The Broken Glader

Part 23 - My soul, gone

- Y/n pov:

Since I had rummaged through all the stuff in my hut, I had found a few things I didn't realise I had. I had found a cat toy for Sunny, some kind of coin, a lighter and a pack of cigars.
Without hesitation I opened the packet and lit the end of one. I put it in my mouth and started to breathe deeply. I felt like it was supposed to be hard at first but something in me knew how to do it, like I had been doing it for years.
I had changed into a grey hoodie and matching joggers. I looked to my right to find one of my knifes just lying on the floor. I picked it up and lifted my hoodie, exposing my stomach. Ever since my Griever accident I had had my meals monitored so naturally I had put on a lot of weight. I hated it. I looked so ugly and I knew that Teresa was skinnier than me.  Maybe that's why Newt loved her more.
I started to cut. It hurt like hell. But I never made a sound in case anyone was close by.
In the end my stomach was covered in blood, and covered in slashes. I wiped up the blood, careful not to get it on my hoodie.
I pulled the strings of my hoodie tighter, almost covering my face. I looked out my window to see a setting sun and a busy glade. Everyone had finished their work and were heading to their huts or the showers before dinner. I heard two pairs of footsteps walk up to the door. I was at just on the other side, knees tucked to my chest, head down.
They stopped as they approached the door. I heard their voices.
"Do you think she's in there?" I heard a familiar female voice ask.
"Probably. But that doesn't matter. She's left us our stuff so we don't have to see her ugly face. We should thank her for the favour." He responded.
I didn't even flinch at his words. My soul was already dead so why bother. Why care what life was like.
"Yeah." She replied trying to sound all innocent to Newt.
My heart ached. Everything that I had was gone. Every night spent talking, every kiss on the cheek, every hug. Every compliment, every meal shared. Every moment. Gone. All from just a few words.
The footsteps slowly faded as they walked off.
I sobbed into my hoodie, Sunny purring up against me. Newt was my everything.

- time skip -

The glade went quiet.
It was dinner time.
I sat in my room still not moving. Sunny had left me a couple minutes earlier and played with her cat toy.
I didn't want dinner. I never wanted to eat again. So I just sat there thinking.

I called Sunny over. She was an incredibly smart cat and it seemed that she understood what we said to her. So I grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled on it. I attached it to her collar and told her to go find Minho and make sure he read the note. She tilted her head in understanding and left through the cat flap.
7 minutes and 39 seconds later I heard a knock at my door. I slowly stood up and opened it. Outside was a smiling Minho, holding two glasses of liquid and a ginger cat.
I let her climb up my arm and round my shoulder, while beckoning Minho inside.
He handed me one of the glasses and I took a big gulp.
"Easy there Y/n. I've only got two glasses and we've got all night." He said slightly chuckling. I smiled back half heartedly and we sat there talking. I was so thankful that Sunny had ended up getting the note to him. I really needed this.
What I mean by this is, a glass of alcohol so it would ease my pain, and to be able to talk to someone.
At around about 10, Minho headed out to his hammock. I waved him off and grabbed a pillow off of my bed. I placed it against the door and returned to my original position. That's where I stayed all night. I didn't sleep, I didn't speak, I didn't move. I just sat with silent tears rolling down my cheeks, my mind racing; my soul, gone.
The sun started to rise, shining through my window. Sunny bounded over from her little bed, and climbed onto my shoulder. She softly nodded her head, stroking my neck. I scratched her head and stood up. I walked over to my closet and pulled out a black hoodie. I slipped off the grey one and switched it with the black. I walked into the bathroom and looked at my reflection. I had huge bags under my eyes, and tear stains on my face. The light in my eyes was completely gone. I took off my hood and painfully brushed through my knotty hair, and plaited it. The plait stretched down almost all of my back. I pulled it forward, leaving it resting on the shoulder next to Sunny. I pulled my hood back up and walked out.
I came toward a point in the floor, right by the bed. I lifted up the loose board and picked up the book. I opened it and flicked through the pages. Ripping out any ones that mentioned him, or how much I loved him. I didn't need to be reminded that he didn't love me anymore and that I had lost the seemingly everlasting love.
After I was done ripping the pages out, I placed the book back in its little hiding spot, and covered it up.
I sat there for a few minutes. The glade was gradually getting louder and many shadows passed by my window. Everyone would be heading to breakfast so I didn't move.
I heard a knock at my door and I slowly made my way toward it. I opened it slightly checking who waited on the other side. It was Minho.
Today was runners' day off so he would have breakfast with everyone else.
I stood in the small crack waiting for him to tell me what he wanted.
He gently creaked the door open a little more and hugged me.
"Y/n, I am so sorry that Newt did that. You deserve so much better." He whispered in my ear.
A singular droplet fell from eye, sliding down my cheeks.
This time i didn't protest. I just let him hug me.
"You need to come for breakfast Y/n."
He said concerned.
I shook my head and smiled to the best of my ability. I shut the door and locked it sliding down, my back firmly pressed against it.
"Y/n please." He mumbled into the door. I didn't react. Just sitting there with more tears streaming down.
I heard the footsteps leave and allowed myself one sob, before going silent once more.

- Author's note
Heyyyyyy! Hope you are well! Hope you liked the chapter! Have a good day/night.

- Scarlettuce
- 1172 words (actual story)