BRIDE WITH BENEFITS | JJK

9

"So you remember how I told you I went to serve right after high school graduation then I went abroad for college. So there was another person who got the scholarship with me for the same course. While on campus we started seeking each other out whenever we missed home. Slowly it turned into relying on each other for more things and then girls were trying to hit on me all the time so I asked her to date me in front of people," he pauses.

You stay silent as you sit beside him. You wait for him to resume, you don't interrupt as it could be something sensitive for him considering how long he hid all this from you, he never even shared these things with his family, his sister who is probably the most supportive sister ever.

"Slowly it turned into a real romance. We fell in love, got internships, got tenure and settled down together. We had plans of coming back and telling our parents but we weren't ready for marriage then so we waited. And both our parents were opposed to living together without marriage even we casually brought it up so we just kept it a secret. Then her period got late, we freaked out thinking she was pregnant but when all the tests were done she was actually diagnosed with ovarian cancer and since there were no symptoms so it'd been quite long." He pauses again probably remembers the painful days of seeing his love suffer.

"The symptoms started getting worse even with treatment and then..." you see him struggling to keep himself composed. You keep your hand close to his so that if he needs and he wants to he can hold it.

"She was raised by her grandmother along with her sister, her father died in an accident soon after her sister was born and her mother eloped after a few months. Since she was the one who was taking care of her family after granny retired so I was taking care of them for many years. I told halmoni about us. A year ago halmoni started thinking that I was unable to move forward in my life and I should've a family of my own now and since Soo Ji's sister is of marriageable age now so we should get married. She doesn't knows that Mi Joo actually has a girlfriend and she lives with her, she thinks she is roommates with her best friend."
You feel so bad that you misunderstood him for all this time when he was actually doing something good.

"So I told her my mother had chosen a girl for me and nothing could be done as we were getting wedded. Then I met you and things happened quickly. Otherwise halmoni wouldn't let us take care of her anymore and I don't want her to be alone," he tells you everything looking in your eyes with a look that says that he's absolutely telling you the whole truth.

"Can I meet halmoni?" You ask cautiously placing your words one after the other worried what kind of response he would give.

"We'll arrange that later." He says.

"But Jungkook... why do you keep pushing me away even when you have feelings for me?" You ask.

"I promised her I'll never love anyone the way I loved her," he purses his lips.

"She wouldn't be hurt if you're happy Jungkook." You tell him sweetly.

"I know that. I feel bad that if I love somebody else there'll always be a thought in my head remembering the same things I did with her, said to her. And it won't be fair to the person who'll love me. I know that losing one partner doesn't means I'll lose another partner too but it's hard for me. It's so so hard for me." You notice his voice getting heavier.

You hug him not knowing what else to say. You feel this would be the most comforting thing right now.

Even he reciprocates and holds you tightly trying to keep himself strong while leaning on you. You let him know you'll be right here whenever he needs you.

"It's okay with me Jungkook. If you want to take care of granny. It's alright. In fact I'd like to meet her too so that I can help sometimes. And I would never ask you to give me the place you have for Soo Ji in your heart. And I'm glad that at least our marriage has one good result. If Mi Joo gets to live happily with her partner I'm happy to be married to you. If we can't be in love at least somebody else's love wins," you tell him.

He hugs you again. You can't believe it when he presses a tender kiss on your forehead.

"I'm so grateful, I found you. I'll try my best but if you feel I'm not enough for you, if what I can afford to give you is not what you want. You're free to leave me. I'll let you go gracefully," he says when you shake your head looking at him.

"I've never been loved before Jungkook, if you give me even a tiny bit of love I'll make myself happy with that. Just don't give up on us," you caress his hair as you speak emotionally.

"That wouldn't be fair to you. You have a kind soul. You deserve all the love in the world," he says making you giggle.

"If it's too hard for you, we don't have to do it. Don't push yourself for my sake. We can be together but keep distance," you say after much contemplation.

"We'll figure it out. Give me some time that's all I wanna ask for," he says. You nod.

"I just feel so bad Jungkook. I thought so badly of you, all these days. I thought you were trying to hurt me. I thought you were cheating and... it was so bad of me," he places a finger on your lips. He shakes his head restricting you from speaking.

"I'm sorry," he says. "Now get dressed I'm taking you out for lunch. It was so hard to get a booking at this famous place," he says encouraging you to get up from the bed and get changed.