Illusion of my dreams

Grief in different forms

•Bills POV•

My heart was racing as my head pounded with concern. I was worried about how much Laure's death could affect Erika. I knew how much they loved eachother, they were inseparable. I sat down on the edge of my bed and stared vacantly empty at my walls.

I wish I could just make everything stop for a moment. I wanted nothing to matter that much anymore. Not everything had to be such a big deal.

I sighed in disbelief as I slowly shook my head at the thoughts of the past, how many things had happened, what kind of person I am and was, everything had changed drastically since the last time I revised back onto my past.

I heard a loud smack and the sound of glass shattering downstairs and my heart instantly sunk.

What happened?

I was ready to sprint out of my room to go check on the commotion going on but instead I knew I had to keep calm and allow that girl some space. Erika needed to be alone for a moment I assumed.

I bit my tongue trying to keep the urge of running out of the room away.

I collapsed onto my back and allowed the soft blanket to scoop me up. I was miserable and it was very obvious.

I was lost in myself, I just couldn't figure out what i was feeling, what I was experiencing. No one out there in the world had probably experienced the same things as me which made me feel terribly lonely.

I felt as if no one could possibly understand my struggles since im one of the best known gangleaders out here in Tokyo, no one could care about a man right?

They only cared about my speed and car.

After a while of thinking I managed to calm my rushing thoughts down and my brain was clear again. I inhaled deeply before exhaling again.

I quickly stood up from my bed and sauntered over to the door, wanting to go downstairs. I twisted the cold doorknob and exited my room.

I hoped that Erika would be fine and that she could handle the loss. I dragged myself down the large stairs before glancing at the door to the livingroom.

I grunted as I ripped the heavy door open and arrived into the room, my eyes instantly flying to Erika's weak body that was resting on the counter.

Her hair was tangled, her eyes were closed and there were lots of glass shatters spread around the room. I had no idea what had happened when I was upstairs but from what I could see I assumed she consumed my precious bottle of alcohol and cried until she couldn't breathe anymore since she had thick mascara traces on her cheeks.

The girl was exhausted and this shit ruined her even more.

Extreme guilt showered over me as I laid my eyes onto Erika.

She wasn't doing good and I could notice but since I never learned how to properly comfort people I didn't know how to help her. She was all alone now and not a single person in this house was able to understand her the way Laure does.

I stroked her stained cheek as I felt salty tears well up in my eyes. I blinked them away whilst my hand brushed her hair aside, exposing her face.

" im sorry."

I whispered as my eyes trailed along her beautifully sculpted face.

Suddenly her eyelids pulled themselves open and a loud groan escaped her mouth.

" Erika? Is everything okay?"

I asked as I laid my hands onto her shoulders. She didn't answer and her gaze was softened whilst she stared trough me.