Illusion of my dreams

•Bills POV•

I opened my eyes, a throbbing headache invading my mind. I grunted with annoyance before lifting myself from the floor. I was covered with vomit and no one was around.

" what the fuck?"

I groaned as I scanned my shirt.

Suddenly i saw Tom walking towards me, disappointment strongly visible in his gaze.

He just stared at me, no words were spoken.

" what?"

I hissed before managing to stand up from the ground, shame expressed on my pale face.

" what are you doing to yourself dude?"

He asked me as his brows frowned, confusion plastered on his face.

I shrugged my shoulders. I had no explanation for myself, I felt terribly ashamed and just wanted to disappear.

" this isn't what I ment by getting yourself back together you know that right?"

He started mumbling, his eyes full of sorrow and regret as he placed his hands onto my shoulders.

" please Bill, stop drinking that much and get yourself a new shirt."

With that he quickly paced by me and I was flabbergasted.

I thought this was exactly what Tom wanted from me, abuse, rape, alcohol. After all those months of trying to become my old self again he doesn't want that anymore?

He wants me to change back to my other old self?

I was so confused that it sickend me.

I hurried to my room, my eyes searching for some fresh clothes. In all of the sudden I remembered the deal I promised Masao.

I still hadn't booked a flight to Russia and I knew Masao was petrified.

The Suzuki syndicates are known for their numberous murders and placing first at nearly every race hosted in Russia.

They are one of our biggest competitors and in the back of my mind I kind of envied them. I quickly dressed myself with some clean clothes and rushed to my computer where I would search for flights.

I knew Tom wasn't in for the game but that didn't really matter. Masao is one of us, he needs us.

My eyes scanned the screen and watched how my fingers typed onto the keyboard. The next flight was tonight and I hesitated for a few seconds.

What if Tom really would refuse to come with us?

I knew he was definitely capable of doing that and it frightend me. I wasn't going to leave my brother behind in Tokyo for the Bamboo Union to slaughter him. I bit my underlip, drowning in my thoughts. Everyone had already agreed on traveling to Russia, only Tom and Erika disagreed with the plan. Ofcourse those two refused to go.

They always have a big mouth and fight against every plan I make.

I rolled my eyes at the thought of Erika.

That stupid girl.

She should be grateful that I haven't ended her useless life yet, even though, if someone would encourage me enough, I would.

She's a pain in the ass.

After a few more minutes of debating whether to book the flight or not I chose the better option. We're flying to Russia tonight.

I sighed before closing my computer again.

If Masao is already dead I'm going to shoot my brains out. I spent so much money on this flight, he better be alive.