The Broken Glader

Part 26 - Slowly fading away

- Y/n pov:

- time skip -

It had been a week since my vision and I hadn't left my hut since. I practically refused to even move. I hadn't spoken to anyone.

Tomorrow was the day that I had to go back to work and I was dreading it. I would have to spend my entire day outside, for everyone to see.
It was evening and everyone was at dinner. Minho walked in with his usual small plate that consisted of a few grapes and a small slice of buttered bread. This was Minho's compromise. I would eat 1/4 of a regular dinner portion each day. No more, no less. If it weren't for Minho I still wouldn't eat but I knew that I had to eat to stay alive. I wasn't fully sure that I actually still wanted to be alive but that wasn't the point.
I picked up a cigarette and lit it. It was basically my therapy. Luckily enough I had been able to find 10 more packs across all of my boxes and was using them as and when. I alternated between eating and smoking, Minho just sitting there watching. I felt a tear run down my cheek once more. I couldn't stop. It never stopped. All
I ever did was cry. I'm so fucking weak and pathetic. Ugh.
I finished the plate and Minho took it back to Fry. While he was gone I sat it the bathroom. I held my hair back from my face and sipped some of the water form the glass beside me. I threw up violently and rinsed out my mouth before he returned.
He came back and waved me goodnight and I returned the favour. I hadn't really spoken to him or anyone since the vision. Every time I tried to talk, my mind just clouded with thoughts about Newt and I would break down crying.
I sat up in my bed.
I hadn't exactly slept either.
I cried all night finishing my pack of cigarettes and patiently waited until morning. After what seemed like years, the sun began to rise above the wall.

Today I had to get up. Today I had to go outside and be a person again. Today I had to start having a life again. I swung my legs over the side of my bed and pushed myself up. I opened my closet door and pulled out some fresh clothes. I hadn't changed in 3 days. I slipped on my black leggings and pulled my green tank on. I went into the bathroom. I braided my hair like always and looked in the mirror at my lifeless eyes. My gaze shifted to my stomach where a large scar was left; the skin around stained a sort of pink from the blood.
I grabbed my hoodie and put it on. Nobody needed to see that.
I scooped up the sleeping cat from her bed and placed her on my shoulder, pulling my hood up to shade her.

Everybody was up now and they had all finished breakfast so they were heading to their jobs.
I grabbed my boots, tightened them and placed a hand on my door handle.
I took a deep breath and then I opened the door.
I stood there for a second just staring around at the glade. It was a breezy day and you could hear the faintest sound of birds in the dead heads. The sun was shining lightly and it filled the glade. I had forgotten how it felt to be in the glade. To be out and about in the beautiful landscape, grass tickling your ankles.
The feeling was short lived as I spotted him. Newt was standing with Teresa, holding her close, laughing. My heart sank and I felt as though I might throw up. I walked over to the medjacks' hut and entered. Inside were Clint and Jeff. They smiled at me and I smiled to the best of my ability back. It was going to be a long day.
By lunch time I had patched up 2 slicers and made up the beds. Clint and Jeff went off to lunch and I just stayed in the hut. After a few minutes of solitude my thoughts got the best of me again and tears streamed down my face. Minho walked in.
"Hey Y/n." He said slightly smiling before just hugging me once again. This is what usually happened. I would break down, Minho would hug me and I would hide away into my hut again. This time I couldn't hide. This time I was trapped into being part of society.
Lunch ended and Minho went back to Alby. He had the day off because Alby was worried that I might need him on my first day back. I was so pathetic in their eyes.

Clint came in briefly to tell me that him and Jeff were needed in the blood house and that I was in charge.
I nodded.
I organised the bandage cupboard and sorted a few different medicines.
Someone knocked on the door and walked in.
I turned to see him there, blood dripping from the side of his leg.
I stood there staring, my mind racing, my heart aching.
"Are either Clint or Jeff here?" He asked sounding impatient.
I shook my head. He sat down on the bed. I grabbed a bandage and small vile of liquid. I moved his leg onto the bed and poured the liquid onto his wound. I then bandaged it.

I stood up turning away. Tears filling my eyes. I put the bandage back and held the vile firmly in my hand. I wiped my eyes and turned back to him. I waved my hand, signalling for him to leave.
"Y/n I-"
"Save it." I screamed back, throwing the vile across the room, shards of glass flying everywhere. I collapsed to the floor leaving Newt standing there in shock. He rushed out.
I grabbed one of the shards and started to slash my wrists.
What was the point of even being anymore. I was just hurting everyone else by being there.
Somebody yanked the glass from my hand and held my hands together. My vision was blurred by my tears. I didn't see what happened but before I knew it I was laid on the bed, gladers surrounding me. They were rolling up my sleeves and lifting up my hoodie to see my stomach. I felt two people grab my shoulders and hold them down as a piercing pain went through my wrists. I cried and screamed, the pain overwhelming me.
I had blocked out the noises of the world and just kept thinking the same words.
'Why am I here? What's the point?'
The pain eventually stopped, leaving just me in a room filled with gladers staring at my weak and limp body.
The happiness that once lived in my eyes gone.

Nobody but Minho really knew how bad it was but now they did. This was all that was left of me. A soulless girl slowly fading away. I felt a small prick in my arm and everything went black.

- Author's note
Heyyyyyyy! Hope you are well! This chapter almost made me cry 😭. Have a good day/night!

- Scarlettuce
- 1187 words (actual story)