Fire burned my lungs as I turned another corner and then another. Shit, shit, shit! I hadn't meant to wander into Blu, but my feet had taken me there as if I was on autopilot. I'd tried everything to get Mingyu out of my head, but he was always there. I'd convinced myself just one glimpse of him would be enough, and then I would disappear, but he'd seen me too.
Mingyu's dark eyes on mine had made shivers run up and down my spine. One look, and I wanted nothing more than to climb into his bed and ride his cock until he smiled for me. At Blu, I was reminded that he never smiled all that much except for when he was with me.
My heart pounded as I leaned against an alley wall and sucked in a cigarette smoke-filled breath from someone nearby. The woman raised a brow at me, and I nodded. I'd probably scared the hell out of her. I closed my eyes and drew in another long, deep breath until my heart stopped racing out of my chest.
That's it. I can't go looking at him anymore.
My only job was to look into the Kim family. No more little trips to stare at Mingyu. No more driving by his place in the new beater car I'd picked up. And no more thinking about him as anything other than my enemy.
I pushed off of the wall, trudging down another set of alleys until I came out near my car. Sliding behind the wheel, I stared off into the distance. My life had been going so smoothly, but now it was a chaotic mess.
Not like it's anyone's fault but my own. I should have never gotten into bed with him.
The thought of never feeling his hands on my body or his mouth on mine was enough to send me into a full-blown depression. I opened my glove compartment and snatched the pack of cigarettes. Tapping one out, I shoved it into my mouth and lit up. I hadn't smoked in years, but I'd turned into a chimney overnight.
I started up the car and drove straight to Jennie's. Jazz would be happy to see me, and I him. I needed some comfort.
"Yo," Jennie said as she opened the door. "Come on in."
I stepped into her colorful apartment. "Where's J?"
"Probably somewhere around here. He's a revenge pisser," she said as she clicked her tongue. "J, Papa's here!" She turned to me, looking me up and down. "Where the hell have you been?"
"Out," I mumbled.
"Where out?"
I frowned. "Don't ask."
Jennie groaned. "You went to go see Mingyu again, didn't you?" She followed me as I walked through her place in search of Jazz. "Wonwoo, if you keep popping up at Blu, it sends the wrong message. How can either of you move on like that?"
I clenched my jaw so hard it hurt. She wasn't wrong, but I didn't want to hear it either. A flash of orange shot past me, and I went after Jazz. I scooped him up into my arms.
"Hey, baby," I cooed. "Why are you running away?"
Jazz yowled and shoved away from me. I put him down. As soon as he was on his feet, he ran away, disappearing into Jennie's bedroom. I stared after him as my face fell. If I was depressed before, it was worse now.
"That cat holds a grudge," Jen muttered. "Just like his Papa."
"I do not." I sighed, wanting to chase Jazz down but knowing that wasn't the answer. "Got any food?"
"Shower first," she directed. "You need freshness."
"Fair enough."
My shower was quick, mostly because whenever I spent time alone, I thought about Mingyu. I quickly stepped out, drying my hair still as I walked back into the kitchen. Jennie popped two plates on the table, teeming with overstuffed tacos.
