 20

As the hours passed and their time to part ways started getting nearer and nearer, Zhan couldn't help but feel sad.

He knew that the two weeks that Yibo was hoping it would take to sort things out was just an estimate if not a mere wish. Yibo had a lot to take care of, and the more Zhan realized this, the more helpless he felt.

He knew as soon as they part ways anxiousness would take over his heart. This was his first relationship, and from the time everything started up until now, he felt like he was always a step behind. He was certain of one thing, and that was he communicated his feelings clearly to Yibo, and he trusted that Yibo wants to be with him enough to come back to him.

Yibo's stepmother sounded very dangerous to Zhan, and because of that, Zhan wasn't sure how safe Yibo would be after she found out that he was still alive. The woman did try to kill Yibo while he was fighting for his life. How much more ruthless can one get?

" Yibo, please promise me one thing."

"OK, what is it?"

"Since you won't tell me how to reach you or even where you are going or even how to find you. Promise me that every chance you get, you will contact me. Even if there is nothing new to update me on. Just call me so that I know everything is OK. Can you promise me that?"

"I really wish I could tell you all that information, but you know why I can't. What I can do is promise that even if it's to say only good morning or good night, I will contact you."

"I am worried that if I don't hear from you, I might get too worried and do something I shouldn't. You said I mustn't ask about you or research anything about you, so I am a little anxious, to be honest."

"I can tell that you feel worried and anxious. The reason I can tell easily is because I feel the same way, if not worse than you. We are both worried about each other's safety, and the distance won't help either. I won't be able to hold you tightly and comfort you when you feel sad, cook you food after a long day or night at work or even hold you until you fall asleep on days you are feeling tired. Instead of worrying about all these things, I will use them as motivation for me to do what I need to do and come back to you as soon as possible."

"Just don't... don't put yourself in positions where you come back to me the way I met you the first time or even worse..."

Yibo didn't want to hear the rest of that statement, so he sealed Zhan's mouth with a kiss. He knew what Zhan was going to say, and he didn't want to hear him say it in that tone, with that look he had on his face. He could see that Zhan was remembering how he looked when he was injured, and now those memories mean something very different for Zhan because they are in a relationship now. Back then, when he was just a patient, as much as Zhan didn't like seeing any of his patients in that state, the injury didn't break Zhan's heart as it does now.

They shared a kiss until Yibo's phone rang. And as soon as Zhan heard it, he held on to Yibo even tighter. Even if it was only a minute longer, he wanted to hold on to Yibo.

"I think Yubin might get a bit upset and annoyed with me if I don't pick up."

Zhan, finally let go of Yibo after hearing these words.

"Answer him."

Yibo answered the phone and spoke to Yubin for a while, and when he hung up, Zhan could tell what he was about to say from the look on his face.

"Zhan, it's time for me to leave. I promise I will call you every chance I get, and most importantly, I will come back to you in one piece."

"That's all I can ask for, really. Go before I can't let go of you."

With one last kiss and a hug, Yibo left.

Zhan sat motionless on his couch until his alarm went off to remind him it was time to get ready for work. He didn't set it himself, so he figured it was probably Yibo. He knew that Zhan would be dazed for a while thinking about unnecessary things and would probably miss his time to get ready for work. Zhan had never been late for work even a single day, and Yibo didn't want to be the reason Zhan would be late today.

After Zhan was done getting ready for work, he felt more energized, only because he convinced himself that worrying and stressing won't be very helpful to Yibo or his patients. He needed to snap out of it and focus.

Off to work.

.......

"Don't be too depressed. You will see your boyfriend soon."

"I am not depressed I am just a bit worried. I really don't want to spend too much time away from him. For a long time, my biggest motivation and ambition was to avenge my mom's death. I lived and breathed for that purpose."

"And now?"

"Now I feel like I found the meaning of happiness in the middle of chaos. You know? Like a good plate of food served to me in the middle of a dust storm. The food is still good but I can't enjoy it because of all the sand distorting it. I can't really enjoy it just yet. I need to keep it covered and hope it stays fresh."

"You and your weird analogies, but I get it. Zhan really likes you. I don't need to be Einstein to know that. Just the way he looks at you is enough to know. He will wait for you freshly."

"What?"

"Well, I am just trying to use your analogy. Don't look so confused."

"I hope he does wait for me and that all this doesn't make his heart tired and weary of us being together. We don't know each other well enough for me to not worry about that. I know one thing for a fact, I won't let him go no matter what?"

"Dude, I am not even in a relationship with Zhan, but I can easily tell that if there is anyone not letting go in this relationship, it will be him. He will bring you back from the brink of death if he has to. Trust his feelings for you, man."

"I do trust his feelings for me. He has made them very clear to me. Hence, I said I was offered a great plate of food. Everything about us together feels right, but you know I have had someone write me off because of my family drama."

"You can't compare a sex partner with Zhan. Surely you know that guy was not invested in you. He never even liked you in that way. He loved your dick very much, though, and that's all he ever wanted from you. So yes, he left because things got complicated. Do you think anyone can threaten Zhan into leaving you that easily?"

"If you threaten his life, I know he won't bat an eye but he loves his job very much, and I don't know if he would choose me if someone threatened to out him at work. He is very cautious about keeping things on the DL, and people finding out that he is gay would be the worst thing that could ever happen to him."

"Even then, I believe he would still choose you. Yes, he might have been like that when he wasn't attached to anyone. The first time he met me, he boldly announced that you were his and literally made sure I knew to keep my hands off you. Zhan is not weak."

"You are right. Maybe I am the one hence I am overthinking. He actually has never given me any reason to doubt him. I might actually be the weaker one between us."

"You are not weak either. You just live in a crazy and scary world. You have lost too many loved ones, and being with Zhan has made you anxious because deep down, you might be feeling like you might lose him too. That's why you are even comparing him to that loser, because if you believe Zhan never loved you, it wouldn't be too hard on you if you lose him. Trust your plate of food. It is perfect. There is no need to worry about it. Deal with the dust better known as Ziyi."

"I don't know if I have ever said this to you, but thank you. You really are a great friend, Yubin. You really have been my support for many years."

"And now I am so tired of carrying you, I am happy to hand you over to Zhan for him to deal with you. On a serious note, I can say the same for you. Now enough, with the mooshy feelings, we have work to do."

"Any update for me?"