The Broken Glader

Part 14 - Life is not that effing easy!

Y/n pov:

"What the shuck is going on?" He asked angrily staring into my eyes.
His words echoed in my mind. So much has happened recently that nothing really made sense anymore.
"I um, I haven't been um eating?" I said nervously.
"What do you mean? I have watched you eat every meal!" He asked confused.
"I mean I have been eating but after I finish I go and throw it up. Then I get to enjoy the taste but don't get any fatter. See I've finally started to lose weight!"
"Y/n! I cannot believe this. You are not fat! You have never been shucking fat! You are beautiful! You are the most stunning person I have ever seen love! You need to eat!" He almost shouted back.
I sat staring into his eyes water filling them, blurring my vision.
"I can't Newt. It's not that simple." I sobbed.
He hugged me tightly. I leant my head onto his warm chest. He was just so perfect. I slowly drifted off.
When I woke up I was surrounded by pillows in a warm bed. I looked around and realised I was in my hut. It had been tidied and cleaned. I sat up amongst the pillows. Newt walked it carrying a small plate of food. I realised what he was doing.
"Just eat some of it." He said smiling.
I ripped part of the plain pancake off and placed it in my mouth. I swallowed it. I felt sickness rising in my stomach and forced a smile.
"Tastes great, thanks Newt."
"Mhm. I'm not leaving your side the entire day Y/n so don't even think about trying to throw it up."
I looked down.
"Please Newt! Please just let me be skinny!"
"You are unhealthily skinny Y/n! A quarter of a pancake isn't going to change that!"
I knew he was right, but it didn't change how I felt. I didn't want to eat and I didn't want to get fatter.

I got dressed and headed outside. Newt watching me intensely. I walked into the medjacks' hut and started to work. Newt standing in the corner watching.
After the morning's work I started to head back to my hut.
"And where do you think you are going?" I head his British voice behind me.
"To my hut?"
"No love. Not happening. We are going to lunch." He said firmly.
"I think you'll find that I am in charge of what I do." I snapped back.
"Come on love. It's not that hard."
"It not that hard? It's not that FUCKING HARD!? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED? HAVE YOU EVER HAD SOMEONE TRY TO DROWN YOU?! HAVE YOU EVER BEEN BURNT BY YOUR BOYFRIEND BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT!? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SENT NOTES TO TELL YOU HOW UGLY AND FAT YOU ARE?! HAVE YOU EVER SLIT YOUR WRISTS AND STOPPED EATING BECAUSE OF IT!? HAVE YOU EVER STARTED HAVING RANDOM VISIONS WHERE YOU START DROWNING BECAUSE OF YOUR TRAUMA?! NO! YOU SHUCKING HAVEN'T! SO QUIT TELLING ME THAT IT'S EASY OR SIMPLE. LIFE IS NOT THAT EFFING EASY, OK!?" I screamed back.
I ran to my hut and slammed the door. Then I felt it. I felt the water start to climb over the walls filling up the glade. My chest tightened I couldn't breathe. My palms began to sweat and I started screaming and crying. And then I stopped breathing. I was trapped under the water once again. When it all disappeared my vision remained blurry and I could vaguely see a few figures standing around me. I turned to my side and threw up continuously. I didn't stop vomiting for about 3 minutes. I sat in bed. My vision still blurred. I knew people were there but I couldn't tell who. I drifted off into sleep once again, my body aching.

Newt's pov:

"It not that hard? It's not that FUCKING HARD!? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED? HAVE YOU EVER HAD SOMEONE TRY TO DROWN YOU?! HAVE YOU EVER BEEN BURNT BY YOUR BOYFRIEND BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT!? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SENT NOTES TO TELL YOU HOW UGLY AND FAT YOU ARE?! HAVE YOU EVER SLIT YOUR WRISTS AND STOPPED EATING BECAUSE OF IT!? HAVE YOU EVER STARTED HAVING RANDOM VISIONS WHERE TOU START DROWNING BECAUSE OF YOUR TRAUMA?! NO! YOU SHUCKING HAVEN'T! SO QUIT TELLING ME THAT IT'S EASY OR SIMPLE. LIFE IS NOT THAT EFFING EASY, OK!?" She screamed at me.
She started running toward her hut and I just stood there processing what had just happened. She had been through so much and I just hadn't thought bout how it had affected her! Also she had been having visions and not told me!? I can't imagine what that must be like. The sudden sound of screaming knocked me out of my thoughts.
Y/n.
I sprinted to her hut and found her crying and screaming squirming on her bed. Alby, Jeff and Minho had followed, also hearing the screams. Then she stopped. She stopped everything even breathing. Her eyes opened and with tears streaming down her face she started throwing up continuously. She didn't stop for maybe 3 minutes before turning back into bed. Then she lay down and her eyes slowly drifted closed. I just stood there watching. Oh my god. Someone dragged me out the hut and I fell to the floor. I couldn't think straight after watching what had just happened. Jeff, Clint and Ably were all in the hut checking her and treating her. I sat on the grass with my head in my hands. I was lifted off the floor and taken to the medjacks' hut and sat on the bed. My eyes were heavy and I spoke with a shaky voice.
"Is she going to be ok?" I asked Minho sitting opposite.
"I don't know Newt. I don't know." He answered.

- Author's note
Heyyyyyy! Hope you are all doing well! Sorry for the short chapter! This was incredibly difficult to write. Things tend to go up from here so don't worry. Have a good day/night lol!

- Scarlettuce
- 996 words (actual story)