Sa Ilalim Ng Buwan

Chapter Forty-One

MAURICE

After ilang days ay totoo nga at pinayagan na ako ng doctor na makapagpahangin sa labas. I was really grateful for that kasi I know I'm falling into depression as days pass by. 

  I don't want to think about it, pero whenever I see people on social media posting about what they are doing. Mga nang clo-clout chase about their school work, my classmates celebrating their victory with the cheer dance competition, even sila Sheen and our friends living their usual life- naiinggit ako. As much as I don't want to admit it, I really feel jealous. It is no one's fault why I am here, pero I can't help but wish na sana hindi nalang din nangyare sa akin 'yun. A part of me is blaming myself, kung sana kasi hindi nalang muna ako umalis sa office ng mama ni Sarina. Kung sana hinintay ko nalang muna ito at kinausap baka maayos pa ang lagay ko ngayon.

  I sigh as I stare at the window, it is three in the afternoon the last time I checked. Time passes by slowly kapag nakatunganga ka lang. Parang nakakapagod na nga humiga. My mom did her best to cure my boredom,  she even bought me a lot of books for past time, but it is still not enough. Ilang buwan na ba kasi ako dito? I really want to know when ako pwede makapag schedule ng meet with my physical therapist pero parang wala namang updates ang doctor na ibinibigay. The only thing I know is that need pa nilang iundergo ng treatment ang lower back ko, along with my other arm. 

 "Hey, baby," malambing na bati ni mommy nang makapasok ito sa kwarto ko.

  I suddenly feel guilty. Mommy had to leave work to take care of me. She had to leave a work from home pa nga dahil she wants to take care of me herself. Ayaw ko pa naman maging pabigat kina mommy. "Mommy, is there update po about my condition?"

  Natigilan ito and she stares at me. "Ahh, don't worry about it baby. Me and your dad is taking care of it, okay? We are still looking for the best doctor that can help you, we have contact already so don't worry na about it."

  I sigh. "Mom, you know you can tell me anything diba? I am old enough to know eh."

  She went to sit at the chair beside my bed. "Of course, baby. It's just that, we want the best for you, okay? We don't want you to worry about anything. I want you to focus lang on helping the doctor sa paggamot nila saiyo."

  "But bakit ang tagal?" I ask, "It's been months mom. Wala pa rin bang doctor na available?"

  Mom sigh, "Your dad is trying to make a deal with a doctor abroad. He wants the best for you, anak. "

  I can't help but roll my eyes. He comes here and visits me pero hindi pa rin kami nag uusap ng masinsinan. I am still mad at him for what he said noon, along with what happened to them ni Mati. "Mommy naman, can't you just find doctors that can help me here? You know how maarte your husband is, baka siya lang ang nagpapatagal sa lahat ng ito because he wants to find someone na nakakapasa sa standard niya."

  My mom frown but she quickly replaced it with a reassuring smile, "Honey, your dad is doing his best to find someone na makakatulong sa case mo at mapapadali ang pagbalik mo sa dati."

  "But if we don't start now edi mas lalo lang tatagal mom. So please be honest with me, baklit ang tagal?"

  My mom sigh and she looks conflicted. She fell silent for few minutes bago ito nagpakawala ng hininga. "Your Tito Walter advised us to bring you abroad anak, he thinks na mas mapapadali ang treatment mo doon. But me and your dad doesn't want you to go dahil alam kong andito ang support system mo. Kami, your family, your friends, and Sarina. As much as possible, ayaw kong mailayo ka sa kanila."