BRIDE WITH BENEFITS | JJK

29

You stand and walk upto him. He keeps his eyes closed, his head bowed. No matter how much you try to make him stand, his knees don't shake from the spot.

"I'm not gonna talk to you if you don't stand," you warn him.

He stands up when you pull him up but he still keeps his head bowed down.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," he keeps repeating.

"Let's sit down and talk like grown ups. We can cry later," you tell him wiping his tears and give him a glass of water to drink.

You feel really really angry at him but also feel so relieved to have him in front of you.

You understand better than anyone what he goes through. How his tragic past still holds him with a tight grip. He tries to pull himself away but he gets pulled back into it. He's just not able to break the ropes that are tied around him. He can just stretch them like an rubber band which goes back to it's initial form again.

You have come to accept. To some extent, it's always gonna be like this. If something happens to you he's always gonna be worried and think of the worst case scenario.

You can't even imagine what he had to go through at such a young age. You know because if you imagine something like that happening to him, well you can't even imagine something like that. You can only wonder how he endured all that pain all alone.

"Please don't leave me," he begs hugging you tightly. He's seen you, touched you, smelled you after so long. He can barely spend a day without you anymore.

"Please. I can't live without you. Please. I love you. Please. You're my whole damn world," he cries holding you closely.

"Look I'm gonna ask you one last time," you speak looking at him as he finally opens his eyes and looks in yours.

You keep your hands over his before you ask, "You've had time to think. Will you or will you not make a family with me? It doesn't have to be right now, we can wait a couple years but..." You speak gravely.

"I want it. Didn't you see how happy I was? But I want to wait for a while. Look I only have one regret that our relationship and our marriage didn't start with the right intention from my side. I want to make it right. Can we start over?" He asks.

You contemplate. You also agree that it'll be the right thing for you two. Spending some time on building a strong foundation wouldn't be a waste of time. You can't just erase the feelings you have for each other. You just have to make a healthy relationship out of it. You have to do it for the sake of your collective future.

"I'm ready Jungkook." You tell him.

"There are no secrets between you and me anymore. I laid my past bare in front of you. You know everything about my past. You're the only one who knows about it all. You're the only one who makes this life worth living for me. I know it's not possible but I only wish for thing that I must go before you when the time comes. I can never witness something like that again," he says.

You don't argue with him anymore. You know how he must feel. How he must get flashbacks every day and every night of that one horrifying moment of his life. Maybe your presence helps him a little bit and you hope that you can bring so much more joy that he doesn't remembers it too often as time passes by.

"It's too selfish of me. But I need you when I start remembering those dark times again. Only you've got that power to keep me away from it," he says while his fingers are intertwined with yours.

"I'll try my best. Just give me a chance Jungkook. I'll bring so much joy to your life you won't remember it all so often. I'll make so many babies and keep you so busy and make sure that you don't have a spare moment left for yourself," you say to lighten the mood. He chuckles.

"I love you Jungkook. Always remember that," you kiss his forehead.

"I'm sorry," he says before kissing yours.

He takes you back to your home with you. Your heart warms up when you step inside those familiar four walls. It's where your heart resides now.

"Porridge date at 7 pm," he says before heading towards the bathroom.

You laugh at his words. He asks you to get dressed up for it. Keeps you inside the room while he cooks.

You rest better on the mattress. You don't find relaxation anywhere else now.

You see that he has removed all items reminiscent of the tragedy from your sight. You don't want to know where it's all kept.

He put it all away into a box. The way he keeps a box of Sooji's belongings hidden. He also kept the pregnancy test, the little notes he used to write, the small plushie and the calendar he'd marked everything on, hidden too.

You change into a t-shirt dress. Your stitches are washable, so you've been able to carefully wash yourself. Still you don't want to wear a formal dress and ruin it with ointments. You don't really feel like your best self. You can't expect yourself to.

When you walk out of the room and sit at the dining table. Jungkook takes you back to the bedroom. He keeps a table on the bed, plays a movie on his laptop. Keeps the porridge bowls on the table and asks you to sit beside him.

He's eating bland porridge with you even when he could eat something else whatever he wishes to eat.

It's a cozy ghibli movie that he decided to put on. You watched Spirited away once before but you didn't really remember anything. It's nice to get absorbed into the magical world with him by your side.

When you two can't get yourself to sleep, he starts another movie. The two of you watch Ratatouille which started to play after he randomly pressed a button with his palm.

He brings some milk for you knows that you don't really like it. So he drinks a glass himself too. Says cheers as if you're drinking alcohol.

It's better than any date you two ever had. When the movie ends and the credits roll. His gaze shifts towards you.

He looks at you with the gaze that you always waited for him to look at you with whenever you went out to watch a movie.

"It's just the first date," he tells you when you start leaning closer to his lips.

"One of those once in a lifetime first date where you just know you wanna spend your whole life with the person you just met." He blushes hearing your words and quickly leans in for a passionate kiss.

He prepares the bed for you to sleep. Makes a pillow barrier in between so that you can stay safe. No matter how much he wants to cuddle with you, he understands he has got to stay distant until you don't recover fully.