The past stays in the past

Chapter 4- Frustration

(Angela's gay and Lucy's bi but mostly attracted to women)

I woke up to someone tapping me on my arm. I opened my eyes a little my vision still blurry, to see Jack. Hey buddy whats wrong, I say while sitting up and little bit. My stomach hurts, he says. Come on let's get you some medicine, I say while picking him up. I put Jack on the counter and get some Tylenol out the cabinet and give him a Capri Sun. After he takes his medicine we walk back into the bedroom and Jack cuddled up with me while we go back to sleep.

The alarm clock goes off so I reach over Angela to turn it off but it won't so I just throw it in the floor and it finally decides to turn off. I sigh as I get out of bed carful to not wake up Jack and head to the bathroom. I lean down on the sink putting my head and my hands already knowing today's gonna be a bad day. What's wrong, Angela says leaning against the door frame. Nothing, I say with slight smile. Mhm let me know if you need any thing, she says while rubbing my back and walking away. Me and Angela get ready, then wake the kids up to get them ready and head off to work.

Once me and Angela get to work we both part ways. As I was heading to the locker room to put my stuff away someone stops me. It was a blonde haired girl with blue eyes. Boot you know roll call starts in 3 minutes so why are you here so late, she says. Fuck off, I yell while walking away which catches the attention of others.

Angela and Nylas POV

Someone's already pissed her off it's gonna be a bad day, Nyla says. Yea it is,Angela says while laughing.

Lucy's POV

I don't even know why I'm so mad it must just be frustration and stress. As I'm thinking about different things tears just start forming in my eyes. I hold my head back so they can go away and lucky they do. I walk out the locker room over to Angela and Nyla so I can get their help on a case. Hey can one of you
Interrogate a suspect for me, I ask them.  Sure but why can't you do it, Nyla asks. Because right now I want to kill some one, I say with a smile. Are you okay, Angela asks me with deep concern on her face. I lean my head back because I feel the tears coming. Please don't ask me that, I say with my head still leaning back. Lucy, Nyla says but I cut her off. Not right now please not right now, I say facing them, you can see the pain in my eyes. They both nod with concern. I was about to ask them something when someone decided to speak, boot why aren't you dressed and in roll call, the woman says. Call me boot one more time I will have your head against that fucking wall, I say back loud and serious. Isabell she's not a rookie she's a detective so if you don't want to be dead in approximately 5 seconds I suggest you leave, Angela says to her clearly annoyed. We're coming to your house after shift to see what's bothering you, Nyla says. I just nod in agreement and go to my desk. The rest of shift was pretty smooth besides whenever someone tried to talk to me I would get ticked off.

After shift I went to get Eliza and we headed home. How was school sweetie, I ask Eliza while putting her up on the counter. It was good mommy, in art class we got to paint and I painted you a picture. I can't wait to see it baby, I say while kissing her head. What do you want for dinner, I ask her while looking through the freezer. Chicken tenders and fries please, she asks. Of course sweetie. I pull out some chicken tenders and season them so I can quickly fry them. I run Eliza's bath water and wash her up. The food gets done right on time, I go take it out the grease and put two batches of fries in, and then I put Eliza's pajamas on and brought her to the bar thing and put her on a stool. I take the fries off and put some season salt on them. I let the food cool off before putting it on a plate and giving it to her. Thank you mama, Eliza says. Anytime sweetheart, I say while kissing her forehead. I'm about to start brushing her hair when I hear a knock on the door.  I open it to see Nyla, Angela, and Jack. Lucyyy, Jack says as he jumps into my arms. Hey Jack I missed you, I say while rubbing his head. I missed you too, he says while hugging me. Hey Eliza, Jack says waving at her. Hey Jack, Eliza says while putting another fry in her mouth. You hungry buddy, I ask while sitting him beside Eliza. He nods his head yes. Hey Angela, Eliza says waving her hand. Hey Eliza, how are you, Angela asks. I'm good and mommy makes the best food, Eliza says while putting another chicken tender in her mouth. I bet she does, Angela says while laughing. Hi, Eliza says waving to Angela. Hi I'm Nyla, Nyla says while holding her hand out to shake Eliza's hand. I'm Eliza, she says while shaking Nylas hand laughing. I didn't know you had a kid Lucy,Nyla says. I do and she my whole heart, I say while giving Jack his food with a smile. Thank you Lucy, Jack says while taking a bit of his food. Mommy we should eat dinner at Lucy's house more often, Jack says while eating a chicken tender. We might buddy, Angela says while laughing. Let me do Eliza's hair and put her down for bed and then we can talk, I say letting out a deep sigh. Angela and Nyla both look at me and I just shake my head for them not to say anything. I go get a comb and some gel so I can French braid Eliza's hair for school in the morning. Once I'm done with her hair I wash her hands and put her scarf on for her and take her to bed. I lay her down and tuck her in, mommy are you okay, Eliza asks me. The fact that my own kid can tell something is wrong with me brings tears to my eyes. I'm okay sweetie, I say while rubbing her head. No you're not your crying, she says while wiping my tears. I'll be okay I promise sweetie, I say while kissing her head. I love you mommy, she says while giving me a hug. I love you too sweetie, I say while hugging her back more tears streaming down my face. We both pull away from the hug and I tuck her into bed sleep tight I love you, I say while placing one final kiss on her forehead. I love you too mommy good night, she says as she turns and closes her eyes. I wipe my tears and head out the room leaving it cracked a little bit. I walk towards the bar and start to clean up. You okay, Angela asks me. Mhm, I respond. Really because it looks like you've been crying, Nyla says. I just stay quiet and finish cleaning. Once I'm down cleaning up I go into my bedroom to change with Angela and Nyla following behind me quickly. I go to my closet and get a big t-shirt and some shorts and head to the bathroom to change. Nyla and Angela are leaning on the bed room frame. Once I'm done I go lay down on my bed and Angela and Nyla come and lay beside me. So what's wrong, Nyla says. I don't know to be honest it could just be stress, frustration, or the fact my DOD, is coming up, my parents, the rape, or the, I get cut off my Nyla. Hold up back peddle and explain. Okay so my DOD was just day of death, the day I got buried alive  and was supposed to die, my parents abused me my whole life, and two weeks before I transferred stations my sergeant raped me.  One I'm so sorry for what you went through no one should have to go through that and we are always here if you want to talk. Thanks, I say smiling. We continue to talk for a few hours and I feel some what relieved that I finally got all that off my chest. Angela,Nyla, and Jack head home and I head to sleep. Thankful I have great friends.